Author Topic: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.  (Read 495 times)

We Fly High

Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« on: December 26, 2006, 11:43:11 PM »
These three topics are something that I have been continually thinking about in my head. I'm at a standpoint right now, where I think I have to give up drugs including marijuana. Drugs have straight fucked my head up bad. I'm not talking about dumbing out, but some straight up paranoia.

A little history of drug usage. I wasn't no heroin or crack addict, but I had a penchant for a lot of hallucinogens and ecstasy. I used to take X every other day at school for a couple months. I'd just pop half a pill during first period, and ride out the rest of the day. I also came up on some Acid, and used that somewhat frequently for several months. I probably did it like once a week for 3 months. Shrooms I've only done several times as well. The thing is, for each of these drugs, I never had a problem with doing it by myself. X I've done by myself, but in social settings (school). Acid first time I ever did it, was by myself just locked in the room. Shrooms i've done by myself too, which is probably the stupidest thing you could ever do.

Anyways, during my college sophmore year. I started dabbling into marijuana very heavily. I was selling during that time, so i had an overabundance on me at all times, like at least a pound or two. So as a result, I was smoking so much, that i'd be trippin out about neighbors/cops/stick ups.. I was lookin out my shutter all the time, peepin at my neighbors.. it was ridiculous behavior.  and I dont know if this is just crazy thinking.. but I used to have this scale that would always read the measurements off, so basically everytime i weighed something, I had to weigh it like 5 times just to get like an average.. and I think that mentality just started to transfer to everything else in my life. Since I was weighing like 20 sacks a day, I think it was only natural that this sort of uncertainty got ingrained into my other behaviors. I started to double/triple/quadruple check everything I did. Anyways the marijuana consumption has continued till this present moment,  but definitely not to the same degree, but still using it multiple times daily, nonetheless.

so now its gotten to the point that I am super anti social. I went to four different colleges, and always lived off campus (by myself for 3 of the years), so that didnt really help with meeting people. I have pretty bad social anxiety, and dont really bother meeting new people or like being in places with a lot of people I dont know (clubs,bars,parties). I am super paranoid and always think people are out to get me or screw me over, which is very far from the truth. I now live with 3 roommates, but we only share 2 bathrooms, so one of the roommates always has to use my restroom, which is cool, but that also means her guests as well, which im not cool with. anyways its gotten to the point that the paranoia has really strained my relationship with my roommates because I always just operate off the false pretense that her guests might try to jack my shit. (I do have a lot of work sensitive stuff, that I keep under lock and key, but it doesnt justify the degree of paranoia that I have).

so now, I've lost several good friends from this paranoia shit (like the slightest hint of disloyalty and I drop a friendship completely). its developed a rocky relationship with my roommates. and people just think im fucking weird for trippin out about everything.

I think i'm going to try to lead a new life this upcoming new year. I've lived this paranoid lifestyle for the past 4 years, and its really confined what I am capable of, as well as the relationships that I've developed. I know that I won't be able to slow my marijuana consumption right away.. but I'm going to try to cut it down to every other day, and then down to once a week, and then down to once a month, and maybe completely stop if it comes to it. I'm just tired of this paranoia, and I think i'm ready to do whatever is necessary to stop it. I've always been known as the weed man among my friends, and often times overlooked the negative consequences that come along with it, but i think its time to acknowledge them.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2006, 12:16:27 AM by We Fly High »
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia, please discuss.
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2006, 12:10:35 AM »
go clean nigga
"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

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WestCoasta

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2006, 01:02:23 AM »
me personally, I don't get paranoid... I have a strong will to just forget about shit
like if I'm paranoid, I can tell myself to stop bein a bitch and then it all goes away

but dude you sound like my brother about a year ago
he was havin anxiety attacks all the time, worrying about nonsense
he's done as much drugs as you say you've done and probably more
he was paranoid about everything
he was trippin so bad one time worryin about if this girl he was doin had AIDS and shit
and then he got tested and of course he's clean and then every after that he would bring it up
(although the clean test eased his mind)
I was just tryin to explain to him he's a nut as best I could, and then he eventually came around
and there's a ton of shit that he was stressin about dumb shit..
his behavior wasn't erratic, he wasn't acting like another person, he just had these overcoming thoughts he couldn't stop
and this was like 4 years from the last time he did any phsycadelics

he thinks he's definitely been changed by the drugs, and even today he's not paranoid but he still is about certain dumb things
he quit smokin bud for a couple months because he thought it might help
he really got his mind right and was doin better.... he smokes sometimes right now but that's only because I got it all over the house


but ya... maybe you should try to let it go.... it's tough, I've quit before and I'm eventually gonna have to quit for a long time comin up soon in my life... it's like you're losing an old friend and great memories and you don't wanna give it up
but it's really the best thing to do and after about a week you kinda begin to shake that need for the bud
your life flows a lot smoother without drugs... and definitely weed can change your thought pattern
I've quit multiple times over long long periods and I've noticed believe me



*about the people in your bathroom and you lockin your shit up and worrying about if they jack you

that's normal man, I'd do the same shit if I had roommates...

you got a right to be "paranoid" about that.... and don't give that up cuz people will jack you

 

We Fly High

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2006, 02:12:49 PM »
his behavior wasn't erratic, he wasn't acting like another person, he just had these overcoming thoughts he couldn't stop
and this was like 4 years from the last time he did any phsycadelics

he thinks he's definitely been changed by the drugs, and even today he's not paranoid but he still is about certain dumb things

yeah that perfectly describes me..I remember you were posting about your brother in another thread.. im not acting all crazy and shit, like a different person, but i just have a lot of these ideas and thoughts that overwhelm my sensibility and reasoning. and its been about 4 years since i was fuckin with the psychadelics heavy.. I did shrooms a couple times in college, and one of the times was by myself,  and that was the worst ever. my ex- good friend was warning me about these effects back in the day when i first started dablling in it. saying that her brother;s friend is feeling the after effects even like 10 years later.. too bad i didnt listen to her, and unfortunately, that was a friend i lost due to this schizo bullshit..

One of my good friends described it pretty well, about being very self consicous and over observative. Like i would have a tendency to hold back, because i would over analyze shit, like my own behavior

I dont know.. I gotta start just getting rid of everything in my house that has to deal with weed, blunts, lighters, ash trays, bongs, pieces.. everything.. but its going to be hard cos two of my roommates are probably even bigger stoners than me.. but hopefully my will is strong enough.. and I can start seeing some positive outcomes and results.

and with the position im in now at work, i think i can be taking much more advantage of it.. but i guess weed has made me very a motivational as well.. so im not doing as much as i could..

i dont know, maybe you could ask your brother about this too.. but i recently started developing like OCD. I used to not really care about washing my hands, only washing them if they were dirty.. but now I wash them like any chance that it gets slightly tainted.. and then i have a real bad problem with like organizing and re-organizing the same shit. like i only have so many cds and records, but im constantly taking them out and re-orrganizing them, realphabetizing them, constantly checking the inventory, and its just becoming stupid..



 

everlast1986

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2006, 02:16:03 PM »
smoke some weed
 

We Fly High

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2006, 02:24:40 PM »
smoke some weed

please stay outta the thread if u dont have anything important to contribute, thanks.
 

Samoan Enforcer

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2006, 03:40:50 PM »
DOG! I was in the same exact boat (pretty much) for about a year or so. go ahead and take a couple weeks off if you want, get used to the feeling of not being high. then go back to smokin weed, not that other shit. if you start feeling that strong wave of emotion or paranoia just realize thats the chornic doing what its supposed to do and you should be happy youre getting such potent shit. i used to think i was on the verge of going crazy but doggie you just gotta not feed into that shit. anything you push on yourself too much you will become. surround yourself with good things while youre gettin high dont be wiking schizophrenia or whatever. youre obviously capable of expressing yourself on here just fine so youre not schizophrenic
 

WestCoasta

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2006, 03:50:04 PM »
One of my good friends described it pretty well, about being very self consicous and over observative. Like i would have a tendency to hold back, because i would over analyze shit, like my own behavior

that there sounds like my brother for sure


and with the position im in now at work, i think i can be taking much more advantage of it.. im not doing as much as i could..

that's true as well


i dont know, maybe you could ask your brother about this too.. but i recently started developing like OCD. I used to not really care about washing my hands, only washing them if they were dirty.. but now I wash them like any chance that it gets slightly tainted.. and then i have a real bad problem with like organizing and re-organizing the same shit.

that right there does not sound like him, his room is a mess and he never puts shit away or cleans up
people are different though and if you didn't do that in the past then maybe it has somethin to do with it


I dont know it sounds like you really wanna quit and you know it will help and it's what you should do
but there's somethin that makes you keep wanting to smoke... I know the feeling

if you know it will help then you gotta just take it like a man and stop cold turkey and see how things go
because chances are things won't get better right away and it will take a while, but if you can do it I'd bet the house things would get better no doubt
 

WestCoasta

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2006, 04:09:02 PM »
DOG! I was in the same exact boat (pretty much) for about a year or so. go ahead and take a couple weeks off if you want, get used to the feeling of not being high. then go back to smokin weed, not that other shit. if you start feeling that strong wave of emotion or paranoia just realize thats the chornic doing what its supposed to do and you should be happy youre getting such potent shit. i used to think i was on the verge of going crazy but doggie you just gotta not feed into that shit. anything you push on yourself too much you will become. surround yourself with good things while youre gettin high dont be wiking schizophrenia or whatever. youre obviously capable of expressing yourself on here just fine so youre not schizophrenic

^  this here is the actual reality and exactly what I tried to reason with my brother about

the only problem is, guys like me and J Bananas can do it that easy, and guys like my brother and you Justin can't do it all so easy

I don't mean to speak for you but you have tried to reason with yourself and fight the feelings right?

if so then putting it out of mind is not an option

like when I tried to tell my brother to fuckin forget about it, he understood very well what I meant, he just couldn't do it


I don't like tellin people what to do but if ya want my advice I'd stop for a minute...

no matter the problem, if you sober up you will get a clear head

sometimes you gotta get back to reality to scope out and analyze things and make decisions
 

NTP

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2006, 04:59:06 PM »
Good subject people. I have helped many many people with similar problems so if anymore advice is needed i am always here  ;).
 

We Fly High

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2006, 07:00:22 PM »
DOG! I was in the same exact boat (pretty much) for about a year or so. go ahead and take a couple weeks off if you want, get used to the feeling of not being high. then go back to smokin weed, not that other shit. if you start feeling that strong wave of emotion or paranoia just realize thats the chornic doing what its supposed to do and you should be happy youre getting such potent shit. i used to think i was on the verge of going crazy but doggie you just gotta not feed into that shit. anything you push on yourself too much you will become. surround yourself with good things while youre gettin high dont be wiking schizophrenia or whatever. youre obviously capable of expressing yourself on here just fine so youre not schizophrenic

^  this here is the actual reality and exactly what I tried to reason with my brother about

the only problem is, guys like me and J Bananas can do it that easy, and guys like my brother and you Justin can't do it all so easy

I don't mean to speak for you but you have tried to reason with yourself and fight the feelings right?

if so then putting it out of mind is not an option

like when I tried to tell my brother to fuckin forget about it, he understood very well what I meant, he just couldn't do it


I don't like tellin people what to do but if ya want my advice I'd stop for a minute...

no matter the problem, if you sober up you will get a clear head

sometimes you gotta get back to reality to scope out and analyze things and make decisions


i'm going to stop cold turkey today.. hopefully i follow through.. but today will be the first time i havent smoked voluntarily in like 6 years.. only time i ever took a single day break was when i went overseas for 2 weeks, and i went like 3 days last year just cos i didnt have a hook.. so if i can make it through today, i'll be pretty damn happy. yeah once i get a clear head i can re-evaluate the situation.

i mean i've definitely tried to reason with myself.. but like you said, its people like myself and your brother that just cant do it all that easy.. especially with our history of usage, our thought process is just really out of line. like i've definitely try to leave it out of my mind.. but it just keeps coming back and coming back, and theres nothing that I can do to really stop it. I very well understand that I need to fuckin forget about it, and my friends constantly reinforce that.. but once again, i just cant do it..

like you said, I really do want to quit and i know it will help, but when its something that you've relied on for the past 6 years.. its like something out of habit and just a crazy psychological dependency.. Like i began to smoke a lot of weed basically as a way to stop using all those other drugs, and it pretty much accomplished its cause.. but now i only subsituted those drugs with another drug, and its not really helping the cause at all.

 

everlast1986

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2006, 07:24:13 PM »
smoke some weed

please stay outta the thread if u dont have anything important to contribute, thanks.

Oh sorry i'm not overeducated and feel the urge to type a five paragraph post all the time on here. Don't tell me to stay out of any public thread.

Back to the topic, quit cold turkey it works on everyone. You're not schizophrenic, and if i were a doctor i'd prescribe valium for paranoia and if that didn't work its just in your head.
 

We Fly High

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2006, 09:31:35 PM »
smoke some weed

please stay outta the thread if u dont have anything important to contribute, thanks.

Oh sorry i'm not overeducated and feel the urge to type a five paragraph post all the time on here. Don't tell me to stay out of any public thread.

Back to the topic, quit cold turkey it works on everyone. You're not schizophrenic, and if i were a doctor i'd prescribe valium for paranoia and if that didn't work its just in your head.

i'm just saying.. the topic of the thread was me trying to stop my drug problems.. and it didnt help for you to come into say "smoke weed".. if you had just said what you said in the 2nd post to quit cold turkey, then it wouldve been all good.. but when you made that statement it just made it seem that the problem was just a laughing matter to you..  but whatevers, its all good.
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #14 on: December 27, 2006, 10:14:14 PM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 
 

WestCoasta

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2006, 12:34:38 AM »
ya just stop and see how it goes after about a week and take it from there


good luck
 

WestCoasta

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2006, 12:35:23 AM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

what is it you're rambling about?   are you on drugs?
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2006, 02:10:56 AM »
That's why I don't fuck with none of it. I value my sanity and grasp of reality.
 

We Fly High

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2006, 02:27:33 AM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

what is it you're rambling about?   are you on drugs?

I guess Trauma's got me all figured out already..
« Last Edit: December 28, 2006, 02:34:35 AM by We Fly High »
 

Don Seer

Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2006, 02:27:45 AM »
^ yeah.. thats why i stopped with that shit...

i was in a similar situation to justin.. just walk away from that shit.. i know people who do loads of drugs.. the only ones still doing drugs are the less intelligent ones.. but.. they're all VERY manic personalities now.. i can't even stand being around them.. they're like umm.. hyper over reactive.. i also know of someone full blown shizo (she was mad into LSD).. and she can't even leave the house right now.. luckily her b/fs stood by her
 

Chief

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #20 on: December 28, 2006, 07:04:48 AM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

without drugs/drug addicts alot of incredible shit wouldn't have happen.

and some people cant help being drug addicts, some people will try them, have fun and move on, others aren't like that.

dude is worried about his mind state, your rambling wouldn't help him out one bit.
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #21 on: December 28, 2006, 08:57:23 AM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

shutup you dumb piece of shit
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2006, 10:05:37 AM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

shutup you dumb piece of shit
co-sign, fuck the cracker
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #23 on: December 28, 2006, 01:36:09 PM »
Anybody who's a habitual drug abuser is a fucking idiot.  If you're so stupid that you didn't catch, oh, everybody from the president's wife on down to the bum on the fucking CORNER telling you that drugs are a bad idea, I really don't give a fuck if you o.d. and die from it.  You eventually need to grow the fuck up, and do what it takes to live a good life where you're an addition to society instead of a detriment.  That sounds like some kind of goody two shoes bullshit but think about it.  What good are you?  Nothing to anybody unless you're actively TRYING to be something... be a fucking man and stop acting like a child with this immediate gratification shit.  Nobody gives a fuck if drugs fucked your head up, the only thing we care about is when you actually start doing something positive.  Who cares if your life is fucked up?  Nobody.  If you want something in life, do something about it, call me up when you want to complain that you only raised 10 million dollars for charity this year and not the 20 million you were shooting for, now *THAT* would be something to be concerned about. 

shutup you dumb piece of shit
co-sign, fuck the cracker

Fuck ALL crackers, especially Jeremy.
 

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Re: Drugs and Paranoia and Schizophrenia, please discuss.
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2006, 10:05:03 PM »
lol children.  Who gives a fuck about a drug addict?  What does it hurt the world if you die?  Anything short of your death SURELY doesn't matter to anybody, and yet you want to ask for advice and want people to tell you whether or not you should do drugs.  Get a fucking clue.  People like Mother Theresa need help, you need no help.  God helps those who help themselves.  Stumble at something important and then maybe somebody will give a fuck and lend you a hand.