I Gots A Serious Problem

[Dubz]

yo man just try and expose yourself to new shit. for example, today i couldnt find any of my homies toward the end of the day at school, so i went and sat down at a table with these two chicks who i didnt really know that well. by the end of it i had one of their numbers and she was takin pictures of herself on my phone. so just expose yourself, be easy, and try to spark up some conversation. if its easier, heres three things to focus on: be confident. dont overthink what youre saying. and dont overrextend yourself: its cool to kick some conversation, but dont be like abnoxiously engagin and shit. if you just chill and let a conversation flow, but still be active in it, it should be all good. lol sorry to preach to you, but thats just some advice for you.

But that also depends where you're from. You can't just be out there expecting to meet new friends to everybody you come up too. Mothafuckas like to start shit all the time.

i didnt say go up to strangers. i said, if you know people, but not that well, just try choppin it up with them. i didnt say go conversate with anyone you come up to, either. read the post.

Oh ok sorry. Don't shoot me

lol sorry if i came off mad on that, i didnt mean it like that.

[MontrealCity's Most]

First of all i think you need to accept yourself the way you are. DOnt beat yourself over it. I think thats key. You should look foward to the job at Footlocker, take it one step at a time, bad days or akward situations will probably happen. Take the little good things of youre day and the bad well instead of beating yourself over it or thiking of eays to change em accept em and change will come without you noticing.

Im a confident guy who talks to strangers but i also have my days were i totaly lack confidence and feel like shit i think we all do.
Its ok to be shy and be quiet, maybe in high shcool its negative or wtv by yuoll see that high shcool attitude goes away as you get older. ( i wish i could believe that myself as i still think of people like that tho )

[jeromechickenbone]

QT - Are you scared of what people may think of you if you talk to them?  Or what exactly is the deal?  Is it complete strangers that you struggle with, or more of people you see daily but yet don't speak to?

I went through shit like that back in the day, when I transferred to a new school all the way across the country.  Didn't know anybody, was pretty different from everybody, and all I wanted to do was fit in.  I was very shy, never speaking unless spoken to.  Now this might sound funny, but I can tell you a way that I started to get over it.

You say your teacher thanked you for reading in front of the class.  Volunteer to do that shit some more - it'll give you practice speaking in front of lots of people, being the center of attention, but at the same time you don't have to worry about what you're saying because it's all written in the book.  You don't have to think on your feet and worry about a cool or funny thing to say, you're just reciting some shit.  Also, if a teacher asks a question that you know the answer to, speak up.  This shit may sound corny as hell, but it works.  You're not really conversing, you're basically answering a question with somebody else taking the lead.  If you do this enough and are on the right track when you answer, you'll begin to see that you're just as smart and cool as everybody and not get soooo worked up about interacting with people.

But just know that you're not gonna get over it unless you practice.  If you go to McDonalds, just say whats up / how's it going / good morning / how are you to the cashier or something.  You don't have to have deep meaningful conversation to get practice.  All you need is the interaction and to show yourself that it's actually very easy to do.  Once you got the hang of the quick convo / building a rapport you can build from there. 

But like I said, bottom line, you just gotta initiate small simple convo with some random people.  If it's random people, who cares about them?  You'll never see them again, they mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of your life.  Use those motherfuckers to develop your skills.  After some practice you'll see that you built it up so much in your mind when in reality it's really simple.  Trust me man, i've been there.  Just practice practice practice.  Peace

[Sparegeez]

Say hi and how you doing to people walking down the street.

[Smoke Break]

Jrome and Bananas gave the best advice you're probly gonna get on here so listen to them.  But I'd guess you're an introspective type, I think that could have a little to do with it, you can't focus so much on what you're doing or what somebody's thinking, I remember you said you didn't used to be like this; i'm sure that you had a bunch of friends to bullshit with back home and after the move you were by yourself a lot more? Just like anything you can start to lose your skills in something if you don't ever use them; like talking to people you aren't overly familiar with. For example, a comedian has to know about something to make a joke out of it, a lot of time we use what we know about someone to talk with them; so talking with a stranger is a little different and might feel like it.

[swangin and bangin]

get hella high before u go out.

[MontrealCity's Most]

get hella high before u go out.

that will only make the problem worse

[XaNdEr]

Now I know nobody wants to hear a niggas problem and I know there was a topic made about this just a few weeks ago but a nigga is in need deep.

Nobody likes to hear bitchin' and whinin' but a brother needs some help. And I don't wanna sound repetitive and I'm sorry that I'm gon do this again. I'm aware this ain't counseling or therapy, Lol, but any help is great.

When I'm out in public, or basicly away from my home out of my 'territory' the kid ain't social, ya know, at all. And it's gettin' to the point where I just can't fuckin' take it.

I went to the mall a lil while ago and walked into FootLocker and the girl who works there goes to my school and it was real weird becuz I was able to talk to her more than I was able to in school. But don't get it twisted it ain't the ladies I have a problem wit, it's just, I don't know, all people. It feels different when you crushin' a girl and talkin' to her becuz, I don't know, its just different, and anyways I'm sittin' there talkin' to the girl and I just can't do it 'right', like my social skill is low as possible. Now the problem is that in a few more weeks I'm gon be applyin' for FootLocker but if my social skill is low as fuck, how in the hell am I going to work there? Will that improve it or just makes it worse? That's what I'm dyin' to know.

It's like when I'm in school it's 'I don't give a fuck'. I don't socialize wit alot of other niggas. But when I get home and I'm outside it's like I'm regular, Lol. It's real weird.

Today the teacher was like sayin' 'Thank you, thank you' becuz I read out loud some shit for her to write down on the board. And I'm thinkin' this bitch is fuckin' crazy. Like she don't know me. Like the way I talk on here, dubcc, is how I do it at home and when I'm hangin' outside. And it's funny cuz if I was to meet any of ya'll in real life I wouldn't be quiet at all. Weird.

Don't get me wrong becuz I'm not this nerdy lil nigga who doesnt speak. I hang wit the tight niggas but I just am not 'loud'.

I apologize this is so fuckin' long but the nigga had to vent, Lol. I wanted ya'll to get an understanding cuz I just really really want to know when this will go away becuz I'm starting to get scurred.

If you get what I'm sayin' please drop a lil sumtin'. I really appreciate it. Really I do.

i got the same, kinda, when im in a spot outside my regular *territory* im just not as social as i would be normally, i dunno why....but your story, it sounds kinda familiar, guess im not the only one

[Mac 10 †]

maaaaaan dont trip about foot locker. it wont do nothin but improve your skills.

^^ that's right.

Also remember that initiating the conversation is half the battle.

So if you're working with these people it'll make life a hell of a lot easier.

[Mac 10 †]

Lol, is this why you are called QuietTruth? 

[QuietTruth]

^ 

Yo, to all of you who replied, and took your time to type out advice, thank ya'll so much. I really appreciate it and I WILL soak up all the advice. Thanks for just spittin' your knowledge, it's all beyond appreciation. For real!

[MontrealCity's Most]

all good homie, you seem like a real down to earth dude with a god sense of humour.

[QuietTruth]

^ You know you a pimp.

[herpes]

a lot of what you're going thru right now is just growing pains. And to get to the point of where you want to be socially its going to be a slow tedious process but you will get there.  But you should get a job, b/c it will force you to be outgoing in situations you normally would be quiet in.  That will really help you out a lot b/c I was in the same boat when I was 16-17 except I was really really fucked up lol.  well i hope this helped a little bit.

[QuietTruth]

^ Of course. Propz for respondin'!