Would you date a girl with a kid?

[Sikotic™]

I dont even know why I'm asking dubcc for any fuckin advice, but im at my wits end with this shit. this girl i met is great all around. great looks ( reminds me of beyonce), great body, i can open up with her more than any other woman ive ever been involved with on a mental level. only problem is i found out she has a 3 year old son. ive talked to her about it and she doesn't really want me to be involved with the kid (im not ready for anything liek that at this stage in my life anyways) but the whole situation is just something new to me. i feel bad because of her situation and she's really into me but im at a complete loss on whether i should pursue a relationship or not. should i give it a shot or leave her alone for good because i dont wanna drag this on and hurt her.

ive asked others that are close with me on what i should do, but honestly, their advice isn't sitting well with me. some tell me to just stop answering her calls and hanging out with her while others tell me to go ahead and see what happens. i dont wanna completely ignore her because i enjoy talking to her and spending time with her which is the main reason im in this dilemma. if it was just some dumb hoodrat then i wouldnt give a shit, but shes not.

the only reason im coming here with the situation is to get some more opinions and feedback eventhough it probably wont help. anyways, any serious input would be nice. this entire situation has been torturing me. maybe im just being a pussy, but usually i can dump a girl and go about my business not giving a fuck, but this one is different.

anyways, ill appreciate the opinions and advice.

[ecrazy]

keep doing what you have been doing, everything should progress naturally, your already talking to her and liking it, just keep doing it, keep progressing, fuck what everyone else says, your just doing what you have been doing since the beginning.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

It seems you really like the girl, but I'm a little confused as to what the problem is. If you like each other and she isn't presssuring you about her kid, then you should at least give it a shot and see what happens. If she's as nice as you describe her she definatly seem worth the try. In the end if your not paying to help her get by, then you don't have much to lose compared to if you didn't do anything at all.

[Floydness]

You should follow your heart, if you feel good with this girl and you two have a good connection like no other girl had with you than you shouldnt let her son be the only thing standing in your way. Besides, your not going to be the kids new daddy... I say go for it and whatever happens happens.. but you shouldnt ditch her if you like the girl. Give it a shot and good luck...

[reguLAtor]

You already sound like you know what you want to do homie.  You don't need anyone's approval to do it.  It's not a big deal until you make it a big deal, so just roll with it and do what you think is right.

[ecrazy]

I know you have that "Leykes 101" Mentality thats tearing you, well that dude's a fuckup himself, he dont know what he's talking about, he's just enteraining, no one knows until they attempt it. so do it, Nike

[Sikotic™]

it may be stupid, but the idea of being with a woman that has a kid is just kinda awkward. its not that i give a fuck what anyone thinks about me for prusuing a woman with a kid, im just worried about what the future holds. i could see myself being with her long term (if not i wouldnt be in this predicament) and if the relationship progresses to that level, i know the whole dynamics with the kid are gonna change and she may want me to be involved with him. i just dont see myself being prepared with a situation like that for another 5-10 years once my career is finally off the ground.

honestly, i dunno where my head is at. my mind is moving at a million miles a minute. i swear only a woman can do this to me this is why for so long ive tried not to get involved with a woman unless it was strictly physical lol.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

this is why for so long ive tried not to get involved with a woman unless it was strictly physical lol.

If only.

[Sikotic™]

I know you have that "Leykes 101" Mentality thats tearing you, well that dude's a fuckup himself, he dont know what he's talking about, he's just enteraining, no one knows until they attempt it. so do it, Nike

nah, that aint even a factor. i listen to that shit on the way home for pure entertainment.

its just a touchy situation and im trying not to be selfish. after talking to her, she's had a lot of bad situations when its come to men (thats one reason she's a single mother) and i just dont wanna add to any pain she's already had.

just wanna thank everyone again for the advice though. i really appreciate it.

[J @ M @ L]

So your main concern is you having to be involved with the kid in the future? What exactly do you mean when you say she might want you to be involved with him? She's not gonna expect you to assume the father role and take care of the kid, so what do you think she is gonna want?

[Sikotic™]

she's saying that now, but who knows what the future holds and whether she'll change her mind or not. regardless, the kid is naturally a very important part of her life so i dont see how i would not build a relationship with him since im around his mom all the time. i dont want the kid to get attached to me and then if things dont work out, im gone. ive seen how that affects a kid when different men or women are in and out of their lives due to relationships with their parents and it only fucks them up.

so basically the thing that's bothering me is that selfishly i wanna be with this girl, but unselfishly i dont wanna hurt anybody in the event that things just dont work out.

[J @ M @ L]

That's a pretty tough situation... I guess it all depends on how you're viewing the potential of the relationship... if you truly believe that there's potential for her to be wifey then I'd say give it a shot, if shit doesn't work out then oh well, you didn't do anything fucked up, your intentions were good, and shit just happened not to work out.. which is just a part of life.

[Chief]

man you dont know what the future holds... live for the moment.

[Soulful]

thats nice of you thinkin about the kids feelings as well..i cant tell u what to do really. if i was in love with her and felt i really found someone special i would give it a shot, good luck bro

[STILLDRE IS THE GODFATHER]

im not very good with advice i cant hold a relationship longer than a few months but just a few question to try and help you  if you like her then it doesnt matter she has a kid but if her having a kid puts you off her then you need to make a decision do you like /love her that much

just ask yourself these question

can you see a future with you and her and the kid or just you and her

could you raise/ treat the kid as he was you own

ive never been in a situation like this gotta be hard man REMEMBER THIS I LIVE MY THIS SAYING if all the advice gets you more confused listen to your self