Author Topic: Would you date a girl with a kid?  (Read 323 times)

Sikotic™

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Would you date a girl with a kid?
« on: February 28, 2007, 01:14:19 AM »
I dont even know why I'm asking dubcc for any fuckin advice, but im at my wits end with this shit. this girl i met is great all around. great looks ( reminds me of beyonce), great body, i can open up with her more than any other woman ive ever been involved with on a mental level. only problem is i found out she has a 3 year old son. ive talked to her about it and she doesn't really want me to be involved with the kid (im not ready for anything liek that at this stage in my life anyways) but the whole situation is just something new to me. i feel bad because of her situation and she's really into me but im at a complete loss on whether i should pursue a relationship or not. should i give it a shot or leave her alone for good because i dont wanna drag this on and hurt her.

ive asked others that are close with me on what i should do, but honestly, their advice isn't sitting well with me. some tell me to just stop answering her calls and hanging out with her while others tell me to go ahead and see what happens. i dont wanna completely ignore her because i enjoy talking to her and spending time with her which is the main reason im in this dilemma. if it was just some dumb hoodrat then i wouldnt give a shit, but shes not.

the only reason im coming here with the situation is to get some more opinions and feedback eventhough it probably wont help. anyways, any serious input would be nice. this entire situation has been torturing me. maybe im just being a pussy, but usually i can dump a girl and go about my business not giving a fuck, but this one is different.

anyways, ill appreciate the opinions and advice.
 

ecrazy

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2007, 01:20:27 AM »
keep doing what you have been doing, everything should progress naturally, your already talking to her and liking it, just keep doing it, keep progressing, fuck what everyone else says, your just doing what you have been doing since the beginning.
 

Teddy Roosevelt

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2007, 01:21:11 AM »
It seems you really like the girl, but I'm a little confused as to what the problem is. If you like each other and she isn't presssuring you about her kid, then you should at least give it a shot and see what happens. If she's as nice as you describe her she definatly seem worth the try. In the end if your not paying to help her get by, then you don't have much to lose compared to if you didn't do anything at all.
 

Floydness

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2007, 01:24:57 AM »
You should follow your heart, if you feel good with this girl and you two have a good connection like no other girl had with you than you shouldnt let her son be the only thing standing in your way. Besides, your not going to be the kids new daddy... I say go for it and whatever happens happens.. but you shouldnt ditch her if you like the girl. Give it a shot and good luck... :)
 

reguLAtor

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2007, 01:24:57 AM »
You already sound like you know what you want to do homie.  You don't need anyone's approval to do it.  It's not a big deal until you make it a big deal, so just roll with it and do what you think is right.
 

ecrazy

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2007, 01:28:13 AM »
I know you have that "Leykes 101" Mentality thats tearing you, well that dude's a fuckup himself, he dont know what he's talking about, he's just enteraining, no one knows until they attempt it. so do it, Nike
 

Sikotic™

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2007, 01:30:12 AM »
it may be stupid, but the idea of being with a woman that has a kid is just kinda awkward. its not that i give a fuck what anyone thinks about me for prusuing a woman with a kid, im just worried about what the future holds. i could see myself being with her long term (if not i wouldnt be in this predicament) and if the relationship progresses to that level, i know the whole dynamics with the kid are gonna change and she may want me to be involved with him. i just dont see myself being prepared with a situation like that for another 5-10 years once my career is finally off the ground.

honestly, i dunno where my head is at. my mind is moving at a million miles a minute. i swear only a woman can do this to me this is why for so long ive tried not to get involved with a woman unless it was strictly physical lol.
 

Teddy Roosevelt

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2007, 01:32:00 AM »
this is why for so long ive tried not to get involved with a woman unless it was strictly physical lol.
If only. :(
 

Sikotic™

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2007, 01:36:13 AM »
I know you have that "Leykes 101" Mentality thats tearing you, well that dude's a fuckup himself, he dont know what he's talking about, he's just enteraining, no one knows until they attempt it. so do it, Nike
nah, that aint even a factor. i listen to that shit on the way home for pure entertainment.

its just a touchy situation and im trying not to be selfish. after talking to her, she's had a lot of bad situations when its come to men (thats one reason she's a single mother) and i just dont wanna add to any pain she's already had.

just wanna thank everyone again for the advice though. i really appreciate it.
 

J @ M @ L

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2007, 01:40:58 AM »
So your main concern is you having to be involved with the kid in the future? What exactly do you mean when you say she might want you to be involved with him? She's not gonna expect you to assume the father role and take care of the kid, so what do you think she is gonna want?
my throat hurts, its hard to swallow, and my body feels like i got a serious ass beating.

LOL @ this fudgepacker
 

Sikotic™

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2007, 01:49:36 AM »
she's saying that now, but who knows what the future holds and whether she'll change her mind or not. regardless, the kid is naturally a very important part of her life so i dont see how i would not build a relationship with him since im around his mom all the time. i dont want the kid to get attached to me and then if things dont work out, im gone. ive seen how that affects a kid when different men or women are in and out of their lives due to relationships with their parents and it only fucks them up.

so basically the thing that's bothering me is that selfishly i wanna be with this girl, but unselfishly i dont wanna hurt anybody in the event that things just dont work out.
 

J @ M @ L

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2007, 01:53:42 AM »
That's a pretty tough situation... I guess it all depends on how you're viewing the potential of the relationship... if you truly believe that there's potential for her to be wifey then I'd say give it a shot, if shit doesn't work out then oh well, you didn't do anything fucked up, your intentions were good, and shit just happened not to work out.. which is just a part of life.
my throat hurts, its hard to swallow, and my body feels like i got a serious ass beating.

LOL @ this fudgepacker
 

Chief

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2007, 02:10:19 AM »
man you dont know what the future holds... live for the moment.
 

Soulful

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2007, 03:46:34 AM »
thats nice of you thinkin about the kids feelings as well..i cant tell u what to do really. if i was in love with her and felt i really found someone special i would give it a shot, good luck bro

 

STILLDRE IS THE GODFATHER

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #14 on: February 28, 2007, 04:57:03 AM »
im not very good with advice i cant hold a relationship longer than a few months but just a few question to try and help you  if you like her then it doesnt matter she has a kid but if her having a kid puts you off her then you need to make a decision do you like /love her that much

just ask yourself these question

can you see a future with you and her and the kid or just you and her

could you raise/ treat the kid as he was you own

ive never been in a situation like this gotta be hard man REMEMBER THIS I LIVE MY THIS SAYING if all the advice gets you more confused listen to your self



there is hope


"Don't give up. Don't ever give up. "
 

JMan

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #15 on: February 28, 2007, 06:31:29 AM »
Ive never been in the situation like yours, but i have fucked a bird whos had a kid and that was pretty wierd to tell the truth.. end of the day i guess is do you see yourself with her in a long run? hard question to ask yourself when youve got feelings for someone but remember it isnt just you n her, child will always get pirority.

Lake Titicaca

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #16 on: February 28, 2007, 09:36:48 AM »
NO
 

Low Key

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #17 on: February 28, 2007, 11:39:38 AM »
I know a couple girls with kids, and given the opportunity, I would go out with them only because I have known them both before they had their kids and they are both cool females.

If you want to date the girl, go right ahead, but be prepared to get to know her REAL well before you get into anything serious. You don't need a psycho bitch with a kid on your back. And also be prepared to make your schedule around the child.
 

QuietTruth

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #18 on: February 28, 2007, 12:56:50 PM »
she's saying that now, but who knows what the future holds and whether she'll change her mind or not. regardless, the kid is naturally a very important part of her life so i dont see how i would not build a relationship with him since im around his mom all the time. i dont want the kid to get attached to me and then if things dont work out, im gone. ive seen how that affects a kid when different men or women are in and out of their lives due to relationships with their parents and it only fucks them up.

so basically the thing that's bothering me is that selfishly i wanna be with this girl, but unselfishly i dont wanna hurt anybody in the event that things just dont work out.

Yeah but who know's where your mind will be at in the future?

Ya'll just starting out now word? And she doesn't want you involved wit the kid and you don't wanna be involved wit the kid, at this point....BUT since you keep sayin' how she might change in the future about gettin' with this kid maybe you might change too, word?

You never know.

Course, we all say we aren't ready for something at the moment, never know what the future holds though. At any time along the road and ya'll are really close with each other, maybe you might feel like you could get involved with this kid. Who the fuck knows though. Just go for it man. Do what chu feel.
 

Now_Im_Not_Banned

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #19 on: February 28, 2007, 01:01:27 PM »
You need to learn to go based on instincts and then everything will fall into place. You don't need to know how it will happen, just that it eventually will...Not as tough as your mind is making it out to be...PeACe
 

ABN

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #20 on: February 28, 2007, 01:18:38 PM »
iīve done it and itīs hard. this was like a year ago and before that iīve always said that i would never do it and after it iīve also said that iīm not gonna do it again. but the thing is that her kid was around a lot so i got a little attached coz the kid was just adorable and thatīs what made it fucked up when we parted ways coz her daughter doesnīt understand why iīm not around no more and i really like the kid. but i canīt see myself dating someone with a kid again coz itīs extremely easy to get attached to their kids and vice versa. and if you got emotionally attached like that you start to take care of the kid like itīs your own+spending a lot of money and shit like that. but i say that you should give it a shot but if itīs not working out then get the fuck out of the relationship ASAP.
 

QuietTruth

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #21 on: February 28, 2007, 01:21:25 PM »
^ Yeah, that's hard. That's something you don't want to do. And it's shocking that this chick doesn't want you to get involed, Sik. I guess it's a good thang though.
 

Sikotic™

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2007, 03:03:26 PM »
iīve done it and itīs hard. this was like a year ago and before that iīve always said that i would never do it and after it iīve also said that iīm not gonna do it again. but the thing is that her kid was around a lot so i got a little attached coz the kid was just adorable and thatīs what made it fucked up when we parted ways coz her daughter doesnīt understand why iīm not around no more and i really like the kid. but i canīt see myself dating someone with a kid again coz itīs extremely easy to get attached to their kids and vice versa. and if you got emotionally attached like that you start to take care of the kid like itīs your own+spending a lot of money and shit like that. but i say that you should give it a shot but if itīs not working out then get the fuck out of the relationship ASAP.
That's exactly what my concern is all about. I don't wanna become attached to the kid, he becomes attached to me, and before you know it, he's wondering where I'm at.

Everyone makes a good point in here. I talked to her for a couple hours about everything. I was just completely honest with how I felt about the situation and she seemed to understand too. As corny as it sounds, I'm gonna "follow my heart" instead of thinking so much about the future, and take it from there.
 

jeromechickenbone

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #23 on: February 28, 2007, 04:38:58 PM »
You're obviously a conscienable dude, or you wouldn't be thinking twice about what you're doing.  So you'll probably be alright regardless.  As for my personal opinion, I don't ever see myself getting serious with any female that has a kid.  I'd be on some booty call type shit but that's where it ends.  Her having a kid introduces sooo many potential issues just walking into the relationship, let alone the regular stresses of a relationship. 

To me, it's just way too much.  The one who really gets fucked in the situation is the kid, because regardless of what she says, the kid is gonna be looking for some kinda father figure and is gonna latch on to you like a motherfucker.  I honestly think it's shitty for any woman to expose her child to her boyfriends and shit. 

IF I ever have a kid, I want it to be mine and go through that experience.  I wouldn't want to be responsible for what someone else did.  I also know that I'm not tryin to have family picnics and shit.  You don't want to have to work EVERYTHING out around the kid.  It's just all hassle in my opinion.

So for me, I wouldn't date a girl with a kid.  Just too much stress when you could easily be in another relationship and never have to think about shit like that.  Good luck man.
 

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2007, 05:13:41 PM »
depends how fuckin hot she is