Author Topic: Would you date a girl with a kid?  (Read 512 times)

JMan

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #15 on: February 28, 2007, 05:31:29 AM »
Ive never been in the situation like yours, but i have fucked a bird whos had a kid and that was pretty wierd to tell the truth.. end of the day i guess is do you see yourself with her in a long run? hard question to ask yourself when youve got feelings for someone but remember it isnt just you n her, child will always get pirority.

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #16 on: February 28, 2007, 08:36:48 AM »
NO
 

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #17 on: February 28, 2007, 10:39:38 AM »
I know a couple girls with kids, and given the opportunity, I would go out with them only because I have known them both before they had their kids and they are both cool females.

If you want to date the girl, go right ahead, but be prepared to get to know her REAL well before you get into anything serious. You don't need a psycho bitch with a kid on your back. And also be prepared to make your schedule around the child.
 

QuietTruth

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #18 on: February 28, 2007, 11:56:50 AM »
she's saying that now, but who knows what the future holds and whether she'll change her mind or not. regardless, the kid is naturally a very important part of her life so i dont see how i would not build a relationship with him since im around his mom all the time. i dont want the kid to get attached to me and then if things dont work out, im gone. ive seen how that affects a kid when different men or women are in and out of their lives due to relationships with their parents and it only fucks them up.

so basically the thing that's bothering me is that selfishly i wanna be with this girl, but unselfishly i dont wanna hurt anybody in the event that things just dont work out.

Yeah but who know's where your mind will be at in the future?

Ya'll just starting out now word? And she doesn't want you involved wit the kid and you don't wanna be involved wit the kid, at this point....BUT since you keep sayin' how she might change in the future about gettin' with this kid maybe you might change too, word?

You never know.

Course, we all say we aren't ready for something at the moment, never know what the future holds though. At any time along the road and ya'll are really close with each other, maybe you might feel like you could get involved with this kid. Who the fuck knows though. Just go for it man. Do what chu feel.
 

Now_Im_Not_Banned

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #19 on: February 28, 2007, 12:01:27 PM »
You need to learn to go based on instincts and then everything will fall into place. You don't need to know how it will happen, just that it eventually will...Not as tough as your mind is making it out to be...PeACe
 

ABN

Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #20 on: February 28, 2007, 12:18:38 PM »
iīve done it and itīs hard. this was like a year ago and before that iīve always said that i would never do it and after it iīve also said that iīm not gonna do it again. but the thing is that her kid was around a lot so i got a little attached coz the kid was just adorable and thatīs what made it fucked up when we parted ways coz her daughter doesnīt understand why iīm not around no more and i really like the kid. but i canīt see myself dating someone with a kid again coz itīs extremely easy to get attached to their kids and vice versa. and if you got emotionally attached like that you start to take care of the kid like itīs your own+spending a lot of money and shit like that. but i say that you should give it a shot but if itīs not working out then get the fuck out of the relationship ASAP.
 

QuietTruth

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #21 on: February 28, 2007, 12:21:25 PM »
^ Yeah, that's hard. That's something you don't want to do. And it's shocking that this chick doesn't want you to get involed, Sik. I guess it's a good thang though.
 

Sikotic™

Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2007, 02:03:26 PM »
iīve done it and itīs hard. this was like a year ago and before that iīve always said that i would never do it and after it iīve also said that iīm not gonna do it again. but the thing is that her kid was around a lot so i got a little attached coz the kid was just adorable and thatīs what made it fucked up when we parted ways coz her daughter doesnīt understand why iīm not around no more and i really like the kid. but i canīt see myself dating someone with a kid again coz itīs extremely easy to get attached to their kids and vice versa. and if you got emotionally attached like that you start to take care of the kid like itīs your own+spending a lot of money and shit like that. but i say that you should give it a shot but if itīs not working out then get the fuck out of the relationship ASAP.
That's exactly what my concern is all about. I don't wanna become attached to the kid, he becomes attached to me, and before you know it, he's wondering where I'm at.

Everyone makes a good point in here. I talked to her for a couple hours about everything. I was just completely honest with how I felt about the situation and she seemed to understand too. As corny as it sounds, I'm gonna "follow my heart" instead of thinking so much about the future, and take it from there.
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jeromechickenbone

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #23 on: February 28, 2007, 03:38:58 PM »
You're obviously a conscienable dude, or you wouldn't be thinking twice about what you're doing.  So you'll probably be alright regardless.  As for my personal opinion, I don't ever see myself getting serious with any female that has a kid.  I'd be on some booty call type shit but that's where it ends.  Her having a kid introduces sooo many potential issues just walking into the relationship, let alone the regular stresses of a relationship. 

To me, it's just way too much.  The one who really gets fucked in the situation is the kid, because regardless of what she says, the kid is gonna be looking for some kinda father figure and is gonna latch on to you like a motherfucker.  I honestly think it's shitty for any woman to expose her child to her boyfriends and shit. 

IF I ever have a kid, I want it to be mine and go through that experience.  I wouldn't want to be responsible for what someone else did.  I also know that I'm not tryin to have family picnics and shit.  You don't want to have to work EVERYTHING out around the kid.  It's just all hassle in my opinion.

So for me, I wouldn't date a girl with a kid.  Just too much stress when you could easily be in another relationship and never have to think about shit like that.  Good luck man.
 

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2007, 04:13:41 PM »
depends how fuckin hot she is

$Eg2$

Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2007, 04:55:26 PM »
Girl with kids = they FUCK  8) 8) 8)
 

IKON

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2007, 05:34:11 PM »
Wow, I haven't posted here in what seems to be years but sometimes I browse and see whats up. I am so busy in my life now but this post just grabbed my attention, why??????

Because I was in your situation and went for it. I speak to you from experience.

I met my girl almost 3 years ago. I met her at school. I found out she had a little daughter 3yrs. old at the time. Of course we started out as friends and I never saw anything serious with her but then things changed drastically. I mean I had always avoided girls with kids and everyone had always told me to do the same but it was so different with her. We clicked on another level immediately and of course we became so close and the "L" word quickly followed.

My girl is no hoodrat or hoochie, she is a wonderful girl, wifey material. She just met the wrong guy first before me ;D ;D ;D. Here are a couple things you have to consider or look forward too if you choose to pursue anything serious with her..

You have to be really mature about the situation since it involves a child(you are because you already are thinking about not hurting her or the child, I give you major props for that). I was 25 when I met my girl and she was 23.

 Its great that shes not a hoodrat and has respect for herself. As you can see from some of the immature comments on this thread
Girl with kids = they FUCK  8) 8) 8)
the stereotype about girls with kids is that they are easy and hoes.In fact most guys I know just pursue them for that reason. I mean some can be but they are others like my girl who ended up with the wrong person. You really have to get to know her before making any type of move.

Is she a good mother??? If she is then her child will always come first no matter what. Are you prepared to understand and accept that. Never try to come in between them especially if she loves her son. You will find yourself alone no doubt. No good mother will ever choose a man over her own child believe me. My girl is a wonderful mother and I have never ever tried to come in between her and her daughter. If I did I would be single right now. From what I read she is a good mother since she doesnt want you to be involved with her son right now. I didnt meet my girls daughter until 1 year into our relationship can you believe that??? Well its because she has to be real careful about who she brings around her child. If the day comes that she wants you to have something to do with the child then that definitely means she thinks seriously of you.

Depending on her past experience with men be ready for some trials and tribulations. My girl had a terrible first relationship and lost trust and hope in guys but then she met me. I have now changed her mind but at first it was so so so hard. Move slowly its the best way.

Do you like children??? Well you better since you might be a stepdad in the future. Ever since I met my girl I always went out of my way to buy her little daughter birthday and Christmas gifts. Believe me it shows alot to her.

Honestly there is so much more but I guess you have to experience it yourself. I hope I havent pushed you away from anything serious with this girl but you know she could be the one. I just bought an engagement ring for my girl so that tells you how serious Iam in my relationship. Think about it seriously before you go ahead with any decision just know that it aint easy and it takes so much patience and maturity. One advantage you do have is you get to see how good of a mother she is. That gives you so much incentive to see if one day you marry her how she will treat your child.

Good Luck



« Last Edit: February 28, 2007, 05:41:16 PM by IKON »
 

QuietTruth

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2007, 05:45:04 PM »
Just don't blame the kid for a reason to not get wit a girl? Ya feel me? It ain't their fault. I can't image the decision ya'll have to go thru when deciding whether this is a good idea or not, but I wish ya'll luck man.
 

Sikotic™

Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #28 on: February 28, 2007, 06:47:24 PM »
Wow, I haven't posted here in what seems to be years but sometimes I browse and see whats up. I am so busy in my life now but this post just grabbed my attention, why??????

Because I was in your situation and went for it. I speak to you from experience.

I met my girl almost 3 years ago. I met her at school. I found out she had a little daughter 3yrs. old at the time. Of course we started out as friends and I never saw anything serious with her but then things changed drastically. I mean I had always avoided girls with kids and everyone had always told me to do the same but it was so different with her. We clicked on another level immediately and of course we became so close and the "L" word quickly followed.

My girl is no hoodrat or hoochie, she is a wonderful girl, wifey material. She just met the wrong guy first before me ;D ;D ;D. Here are a couple things you have to consider or look forward too if you choose to pursue anything serious with her..

You have to be really mature about the situation since it involves a child(you are because you already are thinking about not hurting her or the child, I give you major props for that). I was 25 when I met my girl and she was 23.

 Its great that shes not a hoodrat and has respect for herself. As you can see from some of the immature comments on this thread
Girl with kids = they FUCK  8) 8) 8)
the stereotype about girls with kids is that they are easy and hoes.In fact most guys I know just pursue them for that reason. I mean some can be but they are others like my girl who ended up with the wrong person. You really have to get to know her before making any type of move.

Is she a good mother??? If she is then her child will always come first no matter what. Are you prepared to understand and accept that. Never try to come in between them especially if she loves her son. You will find yourself alone no doubt. No good mother will ever choose a man over her own child believe me. My girl is a wonderful mother and I have never ever tried to come in between her and her daughter. If I did I would be single right now. From what I read she is a good mother since she doesnt want you to be involved with her son right now. I didnt meet my girls daughter until 1 year into our relationship can you believe that??? Well its because she has to be real careful about who she brings around her child. If the day comes that she wants you to have something to do with the child then that definitely means she thinks seriously of you.

Depending on her past experience with men be ready for some trials and tribulations. My girl had a terrible first relationship and lost trust and hope in guys but then she met me. I have now changed her mind but at first it was so so so hard. Move slowly its the best way.

Do you like children??? Well you better since you might be a stepdad in the future. Ever since I met my girl I always went out of my way to buy her little daughter birthday and Christmas gifts. Believe me it shows alot to her.

Honestly there is so much more but I guess you have to experience it yourself. I hope I havent pushed you away from anything serious with this girl but you know she could be the one. I just bought an engagement ring for my girl so that tells you how serious Iam in my relationship. Think about it seriously before you go ahead with any decision just know that it aint easy and it takes so much patience and maturity. One advantage you do have is you get to see how good of a mother she is. That gives you so much incentive to see if one day you marry her how she will treat your child.

Good Luck




Thanks for the insight man. That helped me put a lot fo things into perspective. I believe she's a good mother, but of course I gotta see how she interacts with her son more. I know that today she had to take work off because he had a fever and couldn't go to school. I know that's gotta be rough for her since missing work = not getting paid for the day.

I like kids. I basically grew up raisig my brother and sister while my parents were working so I'm used to them. I understand that she's gonna put the kid first. I wouldn't respect a woman that didn't do that. In a way that sucks, but I understand completely.

I'm happy for you and your situation, man. Good luck with your girl. I hope everything works out for the best.

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Re: Would you date a girl with a kid?
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2007, 07:16:24 PM »
as long as the kid doesn't ask if your his dad its all good
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