You guys ever feel like...

[evan the dude]

Now, I'm gonna say this 1st and foremost. This is some deep shit, but I felt like I had to let it out somewhere...

So I'm 21. All in all, I think that I've led a somewhat good life. I was raised by my mom and grew up in Alaska. I had good influences growing up. However, now that I'm somewhat grown up, I look at the position that I'm at in life and I can honestly say that I'm not happy homies. My troubles stem from after the high school days. Back then, everything seemed perfect. I was oblivious of the concealed world of conformity that high school is. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast hanging out with all my friends, guys and girls alike. However, it wasn't until a year ago that I realized that world was a safe place that was "fun". It was a world without responsibility. A world where all you had to worry about was what you wore the next day to school, or what so and so thought about you, etc. I look back at it now, and I envy the fuck out of it. It sucks.

This is where my problem comes in. The people that were closest to me back in those days of carelessness are still with me today. Cool right? That should be a good thing? Not necessarily. Those same people that were surrounded by me are the reason I created this thread. You guys ever feel like the people that are closest to you are the people, that in the end, are the people that bring you down? That is my current predicament. Every weekend, it's "Hey Evan, come take this shot" or, "Evan, take this beer bong". I try to step away and say no, but if i don't, i get shunned. I shouldn't care, but those friends from back in high school are like family to me. As I said earlier, my mom raised me. So those guys are like my other father, as silly as that sounds. I feel like if I don't hang with them and do the things that they do (which is only drink by the way) that I'm somehow letting them down. The thing is that all of my friends out of high school that I still hang out with, called "The Group", are all successful. They all hold steady jobs and live on their own. Me myself however, am not. I worked at Quiznos for the past year on and off. A lot of the on and offing had to do with drinking.

So all in all, I made an executive decision: I plan to move in September out of Alaska to Sacramento with my dad. I feel this will be the best move for me. However, it's gonna suck leaving the people that have made me who I am. In the end though, my mind tells me that I need to. I will be back with my father, who is a very inspirational guy. This is my calling and I know I need to take it to become something in life. To everyone that actually read all the way through my spiel: thank you. I appreciate it beyond belief. I had to let all of this out...I was close to imploding haha.

 Thanks homies, and have a good night.

Evan

[Samoan Enforcer]

that sounds cool, you'll have fun in sac its nice and big and hot and ghetto. you love hip hop so it'll work. and really chop it up with pops while you're there.

[QuietTruth]

That's good that chu made a decision. AND are happy wit it. Good luck homie.

Screw the friends.

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

Now, I'm gonna say this 1st and foremost. This is some deep shit, but I felt like I had to let it out somewhere...

So I'm 21. All in all, I think that I've led a somewhat good life. I was raised by my mom and grew up in Alaska. I had good influences growing up. However, now that I'm somewhat grown up, I look at the position that I'm at in life and I can honestly say that I'm not happy homies. My troubles stem from after the high school days. Back then, everything seemed perfect. I was oblivious of the concealed world of conformity that high school is. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast hanging out with all my friends, guys and girls alike. However, it wasn't until a year ago that I realized that world was a safe place that was "fun". It was a world without responsibility. A world where all you had to worry about was what you wore the next day to school, or what so and so thought about you, etc. I look back at it now, and I envy the fuck out of it. It sucks.

This is where my problem comes in. The people that were closest to me back in those days of carelessness are still with me today. Cool right? That should be a good thing? Not necessarily. Those same people that were surrounded by me are the reason I created this thread. You guys ever feel like the people that are closest to you are the people, that in the end, are the people that bring you down? That is my current predicament. Every weekend, it's "Hey Evan, come take this shot" or, "Evan, take this beer bong". I try to step away and say no, but if i don't, i get shunned. I shouldn't care, but those friends from back in high school are like family to me. As I said earlier, my mom raised me. So those guys are like my other father, as silly as that sounds. I feel like if I don't hang with them and do the things that they do (which is only drink by the way) that I'm somehow letting them down. The thing is that all of my friends out of high school that I still hang out with, called "The Group", are all successful. They all hold steady jobs and live on their own. Me myself however, am not. I worked at Quiznos for the past year on and off. A lot of the on and offing had to do with drinking.

So all in all, I made an executive decision: I plan to move in September out of Alaska to Sacramento with my dad. I feel this will be the best move for me. However, it's gonna suck leaving the people that have made me who I am. In the end though, my mind tells me that I need to. I will be back with my father, who is a very inspirational guy. This is my calling and I know I need to take it to become something in life. To everyone that actually read all the way through my spiel: thank you. I appreciate it beyond belief. I had to let all of this out...I was close to imploding haha.

 Thanks homies, and have a good night.

Evan

Yo, I read all that and it sounds like you already figured out what path you have to take.  I wish you success.  Peace.

[Elevz]

So all you do with them is get drunk and hang out, acting stupid and all, but they're successful in life while you're not? If that's the case, something must've went wrong along the way, but it's hard to tell from your post what exactly it is. I don't know what standards you hold for these definitions you're using, so it's hard to judge for me.

I actually used to be in a somewhat similar situation some years ago. I had some friends who really kept me down - it's like they suppressed my mental development. I gradually shook them loose somewhat, but it pissed them off because I wasn't hanging out with them as much as I used to. In the end, it was all for my own good though, and I'm glad I did what I had to do.

In your situation though, it's not like you'll necessarily have to leave your friends all behind. You can still keep in contact with them, and it won't have to bother you as much as it does now. Things may only get better, I believe that. You'll be just fine in Sacremento, because with a fresh start, that's when life really kicks off! Props Evan, because that post was real.

[evan the dude]

^^^Thanks man, I really appreciate your post. It made sense.

I would've gone more in depth with my situation, and explained it more, but it would've ended up being a 4 page essay haha. I tried to condense it as much as I could. It is definitely a complicated situation. Like you said about not totally leaving my good friends, I totally feel you. At this point though, while I'm still in Fairbanks,  I know that I just need to STEP away from them and look at the whole situation from an outside perspective. Then, and only then, will I really get a grip on what I really need to do. And I feel the best way to do that is to move away from my home town and get a new aspect on things. That talk about "that's when life really kicks off" got me goin haha.

Thanks homie.


.....And to everyone that replied thank you. I read everything. It means a lot.

[Z the laidback Virus]

Well, Evan the Dude,

first of all, it's nice to see that you have figured out for yourself when and where things went wrong. That probably is the most important step.

As for your problem of responsibility, I know what you mean. When I was 17, I moved from my own sheltered town and the cosy high school I had finished to the big city where I live for 5 days a week on my own. To add to that, I went there to pursue my education to become a teacher...a responsible job indeed. I didn't start teaching from day one, but I was barely 18 when I first stood in front of a class (made up of 17 year olds!) I didn't teach regularly then, but still, I had to do it. I also had to take responsibility for my own food, my own buying what else I needed and many other things I had barely done before.

The very first day on my own,I had to go to my new school where me and 249 other freshman, none of whom I knew, were send to a camp where we had our introduction days. All of this was a great learning experience for me, not in the least because I happened to get laid for the first time during the introduction days  .

Anyways, we must all come to terms with growing up to be responsible adults at some time. And if someone doesn't, he or she will become the person that still lives with his or her parents while 42. A position none of us should hope or aim to be in.


As for my friends, all of of us went somewhere else and though we still have contact, things are more difficult then they were in the past. You do tend to grow away from each other.

[Tanjential]

Been there.

Your true friends will support you in doing what it is that is good for you. I learned this and found I had more real friends than you thought. They'll give you some friendly shit about wanting to see you more, but in the end your friends really want to see you be well off.

Also man...if I was leaving Alaska for Cali, I'd be happy no doubt. Just bring me some Alaskan Thunderfuck and I'll hook you up with some CaliMist man, we'll get blazed as fuck.

-T

[tonysmallz]

what ya doin sounds cool a change of pace, a change of location, some times cahnge is a good thing in your case it is anyway, do it man do what ya gotta do to get ya self set up for later life, ya amtes aitn goin no where u can cath emm up later when ya got ya shit straight

peace

[7even]

All a homie ever does is drag you down or screw you over. Born alone die alone.

[IRAN iz Gangsta!]

Its probably the best move you made in your life...forget friends and people u hang around with...as life goes on who knows where they'll be and if they'll be around.  So you gotta do whats best for you, if you wait on others then you'll be stuck in the same path in life FOREVER.  Being stuck in the same place with the same people makes you closed minded and less creative, you'll never take risks cuz you're in a comfort zone and all that.  So good luck to you and it might be hard at the beginning but later on in life you'll realize u made the right decision.

[evan the dude]

Thanks for all of your input guys. It really helps to hear your guys opinions/support on this! It just helps to solidify what I need to do. Much appreciated fellas. 

[jeromechickenbone]

Yeah man it sounds like you're headed in the right direction.  And you should also be proud of yourself for being conscious of what goes on around you.  I think you'll be just fine.

But I know exactly what you're going through.  When I was in high school, I had mad friends, always partying, hangin out and what not.  Then I went away to college, but I was still coming home a couple weekends a month and I'd still kick it with all the homies that were still living in our home town.  As the years went by, I went back to my hometown less and less.  I was movin on, made new friends that were also going to college and actually doing something with their life, while most of the peeps that I went to high school w/ were still living in town, still doing the EXACT same shit we were doing when we were 16/17.  And yeah they def hated on me for not kickin it w/ them.  But here I am 26 years old, got a great career and shit, still moving on to bigger and better shit - I ain't even come close to peaking yet.  And these cats are so pathetic, they're baggin the 17/18 year old broads cuz they're too imature for anyone older, gettin DUI's, doin drugs, makin minimum wage, and prolly got pennies in the bank (or less).  And a couple of them look like they're 40 years old cuz all they do is drink and smoke everyday.  These dudes peaked at 18 and it's all downhill from there.

Whats that saying? If you lay with the dogs, you're bound to get fleas?  You gots to cut these people out cuz all they're gonna do is drag you down. 

[evan the dude]

Yeah man it sounds like you're headed in the right direction.  And you should also be proud of yourself for being conscious of what goes on around you.  I think you'll be just fine.

But I know exactly what you're going through.  When I was in high school, I had mad friends, always partying, hangin out and what not.  Then I went away to college, but I was still coming home a couple weekends a month and I'd still kick it with all the homies that were still living in our home town.  As the years went by, I went back to my hometown less and less.  I was movin on, made new friends that were also going to college and actually doing something with their life, while most of the peeps that I went to high school w/ were still living in town, still doing the EXACT same shit we were doing when we were 16/17.  And yeah they def hated on me for not kickin it w/ them.  But here I am 26 years old, got a great career and shit, still moving on to bigger and better shit - I ain't even come close to peaking yet.  And these cats are so pathetic, they're baggin the 17/18 year old broads cuz they're too imature for anyone older, gettin DUI's, doin drugs, makin minimum wage, and prolly got pennies in the bank (or less).  And a couple of them look like they're 40 years old cuz all they do is drink and smoke everyday.  These dudes peaked at 18 and it's all downhill from there.

Whats that saying? If you lay with the dogs, you're bound to get fleas?  You gots to cut these people out cuz all they're gonna do is drag you down. 

True that. heart felt man.

[Soulful]

good luck homie, u aint happy with your situation and ure doin something about it!

your friends should support u if they truly care for u.