Ok... These are a Little funny to me...

[MidnightPills]

Small Head!

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, “Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?”

The man said “No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the German's in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore.

One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, ‘I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex.’”

So I said, “How about a little head?”
                     

         The Mexican Bandit          


The American tourist got the shock of his life when a Mexican with a 6 shooter jumped out from behind a cactus.

"Take my money, my car but don't kill me", said the tourist.

"I no kill you if you do what I say," said the Mexican.

"Just unzip your pants and start masturbating," he ordered.

Although shocked, the tourist did what he was told. "Right, now do it again" said the Mexican.

The Yank protested but with the gun against his nose, he managed again.

"And yet again, Gringo, or I shoot you dead."

With sweat running down his brow, the yank managed a final effort and fell exhausted.

"Good" said the Mexican, "now you give my sister a ride to the next village."


Just Hold Me


Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife. We'll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.

She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register." The husband says," no - no - no, honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the Husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man!!!

[Shoe_whore]

LOL

[ExZit]

lol.... i didnt get that one with the mexican..... but its all good  

[Sikotic™]

LMAO @ the husband and wife one.

[King Tech Quadafi]

lol.... i didnt get that one with the mexican..... but its all good  

he wanted the fool to give his sister a ride but he didnt want him fuckin his sister so he made him wack off 3 times


shit i bust a nut 3 times, and i aint even thinking of pussy!

[bez]

Yer that where funny to you indeed.

[BossPlaya]

LMAO @ the husband and wife one.

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