Author Topic: shyness  (Read 846 times)

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Re: shyness
« Reply #25 on: February 10, 2008, 06:09:01 PM »
Though i will admit, i won't be the first to walk to meet and talk to someone!
I would need to know someone who knows that individual!
Don't know why, it's always like that for me!

for you guys that are extroverted in nature, do you guys maintain eye contact??
because i don't, i've never been able to!
That alone kinda annoys a lot of pple, especially my Gurl! ;D

same with me. im working on the eye contact though and getting better. but still hate talking to random strangers.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #26 on: February 10, 2008, 06:13:41 PM »
There's a difference between introverts and shy people though.  The opening poster probably isn't really shy, just an introvert. 
That's what pisses me off. A lot of people will call me shy, when in reality, I keep to myself except for the few friends and family members I trust. Just because a person doesn't kiss ass or do a song-and-dance routine for strangers doesn't mean you are insecure at all.

I genuine distrust for most people is probably what makes me introverted.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #27 on: February 10, 2008, 06:17:56 PM »
Same here. And for me personally it has nothing to do with my self-esteem. I am very confident, especially after I started going out to the gym and what not, my confidence is reaching to it's maximum.

It's just that I don't feel the need to comunicate or talk with people that I don't know. I like to have a circle of friends that I can trust and I'm good. When we go to a party I'm definetly not one of those who starts to mingle and holla at everybody. I'm like "fuck that". I just like to hang out with my friends when I'm at the party, of course talk to some girls but not 100 chicks like some do, 2 or 3 that you find attractive. I think that guys like us are really loyal friends and good boyfriends because if I'm in a relationship I never even think about cheating because once again, I don't have that urge to even try to holla at other girls. That's why I've only been in 1 serious relationship so far because I only date girls, I really find attractive and fun to be with. Not some 3 months relationship type of bs. Don't get it twisted in no way am I judging other types of chracter, everybody has it's own personality and it should be that way.

Oh, and I also HATE small talk. It's so fucking forced and it always covers the same subject: the weather, school, friends you both know but haven't seen in a while....

So, to me there's a big difference between shy and introverted. I know shy people and that's something completley different than me.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #28 on: February 10, 2008, 06:58:28 PM »
I personally think for people who aren't shy, it's easy to say shyness is caused by low-self esteem and whatever else. Becuz I KNOW it's hard for people to comprehend quiet niggas. I know. But ask a kidd why he's quiet and he can't come up with an answer. It's just a personality trait really. Becuz I don't know why I'm shy. I don't know why I'm introverted. I don't know why I'm quiet. It just is what it is. I know there's levels of it too, lol.

You can be shy and have high self esteem.
But you could be shy with low self esteem.
I mean the loudest big mouthed people can have no confidence in themselves what so ever, now being loud can't cause low self esteem either, can it? We workin' both ways now if that's the case.

Experiences make you who you are, not this other shit.

LOL Blu Lacez!!!
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #29 on: February 10, 2008, 07:03:59 PM »
^^lol..What's so Funny QT?? ;D ;D
I'm being honest here!!..I'm 23,hwever when i was younger in my teens, i sue to look at the grough while conversating with people!
I still do it,but not as often as i did when i was younger1
My Gurl hates it so much,that when i look anywhere but at her ,or avoid eye contact, she follows my face until she can maintin and lock eye contact....Cracks me up..Sometimes it's annoying!!
 ;) ;D

 

QuietTruth

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Re: shyness
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2008, 07:11:51 PM »
LMAO, you a funny dude. I hear you. I do the same thang. Whether I'm gettin' talked too, or yelled at, whatever, I look away. You's just an honest cat. ;D

she follows my face until she can maintin and lock eye contact....
LMFAO!!!!! I had a teacher that used to do that shit, she used to piss me off. Get the fuck out my face.


I avoid the shit cuz I don't know where to look, honestly, unless it's a girl it's another story, it's all about the contact there, lol. ;D
I mainly do that shit to keep my innocence. :laugh: That's wit the smile.
When a nigga's mad, FUCK eye contact, that means you interested, fuck that.
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #31 on: February 10, 2008, 07:13:27 PM »
Same here. And for me personally it has nothing to do with my self-esteem. I am very confident, especially after I started going out to the gym and what not, my confidence is reaching to it's maximum.

It's just that I don't feel the need to comunicate or talk with people that I don't know. I like to have a circle of friends that I can trust and I'm good. When we go to a party I'm definetly not one of those who starts to mingle and holla at everybody. I'm like "fuck that". I just like to hang out with my friends when I'm at the party, of course talk to some girls but not 100 chicks like some do, 2 or 3 that you find attractive.  Not some 3 months relationship type of bs. Don't get it twisted in no way am I judging other types of chracter, everybody has it's own personality and it should be that way.

Oh, and I also HATE small talk. It's so fucking forced and it always covers the same subject: the weather, school, friends you both know but haven't seen in a while....

So, to me there's a big difference between shy and introverted. I know shy people and that's something completley different than me.

^Well you know what??
Reading some of your post,i would ahv figured or plaed you are a reserved kinda Guy..I don't know why it just kinda fitted your profile in some way!!


Quote
I think that guys like us are really loyal friends and good boyfriends because if I'm in a relationship I never even think about cheating because once again, I don't have that urge to even try to holla at other girls. That's why I've only been in 1 serious relationship so far because I only date girls, I really find attractive and fun to be with
I can relate to that^^^
As for conversating with others Girls,this i do however there has to be a reason why i'm doing that1
it could be work related, or something to do with Music or just plain conversating!
it's kinda weird,cuz i don't really have that much of a good and healthy conversating relationship with my Gurl's firend.

They feel it's bad.I'm more inclined to think it's fine!
I don't dislike them i just don't have naything to say them to,unless the situation warrants it!

Though i will admit, i won't be the first to walk to meet and talk to someone!
I would need to know someone who knows that individual!
Don't know why, it's always like that for me!

for you guys that are extroverted in nature, do you guys maintain eye contact??
because i don't, i've never been able to!
That alone kinda annoys a lot of pple, especially my Gurl! ;D

same with me. im working on the eye contact though and getting better. but still hate talking to random strangers.

Good Fr You!!
bst of Luck1
Cuz i've tried and failed..But Alway

[/quote]s willing to get and try again!


I personally think for people who aren't shy, it's easy to say shyness is caused by low-self esteem and whatever else. Becuz I KNOW it's hard for people to comprehend quiet niggas. I know. But ask a kidd why he's quiet and he can't come up with an answer. It's just a personality trait really. Becuz I don't know why I'm shy. I don't know why I'm introverted. I don't know why I'm quiet. It just is what it is. I know there's levels of it too, lol.

You can be shy and have high self esteem.
But you could be shy with low self esteem.
I mean the loudest big mouthed people can have no confidence in themselves what so ever, now being loud can't cause low self esteem either, can it? We workin' both ways now if that's the case.

Experiences make you who you are, not this other shit

True That!
But most would argue that the loud person is doing that becuase they feel confident in themselves adn not afriad to amke a mistake. As oppose to 'quite' or 'Shy' people who may not feel 'confident to do likewise,for fear of making a fool of themselves...

 

Money

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Re: shyness
« Reply #32 on: February 10, 2008, 07:18:27 PM »
train of thought? free post.
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #33 on: February 10, 2008, 07:20:51 PM »
LMAO, you a funny dude. I hear you. I do the same thang. Whether I'm gettin' talked too, or yelled at, whatever, I look away. You's just an honest cat. ;D

she follows my face until she can maintin and lock eye contact....
LMFAO!!!!! I had a teacher that used to do that shit, she used to piss me off. Get the fuck out my face.


I avoid the shit cuz I don't know where to look, honestly, unless it's a girl it's another story, it's all about the contact there, lol. ;D
I mainly do that shit to keep my innocence. :laugh: That's wit the smile.
When a nigga's mad, FUCK eye contact, that means you interested, fuck that.

HAHAHAH!!
I had a teacher like that Once!
She got so bold that she reached up and grabbed my face and tilted it up, so i could maintain eye contact!
Boy Oh Boy, I had never felt so embarrassed in my life!
Brown skin with Big Red Cheeks,didn't help that i wore thick glasses at the time, they were puffed and cloudy with condensation...Teacher was looked into my eyes...saying'You have to maintain eye contact,to do otherwise, is a sign of rudeness'...
Worst day of life.....
« Last Edit: February 10, 2008, 07:22:22 PM by Blu Lacez »
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2008, 07:24:09 PM »
Weird thing about me is, I'm an introvert, but when it comes to social shit like parties, I'm very open and friendly to people. I think it's the atmosphere.

It's kinda hard to be excited n shit when you're in line at the DMV.....and the people that are like that worry me.

and like someone said: fuck small talk. It's boring. I need more stimulating conversation so I usually don't waste my time with that shit. It does work against you when you you're trying to network and shit like that, but I just can't force myself into doing it.
 

QuietTruth

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Re: shyness
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2008, 07:32:12 PM »
^ Honestly, you gotta be the first nigga that's introverted with a personality. :-\


LMAO, you a funny dude. I hear you. I do the same thang. Whether I'm gettin' talked too, or yelled at, whatever, I look away. You's just an honest cat. ;D

she follows my face until she can maintin and lock eye contact....
LMFAO!!!!! I had a teacher that used to do that shit, she used to piss me off. Get the fuck out my face.


I avoid the shit cuz I don't know where to look, honestly, unless it's a girl it's another story, it's all about the contact there, lol. ;D
I mainly do that shit to keep my innocence. :laugh: That's wit the smile.
When a nigga's mad, FUCK eye contact, that means you interested, fuck that.

HAHAHAH!!
I had a teacher like that Once!
She got so bold that she reached up and grabbed my face and tilted it up, so i could maintain eye contact!
Boy Oh Boy, I had never felt so embarrassed in my life!
Brown skin with Big Red Cheeks,didn't help that i wore thick glasses at the time, they were puffed and cloudy with condensation...Teacher was looked into my eyes...saying'You have to maintain eye contact,to do otherwise, is a sign of rudeness'...
Worst day of life.....


LMFAO!!! That's hilarious. I hear that, I hear that. Last year, once a week, this broad did the same shit. She used to kneel down all in a kidd's face, I used to put my head down, she used to spaz and I used to look away cuz that's offesnive shit, gettin' that close, I'd look away, she'd follow, so I used to turn my head the complete other way lookin' like I had shit under my lip, LMAO. I hate that shit, I feel you homie. LOL at the rudeness part, LMAO.
 

when it rains it pours

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Re: shyness
« Reply #36 on: February 10, 2008, 07:47:12 PM »
king sikotic, that is weird. people that are introvert usually done communicate much even at a party unless they know the people. unless your drunk lol.

being high or drunk opens up an introvert.
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #37 on: February 10, 2008, 08:05:18 PM »
king sikotic, that is weird. people that are introvert usually done communicate much even at a party unless they know the people. unless your drunk lol.

being high or drunk opens up an introvert.


^ Not certain about that Homie!
I tried drinking even go drunk once, but i never really changed my demeanar..
If anything i was alot more reserved/Shy and ghostly quieter!

I don't drink any more,cuz it's just not my thing!!
Don't smoke neither!

But i guess pple react differently to alcohol and stuff though..
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #38 on: February 10, 2008, 08:07:29 PM »
^ Honestly, you gotta be the first nigga that's introverted with a personality. :-\


LMAO, you a funny dude. I hear you. I do the same thang. Whether I'm gettin' talked too, or yelled at, whatever, I look away. You's just an honest cat. ;D

she follows my face until she can maintin and lock eye contact....
LMFAO!!!!! I had a teacher that used to do that shit, she used to piss me off. Get the fuck out my face.


I avoid the shit cuz I don't know where to look, honestly, unless it's a girl it's another story, it's all about the contact there, lol. ;D
I mainly do that shit to keep my innocence. :laugh: That's wit the smile.
When a nigga's mad, FUCK eye contact, that means you interested, fuck that.

HAHAHAH!!
I had a teacher like that Once!
She got so bold that she reached up and grabbed my face and tilted it up, so i could maintain eye contact!
Boy Oh Boy, I had never felt so embarrassed in my life!
Brown skin with Big Red Cheeks,didn't help that i wore thick glasses at the time, they were puffed and cloudy with condensation...Teacher was looked into my eyes...saying'You have to maintain eye contact,to do otherwise, is a sign of rudeness'...
Worst day of life.....


LMFAO!!! That's hilarious. I hear that, I hear that. Last year, once a week, this broad did the same shit. She used to kneel down all in a kidd's face, I used to put my head down, she used to spaz and I used to look away cuz that's offesnive shit, gettin' that close, I'd look away, she'd follow, so I used to turn my head the complete other way lookin' like I had shit under my lip, LMAO. I hate that shit, I feel you homie. LOL at the rudeness part, LMAO.

LMAo..that's mad!!
yea it's hell annoying!!

Well some folks believe it to be rude to avoid eye contact, while others see it as a mark of respect.. ??? ???
guess the latter would fit in nicely if you are talking with an adult or somebody older than you..
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #39 on: February 10, 2008, 08:08:31 PM »
king sikotic, that is weird. people that are introvert usually done communicate much even at a party unless they know the people. unless your drunk lol.

being high or drunk opens up an introvert.
lol I know all about that, buddy.

^ Not certain about that Homie!
I tried drinking even go drunk once, but i never really changed my demeanar..
If anything i was alot more reserved/Shy and ghostly quieter!
Now that is really weird. You usually open up and become really friendly or really angry and want to pick fights with people.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #40 on: February 10, 2008, 08:10:23 PM »
^ Honestly, you gotta be the first nigga that's introverted with a personality. :-\
Thanks man, I'll take that as a compliment lol
 

when it rains it pours

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Re: shyness
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2008, 08:12:16 PM »
king sikotic, that is weird. people that are introvert usually done communicate much even at a party unless they know the people. unless your drunk lol.

being high or drunk opens up an introvert.
lol I know all about that, buddy.

^ Not certain about that Homie!
I tried drinking even go drunk once, but i never really changed my demeanar..
If anything i was alot more reserved/Shy and ghostly quieter!
Now that is really weird. You usually open up and become really friendly or really angry and want to pick fights with people.
true
my friend gets hella courages and wants to fight everybody when he drinks. usually wakes up with bruises and shit. lol
 

Blu Lacez

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Re: shyness
« Reply #42 on: February 10, 2008, 08:27:30 PM »
king sikotic, that is weird. people that are introvert usually done communicate much even at a party unless they know the people. unless your drunk lol.

being high or drunk opens up an introvert.
lol I know all about that, buddy.

^ Not certain about that Homie!
I tried drinking even go drunk once, but i never really changed my demeanar..
If anything i was alot more reserved/Shy and ghostly quieter!
Now that is really weird. You usually open up and become really friendly or really angry and want to pick fights with people.
Lol..You're a Funny Dude Sik!!!!
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #43 on: February 10, 2008, 08:43:26 PM »
^ Honestly, you gotta be the first nigga that's introverted with a personality. :-\
Thanks man, I'll take that as a compliment lol
Of course.


LOL I hear ya Lacez.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #44 on: February 11, 2008, 03:16:21 AM »
There's a difference between introverts and shy people though.  The opening poster probably isn't really shy, just an introvert. 
That's what pisses me off. A lot of people will call me shy, when in reality, I keep to myself except for the few friends and family members I trust. Just because a person doesn't kiss ass or do a song-and-dance routine for strangers doesn't mean you are insecure at all.

I genuine distrust for most people is probably what makes me introverted.

i agree with that, well put.
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2008, 08:15:34 AM »
Yup there's a big difference between shyness and introversion. Shy persons commonly desire friendships and social interactions, but are held back by their insecurities and fears. Consequently, they avoid the spotlight and face-to-face interaction and ruminate excessively after conversations, worrying about whether they said the right things, made a good impression, or sounded stupid. Shy people doesn't necessarily need to be introverts. Introverts prefer to be alone; they enjoy peace and quiet of solitude. Shy people, on the other hand, want to have contact with other, to be socially involved, and have contacts. Shyness is often being called social anxtiety by psychologists.

ow and btw, a lot of people actually rate themselves more introvert than they actually are.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2008, 08:22:49 AM by Robert de Negro »
 

AboveTheLaw

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Re: shyness
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2008, 09:22:34 AM »
There's a line from 'The Way of Chuang Tzu'

"Those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know"

Still it's equally frustrating when dealing with someone who is extremely extroverted and doesn't know when to shut up, just as being around those introverts who don't do or say anything at all. As long as you know when and how to assert yourself that's all that matters really.
 

when it rains it pours

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Re: shyness
« Reply #47 on: February 11, 2008, 09:55:00 AM »
There's a line from 'The Way of Chuang Tzu'

"Those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know"

Still it's equally frustrating when dealing with someone who is extremely extroverted and doesn't know when to shut up, just as being around those introverts who don't do or say anything at all. As long as you know when and how to assert yourself that's all that matters really.
thats a good quote. im gona put it in my sig box.
thanks
 

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Re: shyness
« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2008, 10:09:35 AM »
^^ you guys need help

"those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know?" ??  ok, what about teachers.. and even before they started off as teachers they had to find a love for teaching people knowledge


to those who say they dont like small talk... have u guys ever held down a job?? macked to a girl??  its essential you learn small talk..

you can make small talk entertaining depending on your personality Lol if im at the dmv and if your sitting next to me and im like damn homie ima turn into a skull and a bag of bones waitin in this muthafucka
its easy , i suggest you work on your mouthpeice and people skills you have to read people accordingly... game
 

when it rains it pours

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Re: shyness
« Reply #49 on: February 11, 2008, 10:14:13 AM »
^^ you guys need help

"those who know do not speak, those who speak do not know?" ??  ok, what about teachers.. and even before they started off as teachers they had to find a love for teaching people knowledge


to those who say they dont like small talk... have u guys ever held down a job?? macked to a girl??  its essential you learn small talk..

you can make small talk entertaining depending on your personality Lol if im at the dmv and if your sitting next to me and im like damn homie ima turn into a skull and a bag of bones waitin in this muthafucka
its easy , i suggest you work on your mouthpeice and people skills you have to read people accordingly... game
it all depends on who you are. its easy for some people and harder for other people. if im at the DMV and some one says something like that to me i would just laugh and think in my head "yo STFU and leave me alone", but if some one asked me for the time i would let them know and not mind it. it is what it is. people are different, thats a good thing.