Author Topic: here are some jokes  (Read 126 times)

MidnightPills

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here are some jokes
« on: March 30, 2002, 05:39:35 PM »
A salesman's car breaks down, so he asks a farmer to let him spend the night, and the farmer agrees. In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up and is really thirsty, so he decides to go to the barn and get some milk from a cow.

Soon, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn and goes to investigate. He then sees the salesman coming out of the barn-soaking wet and with a white liquid dripping down his face. The farmer asks, "What happened to you?" The salesman says, "I just got thirsty, so I milked your cow. It was so dark in there I don't know how I did it. But I'm telling you, that cow has great milk! I must have drank a gallon of it!"

The farmer then stares at him with a puzzled look and says, "But we don't have a cow. We just have a bull."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes up to a girl in bar and asks, "You want to play "Magic"?"

She says, "What's that?"

The guy answers, "We go to my house and screw, and then you disappear."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self-conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance

"Would you like to dance with me?" he asked.

She replied, "Would I!" and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.
"What the hell do you guys think you are doing?", she barks angrily. One of the Japanese men replies:
"Can't you see? We are all berry hungry."
The waitress says:
"So how is whacking off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??"
One of the other businessmen replies:
"Because menu say FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

?Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

?Yo mama so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable tv shows at home.

?Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

?Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in my house, and I know that I'm alone,
Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bone
Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stone
Hey Masturbata!

I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nice,
Once ain't enough so I have to do it twice
If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advice
Hey Masturbata!

I use some baby oil or a little Vaseline,
Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet clean
Never shake my hand cause you don't know where its been
Hey Masturbata!

I do it in the car when I'm driving down the street,
One hand on the wheel and the other on my meat
I can't get out the car cause I'm sticking to the seat
Hey Masturbata!

Since I was a kid I have been a masturbater,
Choke the chicken; hum the knob, squeezing the tomato
I've looked at Ms. November now I'm gonna decorate her
Hey, Masturbata!

Buffing the banana, Mr. Lizard shaking bacon,
Pounding on the flounder and its mayonnaise I'm makin'.
Spank the frank, wax the carrot, god my hand is achin'.
Hey, Masturbata!

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Youngster323

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2002, 05:44:11 PM »
lol
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

bLaDe

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2002, 06:07:03 PM »
ha

 -{bLaDe}
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Mr.Pac-Man

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:D :DRe: here are some jokes
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2002, 07:10:11 PM »
LoL.......... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

the one with playing "magic" and the waitress one was hella funny!!!!!!!!!11 :D :D :D :D :D :D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Sikotic™

Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2002, 07:29:25 PM »
LMAO
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Sikotic™

Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2002, 07:30:02 PM »
LMAO
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Suga Foot

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2002, 07:33:55 PM »
ROFL
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Dogg_Pound_Gangsta

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2002, 09:09:04 PM »
lol
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Dope Money Clean

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2002, 09:14:02 PM »
:-X       Damn ,   I  didnt even  crack a  smile   except for  that  .....

"we go to my house and screw  and then u    disappear "  

hahahahaa ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

bez

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LRe: here are some jokes
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2002, 12:25:07 AM »
LOL
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Don Seer

Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2002, 12:32:05 AM »
;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

closetothalimit

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2002, 12:35:34 AM »
lol...good jokes...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

maddskilzz9

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2002, 05:53:22 AM »
Quote
lol...good jokes...

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

BossPlaya

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Re: here are some jokes
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2002, 08:00:26 AM »
lmao tha magic 1 was tha best 1
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


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