Author Topic: Womens God gift to man...YEA RIGHT...FEEDBACK PLZ!  (Read 124 times)

Pillow

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Womens God gift to man...YEA RIGHT...FEEDBACK PLZ!
« on: September 26, 2002, 07:13:49 PM »
man i was with this girl i and jus today i found out she was cheating on me. i seen her kissen up on this one fool behind a protable at our school....i was so fuckin pissed, so i wrote a rhyme about that shit up in my 7th period class...peep....

Come on baby boo between me and him who's who//
I'm sick of being played a fool left mentally confused//
Singing the blues over you drunk heavilly off booze//
I thought you was faithful I guess only to temptations lustful//
Hate to burst your bubble but you done caused my heart to much trouble//
It has crumbled into rubble and my love you've forever fumbled//
No more kiss and cuddle we could never again be as close as a huddle//
I heard you fucked my friend you denied but he showed photos of your sin//
The pain digs within my skin leaving all emotions broken//
Your true feelings were'nt showing so why couldn't you have let them be spoken//
I find it revolting that my dogg was what you'd been groping, eating some bitches clit//
You'll never again have this dick for you have bad credit with
Still asking for a relationship note that you'd be better off it//

please lemme get some feedback on this
peace........

..::TinMaN::..
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Reef

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Re: Womens God gift to man...YEA RIGHT...FEEDBACK
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2002, 04:57:31 AM »
That was real tight.. I liked the subject .. i was feelin it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

bez

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Re: Womens God gift to man...YEA RIGHT...FEEDBACK
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2002, 07:22:38 AM »
It was cool, thought the way it got dirtier towards the end was a bit sick.  If you get me, instead of keeping it on the same level it dropped to a level where you where just rhyming clit with dick and that and it didnt make a good ending, but apart from that it was cool brother.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »