Author Topic: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please  (Read 206 times)

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Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« on: June 29, 2002, 10:13:59 AM »
Right......here's a battle verse from d12online and I want feedback from real MC'S cuz most of the people over there suck.
_________________________________________________

Ah shit, I know this ain't gonna go down. You two of all people? Dissin me?
You gotta be shittin me…I’ve seen better comebacks in porno videos
I ain't lettin you bitches slide no more…check it out

Yo….Now what in the fuck do we have here besides two illiterate queers
I tried to be sincere and handle my business but this shits gotten too severe
I'm the forum pioneer, my whole career I've persevered without sheddin any tears
Stev-e there's a few things your dumbass needs to hear before I make you disappear
I think you betta look in the mirror and realize you're being ripped severe
I still wanna make a few more things clear, and yeah I'm being sincere

YEAH YOU PISSED ME OFF.....GOD I GOTTA GO AGAIN

It's time for me to regulate and simplicate things down to a matter of fate
I desecrate and violate weak MC'S and leave them eradicated and irate
Complaint? The only reason I was put on this earth was to translate hate
Do you really think you would stand a chance against an MC who defies the weak?
Please, you're just gonna add to my winnin streak, my technique is so unique
Stev-e don’t even speak you freak, your just another weak computer geek
Your rhymes are so old and shitty they could be classified as "antique"
Shane your rhyming style reeks, this fag might as well starred in Dawson’s creek

NOT DONE YET MOTHERFUCKERS....

I'm tired of fake netcees like you two with no mets or multis thinkin they hard
What can I say, I've never left my guard and I'm never gonna lose to these retards
My rhymes have the power to make your insides scarred without any regard
Shane I thought you should know you’re below low, not anywhere near my level
The only way you two fags would stand a chance is to sell your soul to the devil
And even still you’d be violated, desecrated, and how could I forget? annihilated
You’ve been tried and convicted so there’s no need to leave any statement unstated

THE FINAL BLOW

I've waited and hated your type for so long you can only begin to imagine
I could be drunk off a bottle of gin and still rip you with a pen time and time again
Don't you two faggots know, envy is a sin how in the fuck could you ever win?
You living is only temporary, shit I wanna see you rhyme without a dictionary
I'm a lyrical mercenary sent to defy the weak, Scary? You betta prey to marry
I’m way sicker, My rhymes will fuck you up quicker then any type of hard liquor
Pain is what I stir, I met stev-e’s mom today just so I could confer and "dick her"
All u see is a blur, I transfer shit sick enough to make the next renaissance occur
Battle me? Bitch I simply defer, when you battle me you betta be ready for war
I've got battle verses galore, Shane ain't nuttin but a cheap broken down whore
You two can't even spell right, so how the hell could you ever put up a fight
Despite tonight I ignite rhymes and make the polite inconspicuous just for the night
You two fags can't see me I'm simply out of sight, my name you soon will recite
You think everything's alright? Pain and suffering is the only thing my rhymes invite
On my level? Haha not quite. Don't even flatter yourselves with your bullshit rhyme
As the don once said, "you can run the red lights but read the street signs"
I seriously doubt if you two can even read, let along think straight
When you fuck with me the death rate hits a maximum there’s no chance to escape
I told you two dumbasses before, there’s no way you can escape your fate......
________________________________________


BATTLE EXPLANATIONS

-Ste-v and shane started off on this forum beefing. Then all of a sudden they bacame friends.
-SIMPLICATE = to make things simpler
-Shane's rhyming style consists of 1 syllable words with no multis or wordplay
-Dawson's Creek (TV SHOW)
-"You Can Run The Read Lights But Read The Street Signs" In the song "This Aint Livin 2Pac says that. It's a figure of speech meaning you can move as fast as you want but take advice along the line.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


Been getten worried that these square muthafuckers with nerves
sayin they can get with us but picture me gettin' served
My own mama say i'm thuged out
my shit be bumpin out tha record store as if it was a drug house

 

.:R-E-L:.

  • Muthafuckin' Don!
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Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2002, 10:20:12 AM »
thats tite n all.....but 4 a battle......its WAAAAY 2 long!


u gotta shorten it down


its tite....good vocab, and flow
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
Straight Outta Muthafuckin So. Kaliforn-i-a
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Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2002, 10:21:32 AM »
Thanks for the feedback.

Peace
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


Been getten worried that these square muthafuckers with nerves
sayin they can get with us but picture me gettin' served
My own mama say i'm thuged out
my shit be bumpin out tha record store as if it was a drug house

 

.:R-E-L:.

  • Muthafuckin' Don!
  • *****
  • Posts: 1502
  • Karma: 0
  • R-E-L...comin w/ that punk rap!  
Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2002, 10:22:47 AM »
49 bars!!!!

thats like double the maximum u wanna go
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
Straight Outta Muthafuckin So. Kaliforn-i-a
909 805 310 323 213 818 661 949 714 609 415 619 562
 

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Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2002, 10:26:39 AM »
Yeah, I agree with REL.  This shit was tight and ill, but it was way too long for a battle verse.  49 bars?  DAMN!  I think a person would only use 49 bars if he wanted a guaranteed victory, or wanted to humiliate his opponent.  49?  The highest I go is 30, son....
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2002, 10:34:59 AM »
Alright next time I'll shorten it.....thanks for the replies.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


Been getten worried that these square muthafuckers with nerves
sayin they can get with us but picture me gettin' served
My own mama say i'm thuged out
my shit be bumpin out tha record store as if it was a drug house

 

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Re: Just a battle verse....leave feedback please
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2002, 02:13:22 PM »
Shorter one......
_________________________________________________

Haha......you gotta be shittin me. Another wannabe who thinks they can challenge me. Rip me? Bitch you can't even touch me

THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

I hope you rehearsed your battle verse cuz this curse I'm about to disperse
Your verse just got reversed, cum is the only thing that satisfies your thirst
My angers like a bubble it can burst, your whole style is simply unrehearsed
You're simply screwed, I conclude gay porn is the only thing your life includes
Your style tastes shitty like health food and is nowhere near rude or crude
I elude wack MC'S like you searchin for a feud and leave no battle reviewed

GET NASTY? WHY THE FUCK NOT

It's just my killin instinct, fuck around with me and you'll sure to end up extinct
No need to spike your drink, great MC'S and wack wannabes aren't easily linked
If you insist I'm the illest lyricist to ever exist, child you just got dismissed
No chance in hell that we could ever coexist, go ahead slit your wrist I insist
I'm not normally this pissed, this bitch took their best shot at me and missed
Don't even bother reloading no matter what you're gonna end up decomposing
Who's the king? I don't give a fuck bring whatever there's no way of avoiding
"Real MC start noting and quoting," Like a bomb you're gonna end up exploding
The only thing you're good at is deep throating, beat me? Bitch stop hoping
Can't you see your diet of cum is not healthy let alone normal to any degree
Shoot up Jubilee? Bitch let me, Like Tupac I'm blowin up and becoming wealthy

THE DEMISE OF TRUEST MC.......

Truest MC? Haha ain't no winner, a bowl of dicks is all this kid is havin for dinner
I'm a sinner, God I’m gonna be honest once, I don't have the time for a beginner.............



Been getten worried that these square muthafuckers with nerves
sayin they can get with us but picture me gettin' served
My own mama say i'm thuged out
my shit be bumpin out tha record store as if it was a drug house