Funny high stories..

[Floydness]

Im in the mood to laugh.. I wana hear some funny/interesting things that have happend to u while u were high lol. Ill start:

When I first started getting high (around 15-16) I would get SUPER high. So this one time I went to this guys house who used to throw kickbacks every friday and we would all put in 10 bux (like 7 people) and buy a shit load of chronic and smoke allllll night long lol.. So it was my first time trying a gas mask (keep in mind I used to get high like once a week) and it was filled with smoke.. I was so high I couldnt see straight or talk to anyone LOL.. so all of a sudden I get this maddd hunger inside my tummy and I just straight up leave the room and go to this guys kitchen. Im not really THAT close to him at all I just see him on fridays cuz he always throws a small little kickback. Anyways, I go into his kitchen stoned as hell and start looking through his fridge not noticing his mom, dad, and grandma are sitting in the dining room having some coffee and talking.. Here i come with my blood shot eyes not even looking in their direction digging through their fridge and making me a sandwich lmao.. what do i put on the sandwich? Jam, mustard, turkey, and the bread had mold on it.. so im fixing me a disgusting rotten sandwich and I start eating it when all of a sudden I hear a voice thats saying "umm excuse me, what r u doing?"  and I dont hear it the first time so I guess the mother repeats it again and all of a sudden my brain comes back into focus and im looking at the guys family, and I see this digusting looking sandwich (I duno why I couldnt taste it before) and I see my friend from the hallway waving for me to come back with her eyes wide open. I take one look at the sandwich and I threw up instantly . Needless to say I never came back to that house lol.. I have more stories but I wana read some of yours let me know if u wana hear more of mine LOL.. go for it!

[Floydness]

Ill post some more short ones:

U probably heard this one but this one time we were smoking with a few close friends when all of a sudden out of the blue one of our friends blurts out "I desperately want to make love to a school boy!!!" *falls asleep after 5 min*

This one time me, elior, and our friend ash were in eliors car and we were all stoned when all of a sudden ash dropped his phone on the in the middle of the street (dont ask me how) so he opens the door and elior steps on the gas and runs over his phone LMAO..


This one time when I was high I grabbed ash by his neck and started shaking it. LMAO

[Floydness]

also.. this one time when I wasnt high yet me, elior, and his friend were in a car and they were rolling a blunt. They were breaking down the weed on a book and I didnt pay attention. When they were finishing breaking down the weed they placed the book in the middle of the car and it was pretty dark. I look at the book and im like "oooo whats this book about?" *opens book completely* the weed went flying everywhere... lol


I know all im doing right now is burning my burnt self but hey lifes short, this is dubcc, and I like telling my stories so why not?

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

^^ haha, i hope yall had more greenery. lol

i cant think of anything right now, if i remember some, ill post em up.  i know some stories must be locked up in my vault..i just cant remember. lol

[DPE]

ahaha. thats funny.
im 17 & always get super faded when i can. i cant remember that many funny stories but one of tha first few times i got high, i was 13, it was with 2 of my cousins & we took my other cousins weed & smoked it. he had about an ounce & we smoked almost half of it. i smoked more than tha other 2 of my cousins that were smoking wit me because they didnt wanna get to faded wit alot of tha family around. well anyways we come back in from smoking & everyone knows we're super faded cuz our eyes were bloodshot & we smelled like weed....so i get tha munchies, go to tha kitchen, grab a bowl of Honey Comb cereal, go back to tha living room where everyones at & start eating. i was so faded to tha point where i was seeing shit & laughing for no reason. so im sitting down eating cereal, i start laughing bout nuthin, & everyone notices me laughing. while im laughing i keep feeding myself more & more cereal. so im laughing all stupid & as im feeding myself more cereal, im spitting up chewed cereal back into tha bowl & on tha spoon. & i kept eating tha cereal . at tha time i didnt notice i was eating cereal i spit up. my whole family, (uncles, aunts, cousins), were laughing at me & grossed out at tha same time. tha next day my cousins told me what i was doing tha nite before.
ahaha, it might no seem that funny, but if u were there, u woulda been laughing ur ass off...i guess.

another time i was at a birthday party for one of my cousins, & she had a big ass party. so alot of friends were there & shit.
me & 2 of my cousins, tha same cousins from tha last story, started drinking an hour before everyone got to tha party. so tha whole nite we're drunk, smoking wit random people, because we didnt have no weed, (why not smoke other peoples shit if they dont kno u? ). so hours later im gettin my boogie on wit some cute chick, & she happens to ask if i had anything to smoke. i dont kno why & how it got there, but i reached into my pocket to check if i had weed & pulled out a dub sack. she had a blunt wrap, so i took her to tha garage, had her roll up tha blunt & went to go find my cousins so they can smoke too. so i come back wit my cousins & she's wit one of her friends. we start to blaze up. it was my cousin Jeremy's first time smoking so when i passed him tha blunt, he grabbed it all stupid. so im all excited to watch him smoke for tha first time...& what duz he do? he hits tha blunt backwards at first i didnt pay too much attention to it, but when he took his first hit, i seen tha lit up part of tha blunt on his lips. he hit it 2 times. tha second time was when i really noticed & started crackin up. i Yasked,(combination of yelling & asking), him "Jer, what tha fuck are u doing u idiot?! ur hitting it backwards!" & continue laughing. me & everyone else start crackin up & he says "Oh...no wonder it was burning my liips. i didnt kno if i was doing it rite."
  rookie mistake, but i forgave him. but i'll never forget that & i clown him for that shit alot.

[Floydness]

wtf?? he didnt feel his lips burning up?

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

LMAO that aint a rookie mistake..thats just dumb!  haha

[Hey Ma]

Those are good, lets see...

Me and two friends were in a crowded chinese joint ordering food. my buddy is ordering and accidentally asks for "flied lice", not to be a prick, but, well i don't know why, but we all start geeking so hard we cant finish our order or straighten up, so we just turn around and leave while laughing and stumbling into a table with a family chowing down.

me and my cousin were mashing down the 880 in oakland, grubbing some carls jr and listening to jazz. he gets full and since it's night decides it's ok to throw his trash out the window. well he tosses it out anchorman style and it hits a car, only the car happens to be a marked chp cruiser that neither of us happened to notice. needless to say we get pulled over, he gets cited for littering and since his land rover smelled like weed, the cop tossed the vehicle while we waited in the back seat of the cruiser. after he got done and didn't find shit, he let us go and my cousin had the nerve to say "good evening constable" and we drove off.

[DPE]

wtf?? he didnt feel his lips burning up?

i guess not. i dont kno how he didnt...
but it was still funny 

LMAO that aint a rookie mistake..thats just dumb!  haha

rookie mistake...dumb...same thing, rite?

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

+1 for rhoto v.  that shit is the SHIIIT.  

actually, i got a story about that.

we used to visit my homie who worked as a security guard at a bowling alley.  he used to be able to blaze while "patrolling" the lot.  so were blazing up a blunt, passing a bowl around.  we finish smoking and we just chillin, talking, bullshitting.  i pull out some rhoto v, drop some drops.  a lil bit later he asks if anyone has eye drops cause hes about to go inside for a lil bit.  i give him some rhoto v, he drops one in the right eye, its all good...it hasnt set in yet, left eye..he starts screaming in pain.  "what the fuck did you give me, ACID?!" (hes an animated motherfucker).  he runs inside and splashes some water in his eyes.  he comes back out, we blaze a lil more, then outta no where he asks "ay man, u got anymore of that acid?" the way he said that shit, all nonchalant and shit had us all busting up.  

another one..

me and my homie just bought a dime sack off this girl we knew.  we hit up venice beach planning to smoke by the music circle they have (or had, havent been there in a while) on sundays.  so we go, find a chill spot, only to realize that we didnt have any papers and we left the pipe back in his car..parked a good mile away from the beach.  so we didnt feel like walking all the way back to the car and back..and we didnt have any money for papers, so we go to this rastas shop and ask him if he could give us a paper.  hes like "ya man, ya wanta me to school ya on a PROPER method to rollin a joint, man?"  we were novices at this point ( i was like 15, he was a lil older than 16) were like fuck it, ok. so we give him the dime, and he rolls the best joint we had seen up to that point.  we give him like .1 for his troubles, and we go on our way.

we decide that we wanted to go near our homies house to smoke.  he lived like a quarter mile away, and he has like this lake up his street.  i forget the name of the lake, but its on via dole by washington blvd, anyway, so light up the joint and start walking on the bikepath.  were walking and smoking.  then we realize were higher than weve ever been before.  it twas a wonderful feeling. were so fucked up we need to sit down.  we sit just looking at the water and the people riding by and what not.  we sit there for about 2 hours.  go back to his car, and he starts the car, and he realizes hes still too fucked up to drive.  so we chill in his car for about another half hour.  then we went to get some munchies.  

not funny, but it was the highest ive ever been.  


oh, this one time three of us went on a munchie mission, we hit up jack in the box.  we're all high as FUCK.  were waiting in the drive thru and were like "what should we get?"  i forget who, but one of us had the briliant idea to order FORTY TACOS.  FORTY FUCKING TACOS for 3 people.  we all bust up laughing..thinking it was a joke...so we creep closer to the box where u order.  driver asks me and my homie what we want, we both say "what ever, whatever combo you get"...the lady asks "welcome to jack in the box, can i take your order".  my smart ass friend says, with a straight face and a serious tone.."yeah, can i get forty tacos?".  silence.  JITB lady: "forty tacos??".  friend: "yeah, forty tacos, 4 with no lettuce".  we all start laughing our asses off.  the lady says ok, pull up.  the lady is laughing too, clearly seeing were all faded, and says "its gonna take a minute".  we get our shit and we all grub.  we didnt finish em all, but god dam it was funny.

lmao good times.

[da_notorious_mack]

My mate sneezed an 8th of cocaine over his carpet just as he was about to snort a line


wasnt funny at the time though

[Kool Beenz]

shit i got some

when i was 16 i was a sophmore in high school and me and 2 of my best friends were driving around town smoking and my best friend was like the star quarterback for the football team and we are smokin dodi getting blitzed as fuck in his truck and he is driving and im riding shotgun and i tell him hey dogg run over that squirrel and he said ok and stomped on the gas and ran over the squirrel and me and my other homie was like "dude wtf we was just playing dogg" he was like "man i didnt even mean to i wanted to scare it" so we bust a U-y and see the squirrell is just suffering fuckin berly breathing and my homie looks at us in an all serious face and says "im gonna hafta finish him off" and runs over his head LOL

than after that he goes to football and goes to his game and me and my other boy that was blazing with him were like dude how the fuck is he gonna play high as fuck we could berly get here to the game n shit...

the very first play of the first game he throws a perfect touchdown pass and we end up winning that game

after the game we are like "dogg how did you do that you were blown as fuck" he was like "i did it for the squirrel i felt bad so i promised i would throw a touchdown for him"

[Kool Beenz]

another funny story i remember we were smoking and my friend only had a chocolate blunt so it starts to resen and it like leaves shit stains on our mouth and teeth and i go to school and everyone is like wtf is on your lip so i go to the restroom and sure enough i had resin all over my shit and like a dumbass i wipe it with my shirt and then it looks like i got shit stains all on my shirt

another time i was 13 it was my first time ever smoking and 2 of my homies came over and we smoke a joint and i get high as fuck so we go to my room and start rappin some tracks and are just playing videos games chillin and i decide to order a pizza and we order 2 large pizzas with every toppin on it and some wings so the next morning i wake up and i find pizza under my pillow and under my bed and toppings everywhere well i woke up still hungry and i just started grubbing the pizza under my pillow because i thought if i got hungry in the middle of the night i wont have to get up and go to the kitchen to get another slice it will already be in my pillow and under the bed lol

then my second time smoking was with my same 2 friends and we are at there house and my dumbass friend comes up with the idea "lets smoke in the room" so we start smogging out blunts in his room and he put a rag around his head and was like "do i look like tupac" and kept trying to imitate his 2pac poster (my friends were black) than next thing you know his brother my other friend looked out the window and with the stupid look he says "Jamaal momma is here" and they run and get some lysol and spray it all over there room then when the mom comes in she is like "who da fuck was smokin in my house" and i kid you not she takes off her belt and whooped all 3 of us

damn good times...

[Floydness]

My mate sneezed an 8th of cocaine over his carpet just as he was about to snort a line


wasnt funny at the time though

LMFA0

[Floydness]

shit i got some

when i was 16 i was a sophmore in high school and me and 2 of my best friends were driving around town smoking and my best friend was like the star quarterback for the football team and we are smokin dodi getting blitzed as fuck in his truck and he is driving and im riding shotgun and i tell him hey dogg run over that squirrel and he said ok and stomped on the gas and ran over the squirrel and me and my other homie was like "dude wtf we was just playing dogg" he was like "man i didnt even mean to i wanted to scare it" so we bust a U-y and see the squirrell is just suffering fuckin berly breathing and my homie looks at us in an all serious face and says "im gonna hafta finish him off" and runs over his head LOL
than after that he goes to football and goes to his game and me and my other boy that was blazing with him were like dude how the fuck is he gonna play high as fuck we could berly get here to the game n shit...

the very first play of the first game he throws a perfect touchdown pass and we end up winning that game

after the game we are like "dogg how did you do that you were blown as fuck" he was like "i did it for the squirrel i felt bad so i promised i would throw a touchdown for him"

WTF?