Author Topic: my 'Soul's On Ice'...  (Read 180 times)

infinite59

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my 'Soul's On Ice'...
« on: November 11, 2001, 03:29:34 AM »
Reading Eldridge Cleaver has my 'Soul On more Ice' then Ras Kass, bringing out demons of the past/
While peeling off layers of skin, trying to reach the scab, before I can reach for the sky.................

Age 14
My mentality was fuck it, why try when my father told me his secret to life through non-verbal telekenisis/
An atheist with a death wish, I'm attacking the world with more moral aloofness then 2pac in Juice/

Fearing my own extinction, I set up a 13-year old girl to play the role of Jesus/
She's going to be my savior, I'll believe in her, and if she fails, I'll blame her/ (un-intentional scapegoat)
We're in love, but she's moved away from me, and back with her mother to another state/
My fate has been postponed, one day we will meet again, but until then/
My life's course is in suspension, I didn't plan for this glitch in my death wish mission/

Better go find a bitch to pass the time with, so I can untie this knot in my stomach/
Ahhhh much better, but wait, now I'm starting to actually care for her/
Because she's real to me, and in some ways I can see my reflection in her eyes/
But it just wasn't meant to be, I didn't 'figure her in' when I calculated my death wish/

I exit the relationship quick before things get to hectic, cool for two months/
But eventually I was subjected, to deeper pain then ever before/
Realizing the un-excuseable mistake I had made I 'Fade Away' like Staind/
Falling deeper into the black whole, I had completely lost control of my life/
What's worse? Over time the girl I wanted so badly to be Jesus Christ had crossed me out with a knife/
I'm bleeding to death, pleading that the second girl will give me a second chance/
She opens her heart to me in friendship but doesn't allow me to take the next step/
Eventually she begins to ignore me, like this crazy x-boyfriend shit is boring/
Because I keep coming back, and she doesn't understand the attatchment/
Now almost 7 years have passed since I first began that path of reckless abandon/
I have good days and bad and I've learned of a path more righteous/
But still the ills of the past keep bringing me down.  Peace.