The offensive joke thread.

[Al Bundy]

A white guy rubs a magic lamp and a genie comes out, genie will grant him 3 wishes but there is a catch, anything he wishes for every black man will get 2, the man wishes for a Ferrari...genie responds now every black man in the world has 2 Ferraris, white guy then responds well for my 2nd wish i'll have a supermodel....poof to add to the ferrari the genie gives the man a supermodel, but adds now every black man has 2 supermodels. The man takes a second to think and then comes up with his final wish. "Genie, i want you to beat me half to death."

[Rugged Monk]

HAHAA

[Rick McCrank]

I always liked that "what's the difference between a corvette and a jew?"  they both stop on a dime, but a jew picks it up

[Paul]

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

[K.Dub]

Lol

[Blood$]

LMAO at some of those women jokes, there were a few new ones to me in there 

[Kool Beenz]

LMAO i got some off the top of my head

How do you stop a bunch of mexicans from rioting?
throw a quarter

who is the richest mexican?
the mexican that picked up the quarter

what do you call a black man having sex with a white woman?
rape!

what do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed

A jew walks into a wall with a boner what happins?
his nose hits first

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
a pizza doesnt scream in the oven

how many jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front 5 in the back and 1000 in the ashtray

what do you call a bunch of white people in a room?
a box of crackers

whats faster than a black man running down your street with your tv?
his brother in front of him with your vcr

how do you stop a bunch of niggers from fighting?
throw a basketball

how do you get a bunch of nigglets to stop jumping on the bed?
put vel crow on the sealing

how do you get them off?
tell the mexican kids they are pinatas

why do they have cotton in medicine bottles?
to remind niggers they picked cotton before they sold drugs

lol all those were from the top of my head i have some more but cant think of them

[.:DaYg0sTyLz:.]

What do you call a bunch of white kids in a school bus?
-A Twinkie

Why shouldn't you run over a Mexican on a bike?
-It might be your bike

What do you call a bunch of Mexican women in the rain?
-Gorillas in the mist

How was the Grand Canyon formed?
-A Jew dropped a penny down and ant hole

Why is there no Mexican Olympic team?
-All the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in America

What are the two most famous inventions from Poland?
-Ejection seats on helicopters and screen doors on submarines

What's the difference between a Mexican thats been hit by a car and a dog thats been hit by a car?
-There are skid marks in front of the dog

[Turf Hitta]

From Gran Torino:
"A Jew, a colored guy and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender says 'Get the fuck outta here!'"

[white Boy]

why did hitler commit suicide?
he saw his gas bill

what does sperm and blacks have in common?
one in a million works

what do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
juan on juan

[Paul]

What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!

What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!

Why did God give niggers big dicks?
As a way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads!

Why was white chocolate invented?
So nigger kids could get messy too!

What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
An Ethiopian!

What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! I put the pubes on his head!

lol im not racist btw

How do you know if a chink robbed your house? 
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips


What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

Whey do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.


Enough lol

[Teddy Roosevelt]

LMAO. +1 to everybody. Although the one with the Jew and the pizza was fucked up.

[Þŕiņçë]

haha props to everyone i got some good laughs 

[Þŕiņçë]

What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!

What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!

Why did God give niggers big dicks?
As a way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads!

Why was white chocolate invented?
So nigger kids could get messy too!

What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
An Ethiopian!

What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! I put the pubes on his head!

lol im not racist btw

How do you know if a chink robbed your house? 
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips


What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork

Whey do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.


Enough lol

hahahhah ohh my god.

[operation stackola]

Heard my 1st Obama joke today: Guy1: "Have you heard Obama's going to be raising taxes on aspirin?" Guy 2: "Why?" Guy 1: "'Cause it's white and it works." LOL, doesn't really make much sense, but I thought it was pretty funny.