Author Topic: The offensive joke thread.  (Read 971 times)

Turf Hitta

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2009, 05:19:06 PM »
Heard my 1st Obama joke today: Guy1: "Have you heard Obama's going to be raising taxes on aspirin?" Guy 2: "Why?" Guy 1: "'Cause it's white and it works." LOL, doesn't really make much sense, but I thought it was pretty funny.

lol you dont get it? he's saying obama is raising taxes on working white people
 

operation stackola

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2009, 05:27:16 PM »
Heard my 1st Obama joke today: Guy1: "Have you heard Obama's going to be raising taxes on aspirin?" Guy 2: "Why?" Guy 1: "'Cause it's white and it works." LOL, doesn't really make much sense, but I thought it was pretty funny.

lol you dont get it? he's saying obama is raising taxes on working white people
Yeah, I got that :laugh: But, it's not true (so that's why I said it doesn't make sense).
 

herpes

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2009, 06:18:33 PM »
Whats the cuban national anthem ?
Row Row Row your boat.

Whats long and hard on a black guy ?
The third grade

Whats it say at the top of a ladder in poland ?
Stop

What does the bottom of a can of coke say in poland ?
Open other end

How did the Nazi's take Poland so quick ?
The marched in backwards and the polish thought they were leaving

How do you get a one armed pollack hanging from a tree down ?
Wave to him

 

white Boy

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2009, 06:33:43 PM »
some of these are hillarious
 

westsiderider323

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2009, 07:08:19 PM »
haha

these are off the top of my head

whats the difference between dead babies and a corvette?
i dont have a corvette in my garage

how do you hide a black guys food stamps?
you hide them under the job applications

how do you stop an al-qaeda tank?
you shoot the guy pushin it

whats the difference between a mexican and a park bench?
the park bench can support a family

 

_That_Cracka_J

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2009, 07:19:23 PM »
It's night and a guy is walking into the woods with a little girl, dragging her by the arm.  "Mister, I'm scared," says the little girl.  "Ha," says the man, "you're scared?!  I gotta walk back outta these woods by myself!"
 

Kool Beenz

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2009, 07:39:50 PM »
whats the difference between a redneck and a pizza?

a pizza can feed a family of 4
 

GENERIK

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #22 on: February 17, 2009, 08:53:21 PM »
how do you get a nigger down from a tree?
you cut the rope

what's three things a nigger can't get?
a black eye, a fat lip, or a job

how do you keep a nigger from drowning?
take your foot off his head


Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....finally one of them has a stroke of genius.

"You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!"

"You bet, dawg," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside.

Only 10 minutes later, the nigger comes out - blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie.

The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!"

"Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"
« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 08:59:26 PM by GENERIK »
 

Paul

Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2009, 05:11:23 AM »
I like my women like i like my whiskey......................12 years old and mixed up with coke
funkyfreshintheflesh
 

Blood$

Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2009, 09:25:31 AM »
^ LOL!! +1

I always thought this one was pretty bad:

What do you get when you cut open a dead baby?
A hard on!
 

Kool Beenz

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2009, 10:51:23 AM »
this is an old one...

What do you do after having sex with a 7 year old girl?
turn her around and pretend she is a 7 year old boy
 

es-jay

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #26 on: February 19, 2009, 03:45:52 AM »
some absolute classics in here.
 

woods

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #27 on: February 19, 2009, 09:29:14 AM »
Whats the differrence between a black man and a bicycle?

If you put a chain around a bicycle it wont sing old man river
 

Þŕiņçë

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2009, 09:56:49 AM »
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Cuatro Cinco

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Why cant mexicans play uno?

Because they always steal the green card

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Why can't mexicans be firemen?

They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b

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How do you stop a Mexican tank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

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Why are Mexicans so short?

They all live in basement apartments.

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How Do You Starve A Mexican?

Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.

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What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?

Chingos

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Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?

Society.

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What do you call mexican basketball?

Juan on Juan.

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Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?

Me neither.

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What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?

I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.

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Why don't mexicans bbq?

The beans fall through the little holes.

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What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?

steal a chicken

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Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?

yeah.. me neither

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how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?

put up a help-wanted sign

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?

A bench can support a family

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What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?

A miracle.

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What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?

Bean Dip.

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What do Mexicans pick in the off season?

Their nose.

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A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?

Jail Break.

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What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?

Grand Theft Auto.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)

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Why do Mexicans drive low riders?

They are too short to get into any other type of car.

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What is the greatest Mexican invention?

A solar powered flash light.

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Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?

Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

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What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?

Chase after him, it's probably yours!

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Why are Mexicans so short?

When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?

Unemployed.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, they're to short to reach the socket.

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How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?

Throw food stamps in it.


=====================



Haha im not racist i just found some of these funny, plus no one busted out the mexican jokes yet  ::)
 

Þŕiņçë

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Re: The offensive joke thread.
« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2009, 10:02:13 AM »
lol jesus i could barley find any funny white people jokes  :-\

What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.

What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.

What did they white guy do before his blood test?
He studied.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap???
9 months

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!