The offensive joke thread.

[Blood$]

^ yeah me and my friends tried to look for "White" jokes like a year ago and never found any either... always found that funny lol

[Þŕiņçë]

Kind of ridiculous to be honest. I, myself am not racist. I am from a small town in upstate New York. And after all these years of saying how i am not racist, i have to confess. I am so goddamn racist. But i can't stand it, i fucking hate dirtbag white people. The area i live in has been in a recession WAY before all this economy bullshit. We aren't even feeling the effects that everyone else is, cause you know what? Shit hasn't changed here in like 50 years. There are STILL no jobs. People are STILL fucking dirtbags. And there is really no hope for the future of this area.

Ok so maybe i am just spazzing out like always  But just for the record, i am white, but i am not a dirtbag. And by "dirtbag white people" i don't mean poor people. I mean the dirtbags who live in DISGUSTING apartments WHICH they raise their CHILDREN in. Dirtbags who think getting wasted and doing drugs infront of their children is cool.(Talking really young children) And i could go off for like 30 minutes on the 'people' who live around here but i won't.

Also - Im not sure this is true..But i was talking with some guy the other day and he said the highest percentage of child molesters or something is in THIS area in upstate NY. Not sure if this is true but i wouldn't doubt it. There are tons of inbred mother fuckers who walk the street here.

 

[Teddy Roosevelt]

Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?

Society.

-----
Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?

Me neither.
-----
Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)

Made me LMAO.

[white Boy]

Whats the differrence between a black man and a bicycle?

If you put a chain around a bicycle it wont sing old man river

thats so fucked up but had me crying

[.:DaYg0sTyLz:.]

Whats the difference between acne and a priest?
- Acne comes on a kids face AFTER he turns 14

Why did the Mexicans only bring 8,000 men to attack the Alamo?
- They only had 2 trucks

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
- They both come on little crackers

Whats better then winning the gold medal in the Special Olympics?
- Not being retarded

What do you call an Indian dating service?
- Connect the dots

A sexy girl walks into a bar and sits down. A guy at the bar says, "wow, youre gonna get fucked tonight".  She replies, "how do you know?". The guy says, "cus Im stronger then you"

A lonely guy walks into a brothel. He tells the Headmistress he only had $10 to his name. After some consideration, she takes him to a room at the end of the hallway. Inside is a chicken. He gives it some thought, and figures he might as well get his moneys worth, and fucks the chicken. A week later he comes back, he's only got $5 this time. She takes him to another room at the end of the hallway. Inside, a cluster of men are jerking off to a view of the next room, through a one-way mirror, a man is fucking a disgustingly obese woman. Off-handedly he remarks, "thats pretty fucked up".  One man hears his comment and replies, "Thats nothing! Last week some guy was fucking a chicken!"

A man runs into Hitler. Surprised to see him, he asks Hitler what he's up to.  Hitler responds, "this time Im going to kill 6 million Jews, and 2 clowns!"
The man- "Two clowns? Why are you going to kill 2 clowns??"
Hitler- "You see, nobody cares about zee Jews"

[lilvasquez]

whats the difference between a bench and a glack guy..


the bench could support a family

[Paul]

Whats better then winning the gold medal in the Special Olympics?
- Not being retarded



lol my favourite

[Nigga_With_An_Additude]

a man had 20.00 and he wanted some pussy so he went down to the local whore place to get some.He asked the first girl how much she charged she sid 40 and he asked the next girl she siad 40 so he kept going down and finally he gets to this stall with this old lady in it and he says hiow much and she says 20 so he goes in and puts it in and he goes this is not good and she goes go away a minute and I wil make it feel like young pussy and so he turns his back and after a few seconds she says come here and he turns around and sticks himself in her again and he goes this feels good what did you do?

she says pick the scabs and let the pus run.............

[Þŕiņçë]

Fucking ew. That was NOT funny queen.   

[Nigga_With_An_Additude]

hahahah very funny to me......................

[jeromechickenbone]

How do you know when it's midnight at Michael Jackson's house?

The big hand touches the little hand.

[Blood$]

What do McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common?
-They both stick their 40 year old meat into 12 year old buns

[Floydness]

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

lmaoooo whata fag u must be, I didnt even get offended at those women jokes but analyzing them from a psychological point of view was fucking funny LMAO! Thats pretty much how it starts..  did u notice that PRETTY MUCH ALL ur jokes were about women? everyone else has a little variety but u just blast out lol

[Mr. O]

-----
What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?

Grand Theft Auto.

-----
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

-----
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?

They are too short to get into any other type of car.

.



----
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?

Unemployed.

.


=====================



Haha im not racist i just found some of these funny, plus no one busted out the mexican jokes yet 

WTF..lOL....gta part is funny though.

[Paul]

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

lmaoooo whata fag u must be, I didnt even get offended at those women jokes but analyzing them from a psychological point of view was fucking funny LMAO! Thats pretty much how it starts..  did u notice that PRETTY MUCH ALL ur jokes were about women? everyone else has a little variety but u just blast out lol

lol i know they were, dont get me wrong i love women but some most of them are true in some form. haha