I SPECIFICALLY WATCH RERUNS OF KING OF QUEENS TO SEE THIS NIGGA...

[universe]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/FBN26XL26pg&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/FBN26XL26pg&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/OaWaS4i8Ftw&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/OaWaS4i8Ftw&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/YdkqULZ2onA&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/YdkqULZ2onA&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a><a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/feANfZsUEOg&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/feANfZsUEOg&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=JERRY+STILLER&btnG=Search+Images&aq=f&oq=

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=arthur%20spooner&sa=N&tab=wi&um=1

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=frank%20costanza&sa=N&tab=wi&um=1


FUNNIEST DUDE EVER.

HIS SON DOESN'T HAVE 10% OF SWAG HE POSSES.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=BEN%20STILLER&sa=N&tab=wi&um=1


"The King of Queens: Pilot (#1.1)" (1998)
Arthur Spooner: I have two words; I am not moving!
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: That's four words.
Arthur Spooner: Okay, I have another four words for you then; screw you!

Arthur Spooner: [watching his house burn down] I wonder if it's too late to buy insurance?

Arthur Spooner: I'm 75 years old, and I still wake up with the little guy saluting.

"The King of Queens: Golden Moldy (#5.16)" (2003)
Arthur Spooner: What do we have here?
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Vacation brochures. It looks like we're going to the Caribbean next week.
Arthur Spooner: We are? Oh, goody.
Doug Heffernan: Well, I hope you mean for us.
Arthur Spooner: I see. Once again I humiliate myself by assuming I'm a member of this family.

Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Come on, you'll have fun. You can invite Spence, and we'll buy you something from St. Croix.
Arthur Spooner: You think you can buy me off with some cheap island trinket, a linen shirt 42-long? How dare you?

[Arthur calls Doug in St. Croix]
Arthur Spooner: Douglas? It's Arthur Spooner.
Doug Heffernan: Okay, last name not necessary.

"The King of Queens: Knee Jerk (#8.16)" (2006)
Arthur Spooner: Shame on you, Carrie. I've pushed tons of people down the stairs, but damn it, I always own up to it.

Arthur Spooner: You play the part of the lumbering imbecile quite well.

"The King of Queens: Rayny Day (#1.19)" (1999)
Arthur Spooner: What? Three people can't play golf together? It's not sex, for God's sake!

Arthur Spooner: You're not throwing out these rubber bands, are you?
Carrie Heffernan: They're all broken, dad.
Arthur Spooner: So? You tie the ends together and they're as good as new, Mrs. Rockefeller.

"The King of Queens: Trash Talker (#6.18)" (2004)
Arthur Spooner: Douglas, there's no shame in being a trash can licker.

Arthur Spooner: Douglas, would you please pass me the catsup?
Doug Heffernan: The what?
Arthur Spooner: The catsup.
Doug Heffernan: Did you mean the ketchup?
Arthur Spooner: Highly educated people pronounce it catsup.
Doug Heffernan: Not if they want me to pass it to them.

"The King of Queens: Icky Shuffle (#6.23)" (2004)
Arthur Spooner: So your mother sleeps around, what else is new?

"The King of Queens: Female Problems (#2.2)" (1999)
Arthur Spooner: I thought ironic meant made up entirely of iron.

"The King of Queens: The Rock (#1.7)" (1998)
Arthur Spooner: [as he gets out of a hot tub, naked] It's called gravity, Douglas, and it's coming for ya.

"The King of Queens: Fight Schlub (#8.22)" (2006)
[to Carrie]
Arthur Spooner: You're painted like a whore and you're smoking cigarettes. The whore part I'm used to, but the smoking'll kill you!

"The King of Queens: Queasy Rider (#2.1)" (1999)
Arthur Spooner: Darling, I need to borrow the iron.
Carrie Heffernan: Dad, I told you, if you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one!

"The King of Queens: Dog Days (#1.14)" (1999)
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: [Carrie and Doug walk into their bedroom to find Arthur sitting on their bed] Dad! What are you doing in here, I'm in my bra!
Arthur Spooner: [making a dismissive gesture] So, I've seen better.

"The King of Queens: Educating Doug (#1." (1998)
[Doug, Carrie and Arthur are in the car]
Arthur Spooner: Hey, pull over I need to use the John.
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: Why didn't you go when we dropped Spence off?
Arthur Spooner: I didn't need to go then. Excuse me for not having a prostate!

"The King of Queens: Cello, Goodbye (#1.3)" (1998)
Arthur Spooner: Oh, sorry. I was just remembering a little girl with pigtails and braces on her teeth telling me, "I made the bestest toast ever!"

"The King of Queens: Dog Shelter (#5.23)" (2003)
Arthur Spooner: Needless to say... you're dead to me.

"The King of Queens: Vocal Discord (#8.2)" (2005)
[playing with Carrie's automatic transcription software]
Arthur Spooner: We have nothing to fear but fear itself... It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... Bosoms!

"The King of Queens: Hungry Man (#1.21)" (1999)
[Arthur is playing chess by himself in the basement and hears Spence entering the kitchen]
Arthur Spooner: Come down here and play with me, I'm tired of playing with myself.
Spence Olchin: Pardon?

"The King of Queens: Papa Pill (#3.18)" (2001)
[Arthur is dressed rather unusual]
Arthur: Tonight's theme is Maui Madness.
Doug: Well, I think you look great, Arthur. I like the way the purple brings out the veins in your legs.

"The King of Queens: Four Play (#8.20)" (2006)
Arthur Spooner: I couldn't help overhearing - I was eavesdropping.
Gloria: No offense, but I'm not taking advice from someone who bounces a check for $1.42.

"The King of Queens: Sold-Y Locks (#8.18)" (2006)
Arthur Spooner: Why are you late?
Spence Olchin: You called me 10 minutes ago and told me to be here in 10 minutes.
Arthur Spooner: I've had enough of your excuses.

"The King of Queens: Shrink Wrap (#4.25)" (2002)
Arthur Spooner: I would like a parrot and name him Douglass.
[Later]
Arthur Spooner: I would like a live parrot and name him Douglass II. Actually, I should scrape what's left of Douglass I off the garage door.

"The King of Queens: Baker's Doesn't (#8.11)" (2005)
Arthur Spooner: I'll handle the lyrics, and you look like the sort who can write music.
Spence Olchin: What's that supposed to mean?
Arthur Spooner: I think you know what that means, Mr. 'I just haven't found the right girl yet.'

"The King of Queens: Better Camera (#3.11)" (2000)
[Arthur gave Lou Ferrigno a copy of his screenplay]
Lou Ferrigno: Well, Arthur, I read "Reconsidering Sandy," and to tell you the truth, I'm a little confused.
Arthur Spooner: Confused about what?
Lou Ferrigno: Well, first of all, there's at least three characters named Mike.
Arthur Spooner: Let me ask you something, Lou. Have you ever met anyone else named Lou?
Lou Ferrigno: Well, yes.
Arthur Spooner: Slice of life, my friend. I just writes it like I sees it. So, what's the next step? Can you get me a meeting at the William-Morris office?
Lou Ferrigno: I don't think so.
Arthur Spooner: I understand your problem. Even though you're not right for the lead role of Smithy, I have the perfect role for you: Henchman #2.
Lou Ferrigno: That's another thing. There's no Henchman #1.

"The King of Queens: Parent Trapped (#2.4)" (1999)
[Arthur will only sell a little troll doll to Carrie for 50 bucks]
Carrie Heffernan: Okay, this is a troll, and I am your daughter.
Arthur Spooner: I know the difference.

"The King of Queens: Roamin' Holiday (#2.10)" (1999)
Carrie Spooner Heffernan: [after Arthur asks why Spence is seating in his seat at breakfast] Spence moved out of his mom's house last night, so he's going to stay with us until he gets a place of his own.
Arthur Spooner: Oh, I see. I must have missed the family meeting where all of this was decided.
Doug Heffernan: There was no family meeting about this, Arthur.
Arthur Spooner: Well, God bless fascism!

"The King of Queens: Awful Bigamy (#6.24)" (2004)
Doug Heffernan: Arthur, come on up here. You know I can't start my day without my two scoops of Artie.
[from the basement]
Arthur Spooner: I don't know what that means, but it sounds terrifying.

"The King of Queens: Pole Lox (#8.1)" (2005)
Spence Olchin: Where do you want to go for dinner? Can I talk you into Ethiopian?
Arthur Spooner: I'm not in the mood for gazelle, thank you.

"The King of Queens: Buy Curious (#7.22)" (2005)
Arthur Spooner: Douglas; would this be a good time to talk about my psoriosis?
Doug Heffernan: Arthur, I was sitting here eating and thinking; yeah this would be a good time.
Arthur Spooner: It's moved south. What should I do?
Doug Heffernan: I don't know; I'm not a doctor.
Arthur Spooner: Tell me something I don't know. You're not a doctor.
Doug Heffernan: Arthur; I'll give you $50 to go back downstairs.



"Seinfeld: The Puffy Shirt (#5.2)" (1993)
Estelle Costanza: Georgie, would you like some Jello?
Frank Costanza: Why do you put the bananas in there?
Estelle Costanza: George likes the bananas!
Frank Costanza: SO LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!!

Frank Costanza: [about the jello Estelle made] Why'd you put bananas in it?
Estelle Costanza: [yelling] George likes the bananas!
Frank Costanza: You shoulda put bananas on the side!

"Seinfeld: The Conversion (#5.11)" (1993)
Estelle Costanza: Latvian Orthodox? Why are you doing this?
George Costanza: For a woman.
Frank Costanza: A woman? What are you out of your mind?
Estelle Costanza: Why can't you do anything like a normal person?
Frank Costanza: Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?

"Seinfeld: The Rye (#7.11)" (1996)
Frank Costanza: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
George Costanza: Why don't we talk about it another time.
Frank Costanza: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a chicken. Something's missing!
Mrs. Ross: Something's missing all right.
Mr. Ross: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
Frank Costanza: That's perverse.

"Seinfeld: The Strike (#9.10)" (1997)
Cosmo Kramer: So what happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
Cosmo Kramer: That musta been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: [Nods head] She was.

"Seinfeld: The Fusilli Jerry (#6.20)" (1995)
Estelle Costanza: Where have you been? You were supposed to fix the stove! I've been waiting for hours!
Frank Costanza: I fell on some Fusilli
Estelle Costanza: Fusilli?
Frank Costanza: You know, the corkscrew pasta. It was a Fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. Had to go to the proctologist.
Estelle Costanza: The proctologist? Are you okay?
Frank Costanza: Yeah.
Estelle Costanza: Oh, I was so worried.
[grabs a couple of tissues from the box]
George Costanza: Ma, don't cry!
Estelle Costanza: Oh, I can't help it!
George Costanza: Ma, your eyes!

[S P I C E]

HELL YES KAIN!!!!!!!!!  EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE KING OF QUEENS!! BESIDES SEINFELD IT IS THE GREATEST SITCOM EVER!!

ARTHUR SPOONER>>>>LIFE

[universe]

HELL YES KAIN!!!!!!!!!  EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE KING OF QUEENS!! BESIDES SEINFELD IT IS THE GREATEST SITCOM EVER!!

ARTHUR SPOONER>>>>LIFE

AGREED.

  EVERY TIME ARTHUR OPEN THAT BASEMENT DOOR

THE SHOW WOULD DEFINITELY BE AVERAGE WITHOUT HIM.

[Sikotic™]

Truth. Be Stiller ain't shit to Jerry.

[S P I C E]

I love the whole show and I am a huge Kevin James fan but yeah without Jerry Stiller this show wouldnt come close to what it is.

[Roccy]

Yes! this dude is fucking tight.

jerry stiller is to king of queens what frank was for everybody loves raymond.

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

kevin james had to convince him to take the role.   imagine if he wasnt successful in convincing him...we probably wouldnt know who kevin james is had he failed.

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

but i also tuned in to watch leah remini.

[Roccy]

but i also tuned in to watch leah remini.

oh..no doubt!

[K.Dub]

Great show and awesome characters.