Author Topic: ever thought about suicide?  (Read 421 times)

Trauma-san

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2002, 04:43:32 AM »
Here's Kurt's note, with comentary by his wife, Courtney Love-Cobain.  I think it's extremely interesting to read... she read this to his fans over the radio the day after his body was found.  The comments in the middle aren't mine, there hers... she was all crying and mad and screaming on the radio, it was really horrible.  Now, imagine if him killing himself was worth putting her through that, not even considering his mother, his little girl, etc. etc.

----------------------------------------------------------


I don't know what to say. I feel the same way you
guys do. If you guys don't think... to sit in this
room where he played guitar and sang, and feel so
honored to be near him, you're crazy... Anyway, he
left a note, it's more like a letter to the fucking
editor. I don't know what happened. I mean it was
gonna happen, but it could've happened when he was 40.  
He always said he was gonna outlive everybody and be
a hundred and twenty. I'm not gonna read you all the
note 'cause it's none of the rest of your fucking
business. But some of it is to you. I don't really
think it takes away his dignity to read this considering
that it's addressed to most of you. He's such an
asshole. I want you all to say 'asshole' really loud.
"This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over
the years since my first introduction to the shall
we say, ethics involved with independence and embracement
of your community, it's proven to be very true.
"I haven't felt the excitment of listening to as well
as creating music, along with really writing something,
for too many years now.

"I feel guilty beyond words about these things --
for example, when we're backstage and the light go
out and the roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't
affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury,
who seemed to love and relish the love and adoration
of the crowd."

Well, Kurt, so fucking what -- then don't be a rock
star you asshole.

"Which is something I totally admire and envy. The
fact that I can't fool you, any one of you, it simply
isn't fair to you or to me. The worst crime I could
think of would be to pull people off by faking it,
pretending as if I'm having 100% fun"

Well Kurt, the worst crime I can think of is for you
to just continue being a rock star when you fucking
hate it, just fucking stop.

"Sometimes I feel as I should have a punch-in
time-clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried
everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do,
God believe me I do, but it's not enough. I appreciate
the fact that I and we have effected and entertained
a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists
who only appreciate things when they're alone. I'm too
sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain
the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours
I've had a much better appreciation of all the people
I know personally, and as fans of our music, but I still
can't get out the frustration to gather the empathy I
have for everybody. There's good in all of us and I simply
love people too much."

So why didn't you just fucking stay?

"So much that it makes me feel just too fucking sad.
Sad little sensative unappreciative Pieces --"

Jesus man oh shut up.. bastard
Why didn't you just enjoy it? I don't know. Then he goes on
to say personal things to me that are none of your damn
business; personal things to Frances that are none of
your damn business.

"I had a good marriage, and for that I'm grateful. But
since the age of seven, I've become hateful toward all
humans in general only because it seems so easy for
people to get along that have empathy."

Empathy?

"Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess
Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach
for your letters and concern during the last years. I'm
pretty much of an erratic moody person and I don't have the
passion anymore. Peace, Love, Empathy, Kurt Cobain."

And there is some more personal things that is none of your
damn business. And just remember: this is all bullshit...
And I'm laying in our bed, and I'm really sorry. And I feel
the same way you do. I'm really sorry you guys. I don't know
what I could have done. I wish I'd been here. I wish I hadn't
listened to other people, but I did.

Every night I've been sleeping with his mother, and I wake
up in the morning and think it's him because his body's sort
of the same.

I have to go know.

-- Courtney Love
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Trauma-san

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2002, 04:58:21 AM »
I've had a lot of horrible things happen in my life, but I have never considered suicide.  There's too much beauty on earth to leave it just because times get rough.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2002, 05:06:04 AM »
well Trauma that is kinda what this post is for,for us to make known what our greivences are so they do not kick us in the stomach and make us kill ourselves,you starting to get the message? >:(I want anyone who is unhappy to post what they are unhappy about,or to tell us why you think suicide is a bad thing,,trust me there is a very important reason why....as I said I just have this funny feeling way down deep >:(
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2002, 05:09:49 AM »
Quote
I've had a lot of horrible things happen in my life, but I have never considered suicide.  There's too much beauty on earth to leave it just because times get rough.  


Some people have it so bad, and the emotional problem that occur are so traumatic that even life's beauty don't do enough. The darker days shine darker then their  brightest days, so when it does get to that point, it's to end the suffering in which they feel.

-Big BpG
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »

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Don Jacob

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2002, 05:43:18 AM »
i think this is what makes suicide such a taboo and complex issue



in Cobains case it makes the biggest of fans such as i  both sad and pissed


Cobain WAS going through some shit, he never led a happy life, he absolutly disliked being that popular and that looked up too, he had an asortment of illnesses, and he was addicted to heroine


BUT look at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (literally)lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll(no i'm serious)lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the people he didn't think about before he pulled that trigger


first and foremost his wife........remember this is before hole really blew up and for all Kurt knew he was going to leave courtney a single mom (who was also a junky at the time) and could've ended up on the streets within a matter of year or few months with fancis, who coulda been sold off for heroine by courtney and a number of things

secondly his daughter fancis....kurt was always a piller of hope for kids without a father or for kids who had a broken home....now he's doing it to his OWN daughter

thirdly...the rest of his family anyone who even remotely cared about him in his family were badly hurt

fourthly ...his bandmates, aka his best friends i could go on and on about this too

and probably the biggest one(people wise)

his fans, like isaid before do you know how many people looked up to tht man that came from broken families and that were even MORE depressed than kurt?? a griiiiiiiiiiiip people were expecting mass suicides after kurt killed himself, imagine if you were one of those kids ,whose only stability is this man....a man who is the only thing keeping these kids from killing themselves, is now killing himself


but i don't know , maybe kurt's mind was clouded by all those drunks he was taking...but again whose fault is it that.


i love kurt , dude was a genius, and for the most part i areed with just about everything he said/did prior to this, but this is something that really makes me mad, and should make anyone mad really, it's very sad but , but the way he went out should rightfully piss off anyone who had respect for him.....but the best thing to do like Perry Ferrell said is to not think about the tragedy and the politics of it too much
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #30 on: February 12, 2002, 05:59:38 AM »
I don't know how anyone could be mad at someone for killing themself. That is selfish due to the fact that the individual left to think about it, has no idea of the thoughts the victim had to go through. If you can't understand  the victims suffering, then of course your not going to take his death as a sad tragedy. Now, most of you know that I do not believe in GOD... I lived that life for too long and decided it was my fault in life. So I know what a lot of you relgious minded people feel. I'm going to leave with a quote by Tupac. Now, I don't totally agree with everything he says, but I understand his reasons for saying it. I respect it too.

"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So Everything that I do thats bad, I'm going to suffer for it, but in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I believe like I'm going to heaven"

In this "suicide" issue, these people believe what they are doing is right. They have it twisted, but its sad that it comes to it.

-Big BpG
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »

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Trauma-san

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #31 on: February 12, 2002, 06:20:15 AM »
Man, no offense, but what a lazy comment by Tupac.  Lemme get this straight.  I'm going to heaven no matter what I do.  LOL.  good one... I've done a lot of bad things, but i'm going to heaven... I dunno what heaven he's talking about, but there's no dirt in heaven, if anybody was allowed in, it wouldn't be heaven.  It'd be earth.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

HBKid_Jr

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #32 on: February 12, 2002, 07:49:11 AM »
Quote
Man, no offense, but what a lazy comment by Tupac.  Lemme get this straight.  I'm going to heaven no matter what I do.  LOL.  good one... I've done a lot of bad things, but i'm going to heaven... I dunno what heaven he's talking about, but there's no dirt in heaven, if anybody was allowed in, it wouldn't be heaven.  It'd be earth.


Actually a lot of people feel this way,  example would be my mom,  she feels god is an extremely forgiving man that tha only thing he can not forgive for is usin his name in vain.  It seems like tha only 2 people that really understand tha pain inside a person whent there goin through suicide is infinite an Big BpG.  When a person kills themselves a lot of people actually do consider there family members when they do it.  Some dont realize tha impact of what they are doin.  Im not sayin suicide is aight but u have to feel for a person that has gotten so bad that they see death as tha only way out.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2002, 07:57:01 AM »
I dunno dude, I still think it's idiotic.  Look at me, my mom's dying, my dad died, I've got all this pressure on me, I just broke up with a girl, she won't talk to me, I'm losing money, my little brother's failing school, and he has no friends, I'm going through all this crap right now, but suicide's not even a thought in my mind.  How can you tell me somebody's got it soooo much worse than me that they've got to kill themselves?  That's clouded thinking.    I think you'll all feel different after you age a little more, you'll think about suicide differently.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #34 on: February 12, 2002, 08:57:12 AM »
Quote
Man, no offense, but what a lazy comment by Tupac.  Lemme get this straight.  I'm going to heaven no matter what I do.  LOL.  good one... I've done a lot of bad things, but i'm going to heaven... I dunno what heaven he's talking about, but there's no dirt in heaven, if anybody was allowed in, it wouldn't be heaven.  It'd be earth.



Naw man, 'Pac didn't mean it like that, what he was saying is that he believes what he has done through his life was right, he believed that he was true to himself & thats real. He's basically saying he can't excuse the bad that he has done but he feels that only god can judge him for that. 'Pac had a big heart man, behind that tuff exterior he was a good person.

Anyways, yeah i've thought about it yeah, when hard times arise, like alot of you, but people have to try and realise it's not the way out, there's always help out there, it may be hard to find in some situations but there's always someone out there worse off than you. Anyways, thats how I see it, but I would never judge someone who commits suicide, I wouldn't hate on them for being weak or for being self concerned. People deal with different situations in different ways. Some people can't control their emotions & when depression hits it's very dangerous, especially for younger people.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »




I think that if you take one of the 'O's' out of 'Good' it's 'God', if you add a 'D' to 'Evil' it's the 'Devil'. I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said 'let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers'.
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #35 on: February 12, 2002, 09:36:02 AM »
yo I think what 2pac said is just right. Because we all act out of self-will, so basically everything we do is right at first when we think about it. Of course we make mistakes while knowing it, but thats not the point. Anyway theres a topic set up by
Ruthlesssouljah where it says that nobody actually goes to hell cuz Jesus went to hell for us, he will do anything to let the righteous go to heaven,  I've done a lot of bullshit in my life, but I or we all will be punished for it. But I look at it like having trouble with your parents, at first they're mad, two days later you talk bout it, and you can feel the love returning back. So why should it be different with god?  
"we've all sinned so whats the difference" ??    suicide aint no issue in my life, and basically I dont see why anybody should do it, but if one can not handle the pressure that lays on him, and he only sees one way out of it by killin himself then thats not my problem, if it was anybody I knew I'd try to help wherever I can but as far as Kurt Cobain goes, let the man decide for himself if he wants to blast himself or not.  

peace, one love
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #36 on: February 12, 2002, 09:55:40 AM »
Quote

Actually a lot of people feel this way,  example would be my mom,  she feels god is an extremely forgiving man that tha only thing he can not forgive for is usin his name in vain.  It seems like tha only 2 people that really understand tha pain inside a person whent there goin through suicide is infinite an Big BpG.  When a person kills themselves a lot of people actually do consider there family members when they do it.  Some dont realize tha impact of what they are doin.  Im not sayin suicide is aight but u have to feel for a person that has gotten so bad that they see death as tha only way out.


My mom basically told me... you decide what you want to believe in. She lived 42 years as a christian and I lived 12 years with teaching of the catholic church... when I was 13 my mom pulled me from the church... she told me she felt the teachings were becoming corrupt and that they were bad for me. For two years I stayed with my belief in god, but after reading other stuff, going through school I decided that yes... the use of GOD is not what I need. I need myself before I need the man above. During my most depressive times in life, I looked for GOD and GOD never came through... so I told myself, I'll believe myself before I believe in the teaching of catholic church. It worked. From now on I'm controlling my future. I'll decide whats right for me, I'll judge people because I have a right, not because the catholic church told me too. So thats where am I today. I can't think about the catholic without thinking what they've done to me. NOTHING.... I did it for myself and will live the rest of my life with myself. When I die, we will see where I go, but it will be my heaven, because thats where I lead myself.

NOW THATS THE TUPAC QUOTE IS SAYING

-Big BpG
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #37 on: February 12, 2002, 09:56:23 AM »
My mom basically told me... you decide what you want to believe in. She lived 42 years as a christian and I lived 12 years with teaching of the catholic church... when I was 13 my mom pulled me from the church... she told me she felt the teachings were becoming corrupt and that they were bad for me. For two years I stayed with my belief in god, but after reading other stuff, going through school I decided that yes... the use of GOD is not what I need. I need myself before I need the man above. During my most depressive times in life, I looked for GOD and GOD never came through... so I told myself, I'll believe myself before I believe in the teaching of catholic church. It worked. From now on I'm controlling my future. I'll decide whats right for me, I'll judge people because I have a right, not because the catholic church told me too. So thats where am I today. I can't think about the catholic without thinking what they've done to me. NOTHING.... I did it for myself and will live the rest of my life with myself. When I die, we will see where I go, but it will be my heaven, because thats where I lead myself.

NOW THATS WHAT THE TUPAC QUOTE IS SAYING

-Big BpG
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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »

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Trauma-san

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #38 on: February 12, 2002, 10:10:11 AM »
I guess we just see it differently then.  I don't feel that Jesus totally secured our place in heaven, if he did, there would be no reason for us to try and live a good life.  Hitler is not going to be in heaven, but Jesus died for him.  It's a combination of the saving grace of Jesus and your own efforts.  But I don't feel like getting into it right now on that subject, lol.  

BTW, Catholics believe that Jesus saved all our souls, if you confess regularly.  They also believe that baby's all go to hell if they die, since they haven't confessed, I mean, that CANT be right.  That's why how you live your life is important too, you're not guaranteed a place in heaven because of something you said or jesus's suffering.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #39 on: February 12, 2002, 05:38:16 PM »
Quote
I don't know how anyone could be mad at someone for killing themself. That is selfish due to the fact that the individual left to think about it, has no idea of the thoughts the victim had to go through. If you can't understand  the victims suffering, then of course your not going to take his death as a sad tragedy. Now, most of you know that I do not believe in GOD... I lived that life for too long and decided it was my fault in life. So I know what a lot of you relgious minded people feel. I'm going to leave with a quote by Tupac. Now, I don't totally agree with everything he says, but I understand his reasons for saying it. I respect it too.

"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So Everything that I do thats bad, I'm going to suffer for it, but in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I believe like I'm going to heaven"

In this "suicide" issue, these people believe what they are doing is right. They have it twisted, but its sad that it comes to it.

-Big BpG


Word..... Kurt probably thought he'd ruin his daughters life if he stayed alive.... There's kids out there that hate their dads, look at the Menendez brothers, they killed their dad, they would have been fine with they're dad commiting suicide when they were kids, they were abused emotionally and physically their whole lifes.


Trauma, it's not like you think it is..... Dad is better then no dad, life is better than no life, mom is better then no mom, parents married is better then parents divorced.... it's not always that simple.
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2002, 05:40:15 PM »
Well, I guess the world's just a darker place then I thought.  Hopefully it's just the youth that feel this way, since everybody seems to think that sucide is sometimes acceptable...
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #41 on: February 13, 2002, 05:02:29 AM »
I watched this film the other week, on terrestrial TV and it was based on this elderly woman who had commited suicide and her relatives that found her not long after (I think they were her sister & neice) staged the suicide to make it appear  as a murder because they were ashamed of what people might say & think. Even though it wasn't a true story it sickens me, especially because before the woman actually commited suicide she was happy (at that moment in time), looking at pictures of her husband & smiling & putting on jewelry, she was happy because she saw suicide as a way to reunite herself with her husband (which she had explained in the note). I don't see suicide as an acceptable thing, but it isn't an evil thing & it shouldn't make the ones left behind ashamed, & it doesn't make someone any less of a good person just because they choose to take their own life. Trauma, you can't judge everyone, everyone's situation is different, we all have our problems & we all deal with them in our own ways. All we can do is make the people around us feel like suicide is not an option, make them feel wanted & loved, make it clear that there's always help around in us for them. You being a person of faith should understand that.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »




I think that if you take one of the 'O's' out of 'Good' it's 'God', if you add a 'D' to 'Evil' it's the 'Devil'. I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said 'let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers'.
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #42 on: February 13, 2002, 07:41:28 AM »
I dunno guys, I guess we just see it differently... peace

Oh, and infinite, it's much worse than that, LOL... My parents weren't married, etc. but i've seen people in lots better shape than me commit suicide, that's why i'm saying it's a stupid thing to do; somebody's always got it worse.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #43 on: February 14, 2002, 04:58:05 AM »
Okay I see where Trauma is going with this but I also see something else.Trauma you are right suicide is a very selfish thing to do,I am taking it that someone has thought about doing it that is close to you,that is why this topic means so much to you.That or you really like Kurt Cobain like my sister does,who read all the books and is a huge fan of Nirvana.But I also see something else,and I want all of you to think about this,what if you were suicidal and were reading this,what besides its stupid can you tell that person to talk them out of it?As I told you I have this funny feeling >:(
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #44 on: February 14, 2002, 07:16:36 AM »
Kurt Kobain was probably well out of it when he topped himself .. probably didn't even know what he was doing .. if he did however i  don't get it ..
but i do understand why a homeless heroin addict would kill themselves ...
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #45 on: February 14, 2002, 08:38:46 AM »
He talked about suicide in about every interview he ever gave, and he was his typical self in his suicide note, so he probably knew what he was doing.
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #46 on: February 15, 2002, 07:18:51 AM »
then it sounds like he planned it .. probably wanted to be famous for being a rock star that committed sucide or something like that
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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #47 on: February 15, 2002, 07:49:04 AM »
Quote
then it sounds like he planned it .. probably wanted to be famous for being a rock star that committed sucide or something like that


I always got the impression after his death that he hated being famous & didn't intend on becoming a fully blown rock star. & also in the BTM on him I remember this guy saying something like 'he had become everything he hated about famous rock stars', which I don't really understand myself because most people who start bands often crave for stardom. But anyways I don't know too much about his situation because i've never really been a fan of Nirvana.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »




I think that if you take one of the 'O's' out of 'Good' it's 'God', if you add a 'D' to 'Evil' it's the 'Devil'. I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said 'let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers'.
 

Trauma-san

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Re: ever thought about suicide?
« Reply #48 on: February 15, 2002, 11:04:35 AM »
Yeah, read his suicide note I posted up earlier on this thread.  He didn't want to be a rock star, but like Courtney said, why don't you just quit then? LOL you don't have to shoot yourself.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »