Author Topic: What Is Divorce Like  (Read 136 times)

Murrow

What Is Divorce Like
« on: February 01, 2002, 09:09:24 AM »
I'm starting to become very busy with school, life etc, and now my family is breaking up right down the middle.  All my life I've had my Mother, Father and brother together, and always around me.  I'm facing a strong reality with the two divorcing - which I am not ready for.  

I live in a fairly big home now, and will prolly soon move into a condo of some sorts across town.  I hate change, it is hard for me to handle, and it scars me.  I keep thinking how things will be different, very different with my parents divorcing.  I have an 11 year old brother who has yet to understand, he still plays games and is completely oblivious to the world around him.  I can't face this change right now, this is not the right time.

I can't face moving farther away, little things like taking a bus to school, instead of walking, walking to a friends house, having a big backyard, a much smaller house.  Can't picture my Mother and Father not living in the same house, not being together for Christmas, all of that...things like that.  

What is it like being a child of divorced parents?  I know I may be makin too big a deal...but I need to talk to someone, please.  

Jome

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2002, 09:45:57 AM »
Quote
Can't picture my Mother and Father not living in the same house, not being together for Christmas, all of that...things like that.  What is it like being a child of divorced parents?  I know I may be makin too big a deal...but I need to talk to someone, please.  
My parents divorced when I was in the military, so it didn't have the affect on me that I thought it would have. What one need to realize is they are doing it for their own good, and probably because they want the best for their family. This is what they want, and it's definately better than having parents that is arguing all the time, as that's hell. Try to look positive at it, and think about the good sides by it, and encourage whatever your parents want. For me it worked out all good, as my mother got to keep the house, and my father got himself a new house that I can visit him in when I want. It created a bit of fresh air when they divorced to be honest, instead of the endless arguing. You need to think about yourself in these situations, and let the parents to the thinking and planning. Otherwise it'll gradually tear you down. Gotta keep ya head up.
;)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

HBKid_Jr

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2002, 10:00:17 AM »
I know what your going through.  This happened to my parents after my dads accident.  My dad would always talk about movin to florida cuz it was one of tha few places he could afford.  He was dead serious about an this bothered me a lot cuz i always thought id live in NY my whole life.  Thongs have improved b/c dont talk about it anymore an my parents are seperated.  Even though they are still legally together still there marriage is over.  This didnt bother so much  so but tha talk of completelt picking up an my life did.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Jome

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2002, 10:06:12 AM »
Quote
Thongs have improved
Lmao
;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2002, 10:17:14 AM »
Up until I was like 9, I thought I had the perfect life. My parents were together, and dispite all the shit I went though, life was still good. Then one day my dad picked us up from school. Shit, my sister and I busted at the seems, as we told my dad everything about my mom's drug addiction, and at that moment we never lived with my mom again. At 10 years old, I was older than my sister, and for a while we had been raising each other because dad was at work and mom was high. After that though, we lived with my dad at my grandparents house. Then life was crazy, court dates, cousity battles since we were young, and the worst, seeing my dad cry. My dad was always the strongest man in the world to me. He was a marine, he had lived, he was huge at 5'11" 185 lbs, which in Mexican size is as big as we get without being fat. Every little bit of secritey had left, and I missed my mom. I visited her on Saturdays in a place to supervise us, and begain seeing her at her house when I was 12. But the worst I think is seeing my mom after the divorce, when she got worst into her drug habit. Divorce wasn't great to me, and the extra toys every year didn't make up for it.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Murrow

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2002, 10:57:45 AM »
Quote
Up until I was like 9, I thought I had the perfect life.


Man, you summed that up.  I thought everything was Ozzie and Harriet when I was young too.  My parents threw huge parties, never fought, and slept in the same bed.  As I got older, shit started to become more real, and I got the picture that there are two people totally breaking up in my home.  Thanks guys, I can see how divorce can be a breath of fresh air/new beginnings...we'll see how things turn out.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2002, 01:56:12 PM »
My rents divorced when I was 3, so I don't really know about normal family life. My mother was like 17 when she got married to my father (he's a couple o' yrs older) & she was pregnant with my older bro when she was 16 so she was obviously not old enough to know what she was doing from the start. My father has always been known as a bit of a gigalo & now that i'm older my nan tells me stuff about how he used to be out with different women & steal from my mother & stuff, which I don't really know how to react to, as I don't wanna be in the middle of things. He's changed now & he's been married to someone else for a while now which is quite difficult for me at times as I feel she tries to stop him from treating me & my bro as his kids ya know, we don't get as much from him as normal kids get from their parents. In the past my mother has had to hold down 2-3 jobs to clother/feed & pay off the house & only in recent yrs have I learned to appreaciate her. I love my father, but I just hate what he's put her through but she's happy now, & thats all that matters.
There's no real way to explain how one deals with divorce, we all have our own ways I think. But you have to think about how this is gonna affect your parents too, not just think about yourself even though that is a factor.  Like jome has said, just let your rents sort this out between them & support them along the way because if they stay together & they're not happy it will only create more tension & unhappiness. Just look out for your l'il bro & keep ya head up.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »




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Murrow

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2002, 03:00:35 PM »
Quote
My rents divorced when I was 3, so I don't really know about normal family life. My mother was like 17 when she got married to my father (he's a couple o' yrs older) & she was pregnant with my older bro when she was 16 so she was obviously not old enough to know what she was doing from the start. My father has always been known as a bit of a gigalo & now that i'm older my nan tells me stuff about how he used to be out with different women & steal from my mother & stuff, which I don't really know how to react to, as I don't wanna be in the middle of things. He's changed now & he's been married to someone else for a while now which is quite difficult for me at times as I feel she tries to stop him from treating me & my bro as his kids ya know, we don't get as much from him as normal kids get from their parents. In the past my mother has had to hold down 2-3 jobs to clother/feed & pay off the house & only in recent yrs have I learned to appreaciate her. I love my father, but I just hate what he's put her through but she's happy now, & thats all that matters.
There's no real way to explain how one deals with divorce, we all have our own ways I think. But you have to think about how this is gonna affect your parents too, not just think about yourself even though that is a factor.  Like jome has said, just let your rents sort this out between them & support them along the way because if they stay together & they're not happy it will only create more tension & unhappiness. Just look out for your l'il bro & keep ya head up.


Thanks.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Don Jacob

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2002, 05:06:59 PM »
my parents never were married so it's hard to relate BUT i think it's equally as painful or maybe more painful if one day your dad just gets up from the coach and says "i'm going to the store real quick i'll be right back" then you don't see him ever again for the rest of your life
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »


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HBKid_Jr

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2002, 05:13:12 PM »
Quote
my parents never were married so it's hard to relate BUT i think it's equally as painful or maybe more painful if one day your dad just gets up from the coach and says "i'm going to the store real quick i'll be right back" then you don't see him ever again for the rest of your life

this happened to my uncle,  his wife one night just left.  She left out of no where.  She took all of his valubles an shit.  She took everything,  only thing she left were tha 2 kids.  My uncle eventually had a nervous breakdown cuz of.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2002, 09:42:39 PM »
My parents divorced when I was about 5, got back together, then split again.  My dad remarried, then THEY broke up.  She cheated on him... so we went through that when I was 15.  Then, he got with another woman, married her, she broke up off and on with him until he died.  We worked through it each time... I've always had it screwed up like that, but positivity goes forever to fix it.  My dad died last year, and my mom just got diagnosed with cancer, had emergency surgery, and can't get out of bed now.  I've had tons of hard times in my life, my dad brought us from being dirt poor, to being middle class, and I've put myself through college.  But people look @ me, and they see me as successful, and blessed. Ha.  

The way you'll deal with it is, it'll be easier than you think, going in.  You think it's gonna be really hard, but really, when you look around, things won't be too different.  Especially since you are old enough to have your own independence now, you'll see that while the whole situation is horrible, It doesn't affect your life as much as you would have thought it did.  You'll still wake up in the morning, and you'll still have fun, it's just when you start feeling bad, you have to realize that there are two ways to look at everything, and the good way is ALWAYS the right choice.

P.S., you're dad's gonna talk and cry your ear off about how much the situation sucks.  Get ready for it.  lol.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Murrow

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2002, 04:50:53 AM »
Quote


P.S., you're dad's gonna talk and cry your ear off about how much the situation sucks.  Get ready for it.  lol.  


:(
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Miss NWA Whoorider

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2002, 05:27:30 AM »
plus you have this board to talk to,you have us............you know we are here to listen and give advice(not always good advice lol)but advice notherless,so you can always come talk to one of us.........if it gets to be too much
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2002, 05:34:01 AM »
I sent a pm to you,read it when you have the time Incog.........
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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infinite59

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #14 on: February 02, 2002, 12:40:52 PM »
Man homie.... I don't know what your going through.. just wanted to holler at ya and tell ya to keep your head up.... you got alot on your shoulders right now.... try to pack light and be patient... your only one man.. and can only do so much... your a strong, intelligent, individual, a child of God... stay calm and humble... and when the smoke clears you'll be on top homie... peace.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2002, 01:39:18 PM »
I hope everything goes good for u and ur family, and if it doesn't, its still gonna be alright, your parents are still gonna love u the same way, my parents are separated. just like divorced, but not legally, I also thought I had the best family then my mom and dad started fighting, right now I try to get that problem in me because My life is going good, i talk with my dad and live with my mom, my dad moved out, and he still happens to talk to us all except for my mom just barely sometimes, but just keep ya head up and try to make the best of things
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #16 on: February 02, 2002, 06:45:02 PM »
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your a child of God...

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Murrow

Re: What Is Divorce Like
« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2002, 11:56:41 AM »
Quote



Thank God.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »