sexist jokes

[morbidenigma]

fuckin love it...

1 - Some mornings I wake up bitchy. Other mornings I let her sleep.

2 - It's not that men can't multi task, women are just shit at prioritizing.

3 - I like my women like I like my coffee. From the third world, relatively inexpensive and preferably ground down by someone else.

4 - Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be!

5 - My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

6 - How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Give it a nipple.

7 - How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

8 - I wanted to ask my wife her honest view on sexist jokes. But she was too busy doing the cooking.

9 - What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

10 - Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

11 - Behind every successful woman is a man staring at her arse. In front of her is either the washing or the ironing.

12 - Women are like wine: I can only afford the really cheap ones.

13 - Feminism: it's fine as a hobby but it's not going to get you a husband.

14 - Opinions are like dicks, only men should have them.

15 - Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

16 - I find women are like lava lamps, Very pretty to look at, just not very bright.

17 - How do you give a feminist Freedom of Speech?Take your dick out her mouth!

18 - I hate the way my dad treats women...........With respect.

19 - There's a reason why there are no female superheroes. By the time they'd got changed, the whole world would be dead.

20 - Even though I am a guy, I believe strongly in Womens Rights.............the right to remain silent.

21 - Why do women have pussies? So men will talk to them.

[ikke]

Woman's rights are enough of a joke.

[Sikotic™]

Woman's rights are enough of a joke.

I should be able to buy/lease my woman like a car.

[ikke]

Woman's rights are enough of a joke.

I should be able to buy/lease my woman like a car.

we should incorperate it in our religion

[Sikotic™]

Woman's rights are enough of a joke.

I should be able to buy/lease my woman like a car.

we should incorperate it in our religion

That's a great idea. 

[morbidenigma]

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

When your woman has to chew before she swallows.

[rayza]

They say a womans work is never done....

Maybe thats why they get paid less!

[thisoneguy360]

Why cant Helen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman.

[Muhfukka]

why dont women need wrist watches?
theres a clock on the microwave

[morbidenigma]

why dont women need wrist watches?
theres a clock on the microwave

already up ther cuzz..