Author Topic: My journey to Christianity  (Read 412 times)

morbidenigma

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My journey to Christianity
« on: June 24, 2011, 12:42:52 PM »
My long journey to the holy church has been completed. I was a stray sheep, but now I’ve found the greenest grass, I’ve finally seen the light, at first it was really bright and hurt my eyes and i turned away, but once i looked again i had never seen such remarkable splendor and felt great tingling sensations on the back of my neck. If I had hair on the back of my neck, it would surely have stood up. I knew it could only mean one thing........the lord saviour Jesus was in my presence. I was helpless, all of a sudden I broke down in tears crying for i knew i had been brought out of my infidel darkness, and i can only thank my omni-racial lord Jesus for rescuing me.

My heart had never been content back in my disbelieving past when I based my opinions on facts and evidence, but now I have found ultimate happiness with the love Jesus has embraced me with and truly thank him for leading me to the right path. All of this happened without me even having to visit Jerusalam so I cant be accused of having the Jerusalam syndrome. Quite the contrary Christianity has truely recovered me from my ill past, when I used to wear condoms to prevent myself getting STD’s and had homosexual friends.

At first i didnt know whether to just cup my hands and talk or just talk to thin air whilst facing a wall with my hands besides my hips, then i realised Jesus doesn't bother about semantics as long as you acknowledge him. I find my body is most relaxed when im bent down on my knees arms raised in the air forwards and my head down, as i whisper what little latin i have grasped so far, although i admit this does get tiring after about 5 minutes, so I would recommend getting a chair. I do not know where my new path will take me, but I do know Jesus will always be by my side, holding my hand in a tight firm grip, letting me know that he will always be there for me.
 

Fraxxx

Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2011, 03:05:05 PM »
My long journey to the holy church has been completed. I was a stray sheep, but now I’ve found the greenest grass, I’ve finally seen the light, at first it was really bright and hurt my eyes and i turned away, but once i looked again i had never seen such remarkable splendor and felt great tingling sensations on the back of my neck. If I had hair on the back of my neck, it would surely have stood up. I knew it could only mean one thing........the lord saviour Jesus was in my presence. I was helpless, all of a sudden I broke down in tears crying for i knew i had been brought out of my infidel darkness, and i can only thank my omni-racial lord Jesus for rescuing me.

My heart had never been content back in my disbelieving past when I based my opinions on facts and evidence, but now I have found ultimate happiness with the love Jesus has embraced me with and truly thank him for leading me to the right path. All of this happened without me even having to visit Jerusalam so I cant be accused of having the Jerusalam syndrome. Quite the contrary Christianity has truely recovered me from my ill past, when I used to wear condoms to prevent myself getting STD’s and had homosexual friends.

At first i didnt know whether to just cup my hands and talk or just talk to thin air whilst facing a wall with my hands besides my hips, then i realised Jesus doesn't bother about semantics as long as you acknowledge him. I find my body is most relaxed when im bent down on my knees arms raised in the air forwards and my head down, as i whisper what little latin i have grasped so far, although i admit this does get tiring after about 5 minutes, so I would recommend getting a chair. I do not know where my new path will take me, but I do know Jesus will always be by my side, holding my hand in a tight firm grip, letting me know that he will always be there for me.


So you basically replaced your ill homo friends with an imaginary gay lover, bent over and all relaxed. :D
« Last Edit: June 26, 2011, 03:09:32 PM by Fraxxx »
i don´t need any medicate shit im 100 normal.
 

LooN3y

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2011, 03:27:33 PM »
who is this?
818

Tha Reella - Slap A Nigga Up Like Wyatt Earp / Sig downsized, too big.
 

Greenbrigade

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2011, 03:32:22 PM »
What The Fuck.
 

Sikotic™

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2011, 02:20:41 AM »
Hey man. Whatever makes you happy in life.
 

westside4life

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2011, 10:10:31 AM »
my journey to christianity was a 12 minute drive to church on sunday, then mcdonalds breakfast
 

morbidenigma

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2011, 01:57:01 PM »
lol @ niggaz not getting satire
 

Native American

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Re: My journey to Christianity
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2011, 01:39:18 AM »
my journey to christianity was a 12 minute drive to church on sunday, then mcdonalds breakfast

damn its been a long ass time since i had some mc-d's, i cant stop thinking about a egg mc muffin w/o cheese.
EVERY LAST ONE OF ''Y-O-U'' BELIEVE THAT DR. DRE HAS MADE THESE SONG's FOR ''Y-O-U''.
THE REALITY IS THAT THE SONG's ARE ''ABOUT Y-O-U'' !!!!!!