Author Topic: Men's and Women's english  (Read 75 times)

PinkTowelGirl

  • Guest
Men's and Women's english
« on: December 10, 2001, 09:34:57 AM »
Men's English

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired  = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle u
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.


Women's English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? =  Too late, you're dead
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Doggystylin

  • Guest
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2001, 09:38:12 AM »
LMAO, true m, i hate it when girls talk like that, it pisses me off... bad. i used to get a lot of those
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

infinite59

  • Guest
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2001, 10:10:38 AM »
It goes deeper than that.........Pandora's box has been opened on us men....and there's deeper shit to unravel
 

bLaDe HeLi[X]

  • The Paradoxical Third Eye
  • Muthafuckin' Don!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5343
  • Karma: 30
  • ..: Monolith :..
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2001, 10:50:10 AM »
LOL funny shit, espicale the men shit

 -{bLaDe}
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
Waving My Double Edged Sword, God Sharpened My Blade...
Its Just Me Against The World, And The Evil That He Made...
 

Nima - Dubcnn.com

  • Dubcnn
  • Made
  • Muthafuckin' Don!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 15181
  • Thanked: 3 times
  • Karma: 1413
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2001, 11:00:08 AM »
the sad thing is: ITS ALL TRUE! ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

PinkTowelGirl

  • Guest
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2001, 11:14:26 AM »
glad you all like this one... i post a funnier one later... i got to go right now.... Damn working two jobs is going to kill me.... lol..............  ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Suga Foot

  • Hennessy Chaser
  • Made
  • Muthafuckin' Don!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10713
  • Thanked: 5 times
  • Karma: 550
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2001, 01:02:23 PM »
that's funny as fuck
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Dogg_Pound_Gangsta

  • Guest
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2001, 01:52:00 PM »
LMAO!!!


Peace
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

DreSnoop00

  • Muthafuckin' Don!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2447
  • Karma: 32
Re: Men's and Women's english
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2001, 01:53:24 PM »
lol damn thats some funny TRUE shit
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »