Dear Santa Letters- FUNNY

[Suga Foot]

Dogg_Pound_Gangsta sent me this:


Letters to Santa If Santa answered his mail honestly.........
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
> >
> > Yer Frend, BiLLy
> >
> > Dear Billy,
> >
> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
> > send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
> > your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > The only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
> >
> > Love, Sarah
> >
> > Dear Sarah,
> >
> > You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy
> > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> >
> > Love, Teddy
> >
> > Dear Teddy,
> >
> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane.
> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
who
> > rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get
you
> > some nice Lego's instead.
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum
> > kit, a pony and a tuba.
> >
> > Love, Francis
> >
> > Dear Francis,
> >
> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
> > your reindeer outside the back door.
> >
> > Love, Susan
> >
> > Dear Susan,
> >
> > M ilk gives me diarrhea and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face
when
> > I m riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle
of
> > scotch.
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
> >
> > Your friend, Thomas
> >
> > Dear Thomas,
> >
> > All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
> > most of my time making low-budget porno films.I unwind by drinking
myself
> > silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money
at
> > the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
> >
> > Santa
> >   _____
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> >
> > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE
> > could I have one?
> >
> > Timmy
> >
> > Dear Timmy,
> >
> > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
> > work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
> >
> > Santa

[Sikotic™]

HAHAHAHA  Santa's as real as you can possibly be.

I was laughin my ass off about the Scotch part and how he has a condo in Vegas.

[PinkTowelGirl]

LMAO!!!! dame thats funny....  

[bLaDe]

LOL Santa iz Gangsta

 -bLaDe

[Dogg_Pound_Gangsta]

u have a carrer in lawn care.  thats tru cuz my step dad is a dumbass and quit school and now he works at a golf course.


Peace

[bez]

Jesus I laffed so much at those.  I mite save em.

[DreSnoop00]

lol thats some funny shit.. oh well every kid gotta face the real santa in someway like that