Author Topic: Trauma's Official List of REAL People  (Read 978 times)

Trauma-san

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Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« on: January 26, 2003, 01:00:37 AM »
Here's my official list of Real people.  by reading their names, you should be able to figure out what makes them REAL but for me, being REAL means you don't give a SH*T what other people think, LOL.  Anyways, if yall have any to submit, mention them here, and I'll think about adding them to the list.  I probably forgot a ton of people too, but i'll put a little explanation why they're real.  Please keep in mind, that just because a person is Real, doesn't mean I agree with what they're doing, it just means that you have to give them credit for being pretty damn real.  

o.k., here we go.  

In no order:

George Bush - For trying to blow up other countries, even when the entire world is against it.  That's pretty real, he could cause the end of the world, all because of his opinion

Osama Bin Ladin - For dreaming up a plan to blow up two of the tallest buildings in the world, by wrecking planes into them, talking all that trash, then hiding for months in a cave.  I can't put my finger on it, but for some reason that's pretty damn real too.

Willie Nelson - For being a multi-millionaire, but only owning one guitar with a hole in it.  Also, for wearing braids in his hair, even though he's a guy; and then daring people to think he's gay.  Also, for making his own benefit concert to help himself pay off the money he stole from the IRS, lol.  Also, for being in his 70's, but still advocating marijuana use.

Frank Sinatra - everything he did was real.  He looked real, dressed real, talked real, acted real, though real, had real people around him.  His favorite color was Orange.  Enough said.

Bill Clinton - for having oral sex, then admitting it on t.v., then saying that by his definition, he didn't have sexual relations, it was just a blow job.  

Fat Joe - He's fat.  It's really, REALLY easy for fat people to be real, because they don't care that they're fat!  Anyways, he's most real, because he has a friend he calls "Fat Beezy" on mtv cribs.  He don't care that people think fat beezy is a funny name.  

Big Pun - For saying "I just lost 100 pounds, I'm tryna live!" then dying of obesity a few months later.  I don't give a crap, it's Real to do that.  

Hub - this redneck that owns a junkyard near my house.  When you go by, he's sitting in his truck, the truck has no driver side door, because somebody bought it from him.  Anyways, he leaves his house at 8a.m, and weighs about 300 pounds.  He sits in his truck all day, because he likes his truck.  If you go to the junkyard, he'll hear the dogs barking, and you'll hear put put put put put, and Hub will pull up in his truck, and go "what cha lookin' for?" LOL... at 5 or so, he goes back in the house, LOL.  That's real, he knows it's lazy, but DOESNT CARE! that's why it's real.

Daz Dillinger - For all the crackhead things he does.  Most notably for quitting the row, and stealing boxes and boxes of master tapes as he was heading out the door.  Once again, Knew it was wrong, didn't give a sh*t.  

This dude named "Stinky" that goes to the auction we go to.  Dude smells like PURE ASS, and everybody calls him stinky.  He still don't take a bath.  Again, I don't agree with it, but he don't care.  

Suge Knight - Suge's real because he actually tries, he actually even ATTEMPTED (when most people wouldn't have thought it possible) to convince the u.s. press that dr. dre once asked him how he could turn into a white man.  He knows nobody's gonna believe it, but yet he says it anyways.  = Real

R. Kelly - for getting caught having sex on t.v. with a underage girl, then saying it's not him in the video, when anybody from his momma to a 12 year old watching mtv could tell you there's no way it ISN'T him.  

Lots, Lots, and LOTS more real people.  If I think of more, I'll update the list.  Do yall know any real people?
 

Sub-Z

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2003, 01:04:27 AM »



<<everlast is real  just because he fuckin is god dammit
 

Trauma-san

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2003, 01:07:26 AM »
Um; no, NOT real.  Maybe later in life, though.  
 

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2003, 02:29:30 AM »
Here's my official list of Real people.  by reading their names, you should be able to figure out what makes them REAL but for me, being REAL means you don't give a SH*T what other people think, LOL.  Anyways, if yall have any to submit, mention them here, and I'll think about adding them to the list.  I probably forgot a ton of people too, but i'll put a little explanation why they're real.  Please keep in mind, that just because a person is Real, doesn't mean I agree with what they're doing, it just means that you have to give them credit for being pretty damn real.  

o.k., here we go.  

In no order:

George Bush - For trying to blow up other countries, even when the entire world is against it.  That's pretty real, he could cause the end of the world, all because of his opinion

Osama Bin Ladin - For dreaming up a plan to blow up two of the tallest buildings in the world, by wrecking planes into them, talking all that trash, then hiding for months in a cave.  I can't put my finger on it, but for some reason that's pretty damn real too.

Willie Nelson - For being a multi-millionaire, but only owning one guitar with a hole in it.  Also, for wearing braids in his hair, even though he's a guy; and then daring people to think he's gay.  Also, for making his own benefit concert to help himself pay off the money he stole from the IRS, lol.  Also, for being in his 70's, but still advocating marijuana use.

Frank Sinatra - everything he did was real.  He looked real, dressed real, talked real, acted real, though real, had real people around him.  His favorite color was Orange.  Enough said.

Bill Clinton - for having oral sex, then admitting it on t.v., then saying that by his definition, he didn't have sexual relations, it was just a blow job.  

Fat Joe - He's fat.  It's really, REALLY easy for fat people to be real, because they don't care that they're fat!  Anyways, he's most real, because he has a friend he calls "Fat Beezy" on mtv cribs.  He don't care that people think fat beezy is a funny name.  

Big Pun - For saying "I just lost 100 pounds, I'm tryna live!" then dying of obesity a few months later.  I don't give a crap, it's Real to do that.  

Hub - this redneck that owns a junkyard near my house.  When you go by, he's sitting in his truck, the truck has no driver side door, because somebody bought it from him.  Anyways, he leaves his house at 8a.m, and weighs about 300 pounds.  He sits in his truck all day, because he likes his truck.  If you go to the junkyard, he'll hear the dogs barking, and you'll hear put put put put put, and Hub will pull up in his truck, and go "what cha lookin' for?" LOL... at 5 or so, he goes back in the house, LOL.  That's real, he knows it's lazy, but DOESNT CARE! that's why it's real.

Daz Dillinger - For all the crackhead things he does.  Most notably for quitting the row, and stealing boxes and boxes of master tapes as he was heading out the door.  Once again, Knew it was wrong, didn't give a sh*t.  

This dude named "Stinky" that goes to the auction we go to.  Dude smells like PURE ASS, and everybody calls him stinky.  He still don't take a bath.  Again, I don't agree with it, but he don't care.  

Suge Knight - Suge's real because he actually tries, he actually even ATTEMPTED (when most people wouldn't have thought it possible) to convince the u.s. press that dr. dre once asked him how he could turn into a white man.  He knows nobody's gonna believe it, but yet he says it anyways.  = Real

R. Kelly - for getting caught having sex on t.v. with a underage girl, then saying it's not him in the video, when anybody from his momma to a 12 year old watching mtv could tell you there's no way it ISN'T him.  

Lots, Lots, and LOTS more real people.  If I think of more, I'll update the list.  Do yall know any real people?



daz would be top of the list id also add kurupt for going back to the row when he knew everybody else would flip

there is hope


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CharlieBrown

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2003, 02:50:04 AM »
Ralph Nader.
Charlie, lost his life right in front of the party...
 

infinite59

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2003, 03:18:55 AM »
LOL... Great post.. I loved the story about that redneck named Hub.  

Man.. but I think you may be confusing being "real" with being a "stubborn, selfish jerk".  Nonetheless, it was a very entertaining post.
 

Trauma-san

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2003, 03:29:22 AM »
Well, many of them are stubborn selfish jerks, but they're all still Real.  

CharlieBrown, what has Ralph Nader done that's real? (I dont' know much about him)
 

infinite59

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2003, 03:52:37 AM »
Well, many of them are stubborn selfish jerks, but they're all still Real.  

CharlieBrown, what has Ralph Nader done that's real? (I dont' know much about him)

Hmmmm............ I don't know man...... I mean..... they all do act a certain way that under your definition could make them real... but damn.. some of those things you describe really piss me off..lol, but maybe that's why they are real.  Yo, list some more Trauma, this was the most entertaining thing I read tonight.
 

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2003, 03:53:16 AM »



<<everlast is real  just because he fuckin is god dammit

REAL wack...confuzed fake ass rapper/country singer lol
 

Trauma-san

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2003, 04:46:12 AM »
Well, many of them are stubborn selfish jerks, but they're all still Real.  

CharlieBrown, what has Ralph Nader done that's real? (I dont' know much about him)

Hmmmm............ I don't know man...... I mean..... they all do act a certain way that under your definition could make them real... but damn.. some of those things you describe really piss me off..lol, but maybe that's why they are real.  Yo, list some more Trauma, this was the most entertaining thing I read tonight.

Well, Osama Bin Ladin pisses me off too, but that doesn't mean he ain't Real.  Also, Willie Nelson is a really nice guy, he's not selfish or a jerk, but he's still REAL because he does things his way.  See the difference?  


Anyways, here's some more, I guess


Some people just LOOK real.  Like I said before, being fat usually means your real.  For instance: Take Braddah Iz, the Hawaiian folk singer from the early 90's.  He was so fat he died from it, he couldn't even breathe.  He had a beautiful voice, and played a Eukelele, which is a really, REALLY small guitar.  Now, if you're THAT DAMN BIG, you need to play a sax, or something you blow into, with all that wind.  Or a standup bass, LOL or SOMETHIN big, Keyboard, something.  Instead, he played a Eukelele, and even sat the little thing on his stomach while he played it.  That's REAL AS HELL.  It's hard to get that real: you gotta be born with it, lol.



^^ REAL AS HELL

Now, some people, they do real things.  Michael Jackson: gets accused of child molestation, and then on his next album writes a song called "Lost Children".  Questionable, Yes. But still Real.  HE DONT GIVE A CRAP! He don't care what people think.  He wanted to do it, so he did it.  It don't even matter if the song's any good or not, just the fact that he did it is real.  


Some people are real for doing stuff they have no damn business doing, and they know it, but yet they still do it.  Ray Benzino KNOWS he sucks.  He's got to.  There's no way he doesn't know that he's wack as hell.  Making 15 diss records to Eminem, after Eminem DESTROYED HIM shows that he don't care about crap.  Benzino calling Eminem's daughter Jon Benet Ramsey is REAL!  I know it ain't right, and he knows it ain't right, but he dont' give a crap.  He just don't care... Eminem's probably gonna kill him for it, as soon as his parole's over , but he still don't care.  

Some people are just Real because of their aura, like Frank Sinatra that I mentioned above.  Everything he does is Real.  For some reason, lots of black people are this kind of real.  Super-real people like this include Samuel L. Jackson, Elvis Pressley, Willie Nelson, Nate Dogg, The Notorious B.I.G., Jerry Butler, Issac Hayes, Al Green, and Mr. Biggs.  This is the "Just look at that somofabitch he's real as hell" type of real.  As soon as you see them, you think "DAMN HES REAL"
 

Trauma-san

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2003, 04:54:29 AM »
Oh, and maybe this will help, as comparison.


Nelly = Wearing a band-aid on his face, when everybody hates it, and it's just annoying.  NOT REAL.

Eric Clapton = Being the worlds greatest guitarist, owning 10,000 different guitars, but always playing the same plain white stratocaster - REAL.


Ja Rule - Flexing his muscles in all his videos, knowing damn well he don't HAVE any muscles - NOT REAL

Snoop Dogg - Actually Believing he's a superstar 70's Soul Singer, and Touring with a band he named "The Snoopadelics" - REAL


So I think a lot of it has to do with just doing things because you CAN, as opposed to because you SHOULD.  Like Eric Clapton CAN play any guitar he wants, but he CHOOSES to play the same damn one.  Snoop could be doing anything he wants right now, but what he WANTS to do is tour with a band, which he could have named anything he wants, but he wants to put his name on everything, LOL.  Ja Rule flexing his muscles is fake as hell, because he's trying to be something he isn't.  Snoop's doing the same thing, but he's pullin' it the hell off, too.  He can be a superstar from the 70's, Ja can't be muscular.  Elvis shot t.v. screens with pistols, because he had so much money, he could.  REAL.  Nelly is wearing a band-aid trying to start a trend.  It's not working, it's gay, it's NOT REAL.... Benzino making a diss song to Eminem isn't real; but the fact that he knows he lost, and still keeps trying really REALLY HARD, lol is pretty damn Real.  
« Last Edit: January 26, 2003, 05:03:21 AM by Trauma Van Morrison »
 

infinite59

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2003, 05:15:34 AM »
Ohhh man.. that was good.... Trauma, you know we aren't cool with eachother and all... but this whole thread is great, very entertaining.. and in a akward way it's all true and somehow makes sense.. keep going.. or just Personal Message me with more real and unreal people.  You could do a standup routine for hours on this.
 

Koncept

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2003, 11:51:13 AM »
Koncept keeps it real ;D
 

bez

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2003, 11:58:06 AM »
I thought the list was fucked up.  U r basically saying well done to people  who have abused there position or caused or tried to cos shit on the world. How the fuck can you say Osma Bin Laden is real. What the fuck!
 

bLaDe

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Re:Trauma's Official List of REAL People
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2003, 12:52:39 PM »
LOL man, no one can convince a man like Trauma can, I agree with every thing he said in this thread LOL.. *clicks props*

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« Last Edit: January 26, 2003, 12:53:03 PM by .:[b L a D e]:. »
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