Author Topic: An Insite Into My Life! (Read 126 times)

bez · « **on:** February 05, 2003, 12:21:25 PM »

Here's a journey into me, still only a kid,
Lookin back on my life and the shit I did, it was stupid,
It was dumb, but to me it was fun,
Teachers couldent do shit, my Mum always stuck up for her son,
Gettin into trouble, school wasn't for me, yet I overcame the shit that was thrown at me,
Maths and English classes, dam even science do,
I remember teachers voice saying you'll only fail you,
Now them words make sense, my mind finally realises,
I could of been anything, but I hid under discuises,
Wanted to fit in, play with the big boys,
Wanted to stand out and be the joker making all the noise,
And thats what happened, I just became a joke,
I feel like hands helt me tight, gripped around my throat,
Kid with big dreams, still fightin to find the truth,
Why was I sent here, why am I liven, what is my use,
Am I another experiment waitin to be sliced,
Tears pour from my eyes when I try to sleep at nights,
I just can't find peace, don't know why,
But I'm happy being awake, cos you sleep when you die,
I'm not very happy in life right now as it stands,
I'm still reachin out, missin, when I'm tryna grab hands,
Things going wierd, can't really explain,
Jealous and envy right now is running through my veins,
I'm a happy person, get along with everyone,
But I can't stand in life thinkin I'm not number 1,
Shits gettin me down, hard to put into words,
I'm told I aint number 1, I agree, the truth hurts,
I'm a miserbale bastard, come home complaing about everything,
Why did this happen, why did that, dam why does everything,
Answers can't be told cos they just don't exist,
Only happyness I find is when I sit and remenisce,
Cos when I was a kid, life was so fun and easy,
Now I find it hard to have fun and belive me,
When your 17 and stressed out to fuck, you dont wanna find love,
You don't wanna have a hug, you just wanna be angry,
Its the world against me, every friend in a second turns into an enemy,
But it aint about love or hate, its just me feelin down,
Can't bare to spent another 17 years liven in this town,
Insomnia got me mad, feels like someone's holdin my eye lids open,
Now I just can't stand to go to sleep, cos I'm sick of hopin,
So I open my window, sit and look at the stars,
Once I saw a shooting star, so near to me yet so far,
Speedin its way across the galaxy, lookin down on Earth,
Littering our skyies with its magnificence, ruling the universe,
That was real to me, only recent memory thats amazing,
I feel like a bank robber, shootin, all guns blazing,
I remember thinkin, I could be anything, I could be anyone,
I could do what I want, but thats just no right,
Cos I forgot how to work, liven without a care,
Asthma hurtin my chest, can't breath in any air,
Lungs not doin their job, but I can't exactly sack em,
Wanna puncture them like tyrers but I can't let that happen,
Feelin all fat again, cos I wanna tubby as a youth,
I went through stages where I would kill for food,
I was like a human fridge, girls wouldent glance an eye,
Up to me to get in shape and I did it but why,
If females wont notice me for me, then wants the point of eatin all my food healthly,
Cos its personality that counts, a love a girl to be themselves,
Not lookin like they stole all the make-up of Superdrugs shelves,
I'm just lookin for my break, but I'm tired of bein awake,
I'm tired of my body functioning on nothing but hate,
I'm scared of myself, and what I might do,
That was an insite into my life, from Bez to you!