Author Topic: VERY VERY FUNNY ASS JOKES PART II(grand finale)  (Read 97 times)


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« on: February 07, 2003, 05:01:35 PM »
How does a Jew know his wife is dead?  The sex stays the same, but the dishes pile up in the sink
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?  * Half an hour of begging.
What does a Jew mean when he says "TRUST ME"?  * Screw You! [Picture]

How was copper wiring invented?  * Two Jews fighting over a penny! [Picture]
How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?  * They put parking meters on the roof!
Why is money green?  * Because Jews pick it before it's ripe!
Do you know how to keep Jews out of a country club?  * Let one in, and he'll keep the rest out. [Picture]
How can you tell the mother-in-law at a Jewish wedding?  * She's the one on her hands and knees picking up the rice!
Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?  * They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?  * Someone dropped a quarter!
Why do Jews have such big noses?  * Because air is free.
What's the definition of a queer Jew?  * Someone that likes girls more then money.
What's the object of a Jewish football game?  * To get the quarter back!
How do you lose a Jewish cop?  * Drive through a toll booth (cheap Jew)
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?  * A canoe tips.
Why do Jewish girls like prostitution?  * Because you got it, you sell it, and you still got it.
How can you tell if your limo is owned by a Jew?  * It has a pay phone in the back seat.
What's the best thing to do before a visit to a Jewish dentist?  * Count your money before he gives you the gas. [Picture]
Why don't Jewish soldiers wear bullet proof vests?  * Because they cant get a refund if they don't work.
How do you confuse a Jewish guy?  * Put him in a round room, tell him there's a penny in the corner.
Why do Jews have thick windows?  * So their kids don't hear the ice-cream truck.

What's the shortest book in the world?  * The Jewish handbook of business ethics.
What's the real American dream?  * For every black guy to swim back to Africa with a JEW under each arm!
If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?  * A fur coat!
Why don't Jews eat pork?    * They may be a lot of things, but CANNIBALS they're not! [Picture]
What's a Jewish dilemma?  * Free ham.
Why aren't Jews attacked by sharks?  * Professional courtesy!
What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when she learned she had an affair?  * Who catered it?
What's the difference between a Jewish bitch and a barracuda?  * Nail polish.
What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew?  * An elephant eventually forgets.
What's the difference between karate and judo?  * Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.
Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?  * Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?  * A WHINE cellar.
Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?  * So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?  * A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!
What do you call a Jewish homosexual?  * He-blew.
What do you call the Jewish mafia?  * The kosher nostra.
What do you get when you cross a Jew with a Puerto Rican?  * A superintendent who thinks he owns the building.
What do you get when you cross a chinaman with a Jewish mother?  * Someone who makes misfortune cookies.
Would you classify shindlers list as drama, or war epic?  * Neither, it was a comedy!
Why don't Jews drink?  * It interferes with their suffering!
Why don't Jews like oral sex?  * It's too close to the gas chamber.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple pie?  * An apple pie doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!

What do you call 5 Jews in the back of a truck going off the edge of a cliff?  * A waste, you can fit 12!  
What's the best thing that ever came out of Auschwitz?  * An Empty Bus.
Why Hitler committed suicide?  * Because he saw his gas bill. [Picture]

What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?  * He breaks his nose.
Why do Jewish bitches only sleep with circumcised men?  * They want 20% off everything!
Why do Jewish women go for circumcised men?  * They can't resist 10% off!
Did you hear about the Jewish child molester?  * He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the Jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?  * He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs
How do you know when a Jewish women has an orgasm?  * She drops her nail file!
How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?  * Marry her!
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?  * They like the part where the hooker gives the money back!
Roses are redish, Violits are bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas we'd all be jewish.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2003, 05:12:13 PM by ANTI-racist »


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« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2003, 06:03:35 PM »
im sorry but it wasent funny at all!


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« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2003, 06:05:51 PM »
im sorry but it wasent funny at all!
yeah....i mean it was ok


  • Muthafuckin' Don!
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« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2003, 04:09:20 AM »
^^did either one of u 2 laff at tha stupidazz Chinese jokes?