I've been gone a while, someone catch me up

[Wheres my daddy]

It's been awhile, but Dad still ain't around.  I hear he's begging for change on the streets to finance another guilt trip to Africa.  He's a broke ass bitch here, but when he goes to Africa, his $13.45 makes him a baller.  I heard he traded half a snickers bar for 2 goats last time he was there.