Bush has solution to global warming

[Immortal]

Bush has solution to global warming !

U.S. President George Bush amazed the planet today when he announced that there could be no reduction in greenhouse gas emissions in America. This apparent contradiction of numerous claims to 'environmental concern' made during election-campaigning has come as a disappointment to many Americans who had fully expected the President to tackle the mounting problems associated with global warming, head-on.

Insisting that after two terms of Bill Clinton as president "honesty is now the best policy for America", President Bush stated explicitly that as he was no longer campaigning for election he felt it only right to admit that he had too many friends in the oil, gas and coal businesses from whom his election campaign had received large contributions, to consider environmentalists' desires.

"America runs on energy," he told assembled reporters, adding: "and election campaigns run on cash. All that stuff before the election about how much I cared about the environment was just my speech-writers blowing smoke up this great nation's ass."

He did however offer some hope to worried environmentalists fucking sick of chickenshit world-leaders kissing big business's fat butt, and those hoping for concerted international co-operation aimed at combatting further environmental degradation and planetary temperature-rise:

"Well, for some time now we've been working with Russia, China, North Korea, Libya, Iraq and Iran. And one of these countries is going to help us manufacture a cold war, to counter the effects of global warming on my chances of a second term in office. We haven't decided which country, yet. We'll let you know pretty soon."

When pressed with questions about the urgency of direct action, now, on the environment, 'Dubya' responded with his world-famously warm smile:

"I hear you. But, heck, those forecasts of total weather disruption and global famine won't come true until at least 2050 and I'll be dead by then so it won't matter because I'll be in Heaven."

He then inspected his fingernails before adding: "Many, many, rich and powerful people feel that way too. And that is good."

The President then informed reporters that he had to go and order a gigantic new weapons system and that they were to all to "have a nice day now.

[Don Seer]

lol yeah right

[Woodrow]

Key Initiatives in the President's State of the Union Message

President Bush announced a $1.2 billion hydrogen fuel initiative to reverse America's growing dependence on foreign oil by developing the technology for commercially viable hydrogen-powered fuel cells to power cars, trucks, homes and businesses with no pollution or greenhouse gases. The hydrogen fuel initiative will include $720 million in new funding over the next five years to develop the technologies and infrastructure to produce, store, and distribute hydrogen for use in fuel cell vehicles and electricity generation. Combined with the FreedomCAR (Cooperative Automotive Research) initiative, President Bush is proposing a total of $1.7 billion over the next five years to develop hydrogen-powered fuel cells, hydrogen infrastructure and advanced automotive technologies.

Under the President's hydrogen fuel initiative, the first car driven by a child born today could be powered by fuel cells. The hydrogen fuel initiative complements the President's existing FreedomCAR initiative, which is developing technologies needed for mass production of safe and affordable hydrogen-powered fuel cell vehicles. Through partnerships with the private sector, the hydrogen fuel initiative and FreedomCAR will make it practical and cost-effective for large numbers of Americans to choose to use clean, hydrogen fuel cell vehicles by 2020. This will dramatically improve America's energy security by significantly reducing the need for imported oil, as well as help clean our air and reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/01/20030128-14.html