I DON'T FIT IN: SOMEONE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS

[infinite59]

Trauma:  On the religion tip.  Your last post was tight.  But for myself, I didn't find god by proving that he existed.  I became a believer because I finally broke down.  I could no longer live the way I was living.  I had completely failed, and couldn't go any further.  I went to Islam for direction and knowledge of self.  Luckily I had read books about people, (Nathan McCall, "Holler If You Hear Me")  Malcolm X biography, Naaim Akbar, etc. and I knew enough about the religion and how it had turned alot of angry people peaceful.  I was very angry at the world and the religion gave me peace of mind, and knowledge of self.  
People get better when they realize that they are created by god.  And that they are special because they were created by god.  And then begin to grow in the likeness of God (Allah).
And also praying 5 times a day did alot for me.  I don't pray that many times anymore.  But the first month I did.  It allows you to reavaluate yourself constantly throughout the day, and reconnect with God, bringing out your higher self.