Author Topic: another keystyle  (Read 60 times)

abstruse

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another keystyle
« on: March 09, 2003, 05:24:25 PM »
mah bad about it bein small and stuff whatever, gimme feedback.

ya dont *realize* whos who till real shit-goes-down /
*sterilize* ya own mind till ya alone, wit no one around /
so how we truely know when a friendships-been-found /
unable to *prophecise* the period when friends-become-unbound  /
well that days here, dont come within inch, nevah stand near /
the brother-love we had, has now dissapeared /
we was close *spiritually*, finishin eachothers sentence /
now to know *mentally*, that you was all pretense /
hard to think mah beloved-brother /
is now my hated-*enemy* /


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|JEM|ILL|

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Re:another keystyle
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2003, 06:44:33 PM »
horrible...no flow...you need work kid.
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·SiNiStEr·

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Re:another keystyle
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2003, 06:51:13 PM »
not many multis, extremely hard to understand, ya had no title and u didnt get a point across.
u have potential just put yo shit together and get a new vocabulary.
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thats how we do..
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abstruse

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Re:another keystyle
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2003, 06:54:29 PM »
at least you honest. thnx for that.


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TheSheriff

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Re:another keystyle
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2003, 06:57:24 PM »
Not horrific, not great. Average 1.5-2/5

A bit simplistic