Author Topic: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread  (Read 177 times)

Mr_Loc

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The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« on: June 01, 2001, 08:17:37 AM »
okay every joke board needs one of these. let me get ya started:

Yo mama's so fat, Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!"

Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

.:N-Imy:.

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2001, 10:15:53 AM »
Here's a few I can remember:


Yo mama's so fat, first she filled the bathtub, then she turned on the water.

Yo' mama so fat that when she changes hands on her handbag, she has to throw it!

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

'Yo Mama's so ugly, when she was born, a fight broke out in the delivery room. There was a brawl over who got to slap her mom first.'

Yo' mama so ugly, she took a beauty nap and slipped into a coma!

Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death!

Yo' mama so stupid, she broke her TV looking for the TV dinner!

Yo Mama's so dumb, she went to a movie that said ''under 18 not admitted,'' so she left to go get 17 of her friends.

Yo' mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her tits fell off!

Yo' mama's so hairy, she was walking down the street and the dog pound picked her up.

Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked, each tooth has a sign saying, ''One mile to the next tooth.''
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Now_Im_Not_Banned

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2001, 09:02:49 PM »
Yo Mama's so fat she plays Hop Scotch like this "New York, LA, Chicago".

Yo Mama's so fat God cant even lift her spirits.

Yo Mama's so fat I slapped her leg and rode my surf bored.

Your Mama's so Stupid she got locked in Ralphs and starved to death.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

So Much Style

Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2001, 10:17:03 PM »
Hey, how do u have sex with your mom?

Slap her leg and ride the first wave in!

hahahah
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
So much style back at it again
 

DreSnoop00 (Guest)

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2001, 03:41:37 AM »
i only got one that i could think of...
yo mama' so stupid she stuck a phone up hr ass and thought she was making a booty call
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Don Seer

Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2001, 12:49:03 PM »
One for us from my mate ElNeckio

"yo mama so poor i saw her kickin a can down the street"  I said "what ya doing"  she said "moving !"

from some film my current challenge is to find out which one
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Don Seer

Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2001, 12:53:05 PM »
scrap that, i got it first guess... its from white men cant jump

here another i remember from somewhere

Yo Mamas So Fat, Bitch Fell Down, Cut Her Leg and Gravy Poured Out
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Mr_Loc

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2001, 11:02:09 AM »
heres some more, i got a ton of these:

Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Smooth

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2001, 10:33:33 PM »
Yo Mama so stupid, she saw a sign that said disney land Left, So she went home

Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Scribe

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2001, 01:30:57 PM »
Yo Mamas so fat she uses a boomerang to put on a belt.
Yo Mamas so stupid she fell through the window trying to iron her curtains.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
"Without The Elements It's All Irrelevent" Jurassic 5

"This world better acknowledge me I'm over ambitious
Do almost anything to rob a genie for his wishes." 57th Dynasty

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Just about the culture, the music, slang and jargon." Blak Twang

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Scribe

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2001, 01:31:20 PM »
Yo Mamas so fat she uses a boomerang to put on a belt.
Yo Mamas so stupid she fell through the window trying to iron her curtains.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
"Without The Elements It's All Irrelevent" Jurassic 5

"This world better acknowledge me I'm over ambitious
Do almost anything to rob a genie for his wishes." 57th Dynasty

"We didn't give a toss about money, fame or stardom
Just about the culture, the music, slang and jargon." Blak Twang

"Freedom Is A Road Seldom Travelled By The Multitude" Public Enemy

"If Ignorance Is Bliss Then Knock The Smile Of My Face" Zach De La Rocha
 

Scribe

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2001, 01:31:31 PM »
Yo Mamas so fat she uses a boomerang to put on a belt.
Yo Mamas so stupid she fell through the window trying to iron her curtains.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
"Without The Elements It's All Irrelevent" Jurassic 5

"This world better acknowledge me I'm over ambitious
Do almost anything to rob a genie for his wishes." 57th Dynasty

"We didn't give a toss about money, fame or stardom
Just about the culture, the music, slang and jargon." Blak Twang

"Freedom Is A Road Seldom Travelled By The Multitude" Public Enemy

"If Ignorance Is Bliss Then Knock The Smile Of My Face" Zach De La Rocha
 

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2001, 01:11:44 AM »
Ya  momma  so ugly  she  came out the haunted house with a paycheck

Ya momma  so  fuckin  fat   her picture on the wall fell off .

Ya momma  so ugly  she  made  Patrick Ewing  say ...... " Damn bitch you ugly !!"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

bLaDe

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2001, 01:42:08 AM »
I forgot sum but here da ones i remmeber:

Yo mamas so hairy, she shaves her legs wid da lawn mower

Yo mamas so fat, when she wuz lyin on da beach, green peace 'THREW HER BACK IN'

YO mamas so fat, when she went bunjee jumpin wid a yellow dress on, everyone said 'O look da suns cuming down'

Yo mamas so sstupid she went bunjee jumpin wid out da rope

Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

Yo mamas so big when she sits around the house, she 'SITS AROUND DA HOUSE'

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy"

Yo momma so fat when she bunjie jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry


Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince


Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!


LMAO

 -{bLaDe}
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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TheSheriff

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2001, 08:36:01 AM »
Yo mama so fat, she had to use the loading door at K-Mart.

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Hittman

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2001, 10:21:13 AM »
Yo Mamas House Is So Small That When She Orders A Large Pizza She Has To Eat It Outside.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

ROCCY

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2001, 11:13:16 AM »
Yo moma is soo fat when she wore yellow people yelled Taxi..

Yo mama is so stupid she thought taco bell was a phone company..

Yo moma is soo fat they paid her to go to sea world..
 

Lil Jay

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #17 on: October 30, 2001, 11:58:38 AM »
shit you all posted some nasty shit

;D ;D ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #18 on: October 30, 2001, 05:21:02 PM »
your mama is so ugly, when she walk into taco bell, everybody crossed the border

your mama is so stupid, she thought quarterback was a refund

your mama is so fat, she played pool with the planets

your mama is so fat, she was baptized in the sea world

your mama is so fat, her belt size is equator

your mama is so UGLY, when she looked outside of her window, she got arrested for mooning

your mama is so big, after i fucked the bitch, i had to roll over 3 times just to get to the other side of the bed

your mama is so fat, she has a VCR for a beeper

your mama is so poor, i went to her house and accidently stepped on the cigarette light and she yelled "hey who turned off the heat/light"

your mama is so poor, i went to her house and ask to use the bathroom and she told me to USE THE CORNER!!

your mama is so fat, she is on both sides of the family

your mama is so fat, she has her own zip code

your mama is so stupid, she was LOCKED IN THE 24 HOUR STORE!!

your mama is so poor, i saw her around the garbage cans, i asked her what she was doing? she said shopping!!!




some other jokes thats related:

your penis is so small, you couldn't break a cherrio

your penis is so small, it looks like you have 2 belly buttons!!!
 

life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #19 on: October 30, 2001, 06:24:25 PM »
Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.  
Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.  
Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.  
Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.  
Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.  
Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.  
Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.  
Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.  
Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.  
Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"  
Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.  
Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!  
Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.  
Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.  
Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.  
Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.  
Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #20 on: October 30, 2001, 06:27:25 PM »
Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.  
Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.  
Yo mama's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.  
Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.  
Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."  
Yo mama's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."  
Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.  
Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!  
Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.  
Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.  
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"  
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"  
Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #21 on: October 30, 2001, 06:28:17 PM »
Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.  
Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.  
Yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.  
Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.  
Yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.  
Yo mama's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.  
Yo mama's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.  
Yo mama's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.  
Yo mama's so old, she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.  
Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.  
Yo mama's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.  
Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.  
Yo mama's so old, she used to gang bang with the Flintstone's.  
Yo mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.  
Yo mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.  
Yo mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #22 on: October 30, 2001, 06:28:49 PM »
Yo mama is so hairy if she could fly she'd look like a magic carpet.
Yo mama is so hairy she looks  like Bigfoot wearing a tank top.
Yo mama is so hairy her armpits look like she got Don King in a headlock.
Yo mama is so hairy her armpits look like she's got buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama is so hairy I took her to the pet shop and they locked her in a cage.
Yo mama is so hairy she had little afros on her nipples.
Yo mama is so hairy she's a stunt double for Chewbacca on Star Wars.
Yo mama's so hairy her breasts look like coconuts.
Yo mama is so hairy she shaves with a weedwacker.
Yo mama is so hairy she's got dreadlocks on her back.
Yo mama is so hairy she got a trim and lost ten pounds.
Yo mama is so hairy she spread her legs and said "we're going to Bush Gardens."
Yo mama's chest hair is so long, it grows all the way down to her dick.
Yo mama's so hairy she got shot during hunting season.
Yo mama's so hairy her dick looks like the Lion King.
Yo mamas lips are so hairy she wears it in corn rows.
Yo mama is so hairy her website is moms.hairy.com
Yo mama's hair is so nappy it looks like a mop on crack.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

life_i_lead

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Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #23 on: October 30, 2001, 06:29:26 PM »
Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."  
Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levi's?"  
Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.  
Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.  
Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.  
Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quater back, she gave me Dan Marino.  
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.  
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.  
Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.  
Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.  
Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.  
Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.  
Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.  
Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.  
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.  
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.  
Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".  
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"  
Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running to the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."  
Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know".  
Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thailand was a men's clothing store.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the Internet was something you catch fish with.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's so..."  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"  
Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."  
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit.  
Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.  
Yo mama's so stupid, the bitch snuck on the bus and paid to get off.  
Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.  
Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."  
Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled Macy's wrong."  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."  
Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."  
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.  
Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.  
Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.  
Yo mama's so stupid, you can tell when she's used the computer because there's White Out all over the screen.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

life_i_lead

  • Guest
Re: The Official 'YO MAMA' thread
« Reply #24 on: October 30, 2001, 06:30:22 PM »
Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.  
Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!  
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.  
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.  
Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.  
Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.  
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.  
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."  
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."  
Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.  
Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.  
Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.  
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.  
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.  
Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.  
Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."  
Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.  
Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.  
Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.  
Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.  
Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"  
Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!  
Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"  
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.  
Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.  
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.  
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.  
Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!  
Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.  
Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.  
Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.  
Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!  
Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"  
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.  
Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"  
Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.  
Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.  
Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.  
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.  
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass.  
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.  
Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.  
Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.  
Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a fuckin' dog.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »