The Dayton BBQ 2013: Royal visit.

[Heinz]

   Every year my family gets together for a weekend of good food, good music, and good times.
It's a diverse crowd consisting of Jews, Gypsies, Creoles, Jamaicans and various other suspects..
This year the event was hosted at my house in Dayton.
In addition to my uncle in law Polykarp, three more royal visitors also came to stay:
Julie Delpy and her son Leo, and Pete Dorset who many of you might know as King Petey from the forum.
Petey came in on Thursday night just before 10 and it was an honor to finally meet him.
I used to be part of his forum Da-Sauce where I had many good moments indulging in my nonsense and social experiments.
His stature is quite overwhelming as he towers more than 6 feet above ground. But his gentle person quickly dispels any reservations one might have from his physical appearance.
He brought with him a great gift : one of his hilarious MS Paint drawings, one he had done of yours truly.
It has already been put on the living room wall and will surely bring much joy to us in the family and future visitors.
As I had heard he collected watches I gave him an old Panerai that I thought he might like. He seemed to appreciate it and that made me happy.
The kids took to him immediately. My daughter Elvira who has inherited her great grandmothers gift of reading palms was quick to put him on the couch inspecting his giant palms.
What she saw I will keep private but I can say it did make her cheerful.
My son Emanuel rode around piggyback with him until he fell asleep ontop of his shoulders.
I showed Petey to his bedroom after he had gotten some homemade samosas and rosemary lemonade.

Friday I had to do some work so I gave Petey some recommendations on what to do while in Dayton.
I told my chauffeur Clarence to take him wherever he wanted to go after dropping me off at my office.
We met up again in the afternoon and decided to go out for dinner with my family.
My children are great fans of sushi so we decided to go to Akashi's down on Harshmans.
The owner is respective of my kosher needs there and always gives me excellent service, the food is also delicious.
Filled to the brim Esmi and the kids went back home while me and Petey decided to go shoot some pool over at Belmont Billiards.

While me and Petey are quite different personalities we got along well.
In many ways one might say he is my opposite. Where I enjoy breathing fresh air Petey seems to prioritize filling his lungs with potent marijuana smoke.
I don't think I have encountered anyone that smokes as much weed as he does.
And where he loves bloody steaks I am a strict vegetarian.
His knowledge of popular culture is more than respectable while I am relatively ignorant of those things but can quote obscure 17th century Korean poets.

His billiard skills are quite up to par and he gave me a run for my money.
We finished our evening by grabbing a pizza from Roost's just before they closed their doors.

Saturday morning we went together to pick up Julie from the local airport.
That she came I must partly give credit to Brian (Infinite on the forum) for.
I had told Brian the story of how I first met Julie several years ago in Paris and that we had stayed in touch by email since. Inspired by our conversation I started drafting a script for a project me and Julie have talked about and we began emailing frequently. And this lead up to me inviting her for the BBQ. I was very happy when she wanted to come and also bring her son Leo.
Leo is the same age as Emanuel and they really hit it off.
After picking them up I had my driver take us to my favorite sandwich place: Jimmy John's.

Petey and Julie got along right off the bat chatting like two old friends about everything.
I later learned that Petey had no idea who she was as he hadn't seen any of her movies...
This provided a more relaxed atmosphere so I am glad I made no mention of it.
Me and Leo went to a store and bought some water balloons that we filled in the restroom.
On our journey back to the house we threw them at cars passing in the other lane.
I am not sure if Julie approved of my mischievous behavior with Leo but Leo sure had the time of his life.
Back at the house Julie and Leo got settled in their bedroom. But after about two minutes spent with Emanuel, Emanuel wanted Leo to stay in his room.
Leo did not object and they both ran around screaming and jumping with joy when we said that they could.
Julie was graceful with helping my wife Esmi with the preparation of the food for the BBQ feast.
As more than 50 people were expected it took some planning and execution.
Due to my faith I don't do any labor on the shabbath (how convenient) so me and Petey decided to go visit my brother Wolfgang who lives a few blocks away.

Wolfgang was badly hurt in a train crash some years ago paralyzing him from the waist down and losing his left arm. My martial arts master Ching Pong Liu passed away in the same accident.
Having a strong positive attitude Wolfgang has made the best of the situation and is now a table tennis coach for the US Paralympics team. He is also a master calligrapher.
Having been introduced to the art of meditation by my late Master I believe helped him overcome many difficulties as well as finding enjoyment inside of himself instead of through external stimuli.

Having shared a few stories about Master Liu, Wolfgang and myself decided to take Petey to a mausoleum we had erected in his memory at the local grave yard.
We went there and paid our respect before heading over to Crowne Plaza Hotel to meet up with several family members.
Petey had heard that our distant cousin Rickshaw would be there and I think he had looked forward to meeting up with him being a fan of his music.
Rickshaw is our nickname for Bushwick Bill by the way.
I don't get along with Rickshaw that well so I tend to avoid him when we have our get togethers.
When he drinks and does drugs he loses control and since I am a teetotaller I am not the best company for people like that… and as you will learn from later in the story I have a reason to be sceptical of him.
Petey hit it off with him and decided the spend the afternoon with him and come later in the evening when the BBQ would start. Neither I nor Wolfgang minded that.

The BBQ was a joyful event with delicious food and amazing accordion music.
I think Petey's highlight must have been when Polykarp played the accordion and Rickshaw was rappin' "Damn it feels good to be a Gangsta"  while Petey was beatboxing. He glowed like a little kid after that.
Rickshaw also did a spoken word version of "Ever so clear" that made many shed a tear (not Petey of course since he is a man's man   ).
At around 11 PM the party started to slow down and the kids were put to bed.
Julie, Polykarp, Rickshaw and Petey wanted to continue the festivities and since they all have a love for intoxication I decided we better take a trip elsewhere.
Julie had brought with her some bottles of absinth and Petey some illegal substances.
I had our taxi driver takes us to a rollerskating rink outside the city, its an all night affair and known for its interesting clientel and choice of music. I know the owner Dallas so thought it a good idea.

Did it turn out to be a good idea?
I don't think I need to answer that question but let the story speak for itself.

Everyone high off their asses on shrooms and drunk off absinth on roller-skates has its comedic value but when they start mistaking the disco lights for laser beams from outer space it turns crazy.
This is what Petey and Polykarp did… Knocking people over screaming Darth Vader was trying to kill them.
Rickshaw was convinced that some poor guy was Newth Gingritch (whom he hates with a passion) and kept following him around the rink cursing him out while trying to kick him in the shin.
Julie ended up in the midst of some biker-gang known to be trouble makers.
Dallas came over to me and kindly I asked us to leave his venue…making me feel ashamed for bringing them.
I managed to retrieve Petey, Polykarp and Rickshaw and place them in a taxi before going inside to fetch Julie.
The bikers did not seem to appreciate me asking her to leave with me and started puffing their chests out like cocks while slinging obscenities and insults in my face.
Its nothing new to me so I have no problem keeping my composure.
I got Julie on her feet and started walking to the door. The bikers started throwing coins at me making clown jokes… When Julie had been placed in the car with the others I handed them my jacket and went back inside to the bikers for some fun of my own. I singled out the leader of the pack and challenged him to a fight one on one.
Stupidly he accepted… ignorant of my extensive martial arts skills.
When a grown man, full of tattoos, 6 foot 3 tall, 270 pounds is humiliated and crying in front of his crew its the death of him. Especially when it is done by someone 120 pounds and barely 4 foot tall.
But it was well deserved and probably would teach him a lesson for the future.

Back in the car I was to regret having left my jacket with such an intoxicated lot.
Rickshaw and Petey had found my phone and snooped around my numbers.
They found both Kanye and Will Smith's private numbers on there and decided that they would prank call them. This I learned of the next day when both Kanye and Will called me up to ask who had used my phone. When I told them the story they both laughed at it and Kanye said he would like to do something with Rickshaw in the future so I gave him his number. Not sure if either Petey or Rickshaw has any recollection of doing this...

Rickshaw was beginning to be a nuisance from all the alcohol and drugs.
Him and Petey kept bugging me about getting high with them. Petey kept it at a humorous level but as always Rickshaw doesn't know when to stop and started belittling my principles and faith…
So I hit him with a finger stab to a pressure point which made him pass out for a while.
This made the taxi ride back to Dayton a rather pleasant and peaceful affair.
When he woke up he was determined to find some prostitutes and have more fun.
Julie had fallen asleep so I decided it best to take her home as Polykarp and Petey wanted to join Rickshaw for a midnight adventure.
I called one of my old friends named Kip and had him meet them and look out for them.
Since Kip is a street cat with all sorts of contacts I felt they would be in the "best" of hands with him.
I left them and drove back to the house with Julie and got her to bed.
Such was the end of my night but not Petey's and I am sure he can elaborate on what went down after I left him.

Sunday I woke up early to do my prayers and meditation rituals.
Julie was in a bad shape from the night before so I gave her some herbal medicine and a ear massage that improved her condition.
We took a long sauna session with dips in ice cold water. This also cleared her body of toxins from the evening before. As one of the reasons she had come was to discuss our project she could use a clear and functioning mind.
Petey and Polykarp were nowhere to be found but I have long stopped worrying about other people so their absence did not bother me much.
Esmi joined us to discuss the project since it is a movie script of our unique love story.
The girls (Elvira, Eitana and Elena) went over to Wolfgang's house and Emanuel showed Leo his toys and also how to play the piano.
We had a lovely afternoon together and a fruitful conversation about the movie script.
Julie invited me to L.A to meet up with her agent and some producers.
Perhaps I will go there in the fall when my business obligations in Dayton allows for it.
It would be nice to meet Sccit from the forum if I do.

Petey showed up around 7 PM with Polykarp and Kip.
Polykarp had a black eye and was missing one of his gold front teeth.
Kip just shook his head and said it had been a wild night before he left.
I have later learned what happened, which comes as no surprise when it involves Rickshaw wanting to find prostitutes.
Since this story is already quite long I will leave it to Petey to tell what happened.

Me and Julie cooked a simple french/spanish dinner for us.
She had brought lots of french cheese so we served most of them as they are except the chèvre that I grilled and served with honey on top.
I made a strawberry/tomato gazpacho, grilled artichokes, lightly steamed asparagus and other small finger food dishes.
Julie cooked really delicious potato and onion "omelets" for the kids which they loved.
Tapas/finger foods is one of my favorites just from the social aspect of eating together.
A bunch of food is served and we all sit together on the floor (my dining room is japanese with tatami mats on the floor) in a circle. You take what you want from a bowl/plate and you pass it along.

When we had finished eating me and Petey went outside to the garden.
We had a nice talk together and he shared stories from growing up and of his family.
Also of his dreams of producing records for rappers. He had brought a cd with his beats for me but I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet. I promised him I would put him in touch with those I know in the business which are a few respectable people.
I even think he wants to collaborate with Polykarp and have him play the accordion on some of his tracks.

Emanuel held a short concert for us at the end of the evening and for me it was a joy to listen to.
He is a special child and plays almost as good as an adult.
And fortunately he shares my love for classical music.
Leo made a very nice drawing of me and Petey, when I get around to it I will post it up here.

With the kids sleeping the night was spent in relaxed conversation before we all went to bed.

Early this morning I said my goodbyes to Petey and thanked him for coming.
The kids were all sad to see him leave as they had lots of fun in his company.
I later took Julie and Leo to the airport so that they would catch their 10.30 flight to Newark and connecting flight from there to L.A.
Emanuel cried when Leo had to leave and gave him his beloved ocarina as a present so Leo could play it when he thought of him.
He said that they were now brothers. I think we all were touched by his kind gesture.

And such ends my story of the weekend.
It is in its place to thank Petey yet again for taking the time to drive all the way up here and spending the weekend with us.
You are welcome back whenever you want.
Hope to see you again soon.

With kind regards,
Heinz Ephraim Kesser

[J. B A N A N A S]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

[Heinz]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

No my wife is.

[Desert Lord]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

No my wife is.

cool. is she sinti or roma, homie?

[Heinz]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

No my wife is.

cool. is she sinti or roma, homie?

She is Sinti (Eftavagarja).
Props for knowing about the different gypsies, not many here would.

Since you call yourself the Funk Lord I have a question for you:
Do you have a live version of "I rather be with you" with Bootsy recorded in Japan?
It was published by Rykodisc in 1995.

http://www.amazon.com/Keepin-Dah-Funk-Alive-4-1995/dp/B0000009WG/ref=sr_1_8?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1372165179&sr=1-8&keywords=bootsy+live

If you have it on mp3 send me an email:
heinzkesser@gmail.com

[Desert Lord]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

No my wife is.

cool. is she sinti or roma, homie?

She is Sinti (Eftavagarja).
Props for knowing about the different gypsies, not many here would.

Since you call yourself the Funk Lord I have a question for you:
Do you have a live version of "I rather be with you" with Bootsy recorded in Japan?
It was published by Rykodisc in 1995.

http://www.amazon.com/Keepin-Dah-Funk-Alive-4-1995/dp/B0000009WG/ref=sr_1_8?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1372165179&sr=1-8&keywords=bootsy+live

If you have it on mp3 send me an email:
heinzkesser@gmail.com

yeah, of course i know! i'm half roma, brother

sorry, but i don't think that i have that "rather be with you"-version that you asked for...i'll look on my external hard disc drive for you later.

peace

[Heinz]

Wait wait wait, are you of gypsy blood?

No my wife is.

cool. is she sinti or roma, homie?

She is Sinti (Eftavagarja).
Props for knowing about the different gypsies, not many here would.

Since you call yourself the Funk Lord I have a question for you:
Do you have a live version of "I rather be with you" with Bootsy recorded in Japan?
It was published by Rykodisc in 1995.

http://www.amazon.com/Keepin-Dah-Funk-Alive-4-1995/dp/B0000009WG/ref=sr_1_8?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1372165179&sr=1-8&keywords=bootsy+live

If you have it on mp3 send me an email:
heinzkesser@gmail.com

yeah, of course i know! i'm half roma, brother

sorry, but i don't think that i have that "rather be with you"-version that you asked for...i'll look on my external hard disc drive for you later.

peace

What is your other half my friend?

Thanks for looking for the track its been ages since I heard it and I remember it being a nice live version.

Zhan le Devlesa tai sastimasa.

[Desert Lord]

other half is a mixture of east-european and german...born and raised in germany

[Fraxxx]

Seems like it was a fun weekend. Props for taking the time and writing all that down.

[Ghost Drebin]

This post makes radiotube's tracklistings seem like kids play.

[Fraxxx]

This post makes radiotube's tracklistings seem like kids play.

LOL

[Hack Wilson - real]

This post makes radiotube's tracklistings seem like kids play.

for real

pretending to be related to bushwick bill is pretty interesting lol

[Matty]

This post makes radiotube's tracklistings seem like kids play.

for real

pretending to be related to bushwick bill is pretty interesting lol

you guys are just jealous you weren't at the royal BBQ.

[Hack Wilson - real]

This post makes radiotube's tracklistings seem like kids play.

for real

pretending to be related to bushwick bill is pretty interesting lol

you guys are just jealous you weren't at the royal BBQ.

LOL

[Heinz]

other half is a mixture of east-european and german...born and raised in germany

Your make up isn't too far off from my own kids,
They are half sinti, 1/4 sephardic, and 1/4 black.

What part of Germany are you from?
I have been there a few times and really liked it.
Last time I walked along the Moselle valley/river from Koblenz to Trier and on to Thionville in France. The scenery was stunning.

Thank you for the Bootsy hook up nice to hear the track again!