Psychosis

[Ebony Zebedee]

So Im gonna write another poem to distract my addled mind
It'll probably suck just like the last one cos Im unable to find
The necessary inspiration that has me pickin up a pen
Writin a hundred miles a minute with no intention of an end

I hate reading my insane attempts at poetry
Can hardly string to words together coherently
There's no rythym
Theres no premise
Im deprived of dopamine
For the necessary motivation one needs to achieve

I wanna write bout handsome men and eyein em off from afar
I wanna talk bout being single and how I dont feel lonely or bizarre
Turning down the infrequent offers that eventually come my way
Cos I cherish my independance and dont wanna be used again

Rhyme bout booking dick appointments 2 years in advance
Knowing if I just went to the pub I could get in some blokes pants
But I dont wanna fuck a hundred men
Ive had 2 in 10 years
But in reality Ive slept with 17 and bein a whore is one of my fears

But then I think I could be a feminist and fuck Tom, Dick & Harry
Be as smug as a pug in a rug or happy chappy just like Larry
Cos even when I was celibate no cunt payed respects
Its just easier to stop worrying and determine what I'll accept

But you know what
Ive got morals
Of course Im not devout
Only had 2 serious relationships which leaves me with constant doubt
That I just couldnt compromise my safety and security for a man
On the off chance that he'd give a devil damn

Basically this is dribble like my daz dillinger poem
All I think is that hes cute but WC is actually the most 
The fact is that I think dub is married so I try to refrain
From calling him oh so handsome which I should not need to say again

I used to write intelligent shit
Burst of words just flew into my mind
The antipsychotics make me depressed and less inclined to describe
In poem or prose or whatever the fuck you call this shit
Im just desrtacting myself to try and not act all  skitz

I could do this all day
Write lame poems untill I fall asleep and drift away
Into that realm where nightmares roam and you wake screaming for help
But then you realize reality aint all that either as you look at the hand you were dealt

So basically corruption rules everything in sight
From inbuilt obselecence to the devils who rob ya every night

Ya cant prove its not fucking happening
Just like you refuse to admit
So I just console myself stead of begging for confessions like a bitch

Like I wrote all this crazy shit when I was homeless down in Melbourne
I layed the papers on the floor and simply stood there and beheld them
Then they called me to the office and so I approached as was requested
Where that idiot told me what I had written which tells me Im sane to be protective

Cos Ive already woken up to evidence of abuse
Have no fucking memories so anything could have been used
Against my persons for profit or pleasure
This was before I fuckjng snapped
Infact its quite likely what broke me sept my dignities intact

I have many untoward behaviour cos Im a frustrated lil bitch
Provoked to anger then reprimanded when these devils get their wish
To take advantage and exploit defenseless people for some sense of vanity and gain
At times I just wanna stab people for playin stupid fuckin games

Regardless of the ill intentioned maleducatos
I try my best not to react when poked and prodded by my foes
Then usually end up abusing completely innocent people
Cos I cant handle the added stress that comes with their evil