Author Topic: Negativity  (Read 54 times)

Eb-C

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Negativity
« on: August 21, 2019, 10:10:42 PM »
My poor, shattered heart breaks over and over everyday
For all that was left unsaid and all I shouldnít say
Canít turn back the clock
Canít save the fallen
So I pray
Dear Heavenly Father
Reward the departed and gather your flock whoíve gone astray

Iím fixated on negatives whilst people preach positivity
Just coz others have succeeded donít mean thereís any hope for me
Iím torn between the past and a future full of pain
Canít relive my life
Canít do it all again

Contemplating suicide
Tried so many times and survived
Tried to neck myself
Overdose
Slit my wrists
Jump from a great height

And itís not just my personal situation that brings me to live in doubt
So many are mislead
So many go without

They all try to convince me that I have nothing to fear
Yet my lived experience has made it abundantly fuckin clear
That Iím a  target
This all started so many years ago
Slowly and in increments Iíve finally come to know

I never imagined this kinda shit existed
I was blind
And now that theyíve revealed themselves Iím at a loss bout how to find
A sense of security
I thought purity must be the gift that keeps one safe
Then Iím reminded of the brideís thatív been defiled by disgrace

Trying my utmost to hold onto what peace is left
Be still
Seem my only compensation is popping fuckin pills
Theyíve labelled me insane
But itís all been done before
So Iíll just contemplate a horrific fate as I try to live within the law