Author Topic: Locked Up In The Psych Wards Again  (Read 222 times)

Ebony Bree Caple

Locked Up In The Psych Wards Again
« on: December 12, 2020, 12:07:22 AM »
Payin a cunt a compliment ain’t the same as payin mind
You ain’t worth the energy
Never mind the shine
You ain’t worth a dime to me
A dozen
Quadruple
Quintuple
Quit
Fuck it cunt
Ya handsome
Now you’re best to eat a dick ya trick
Got bitches bowing down desperately lookin’ for a master
Go faster
Harder
You’re a disaster trying recapture a youth that’s gone to pasture
I’m quite content
Didn’t ask for no fast handed fantasy
Keep ya pens and cages
Gauges are the only bangs for me
So my dear
Here we be
At the crossroads
I’m stock still
Institutionalized
My life
You’re just chasing thrills
I have to pop pills
I have to do as told
Or I’ll never see free again
And even then
You wanted a sunshine where I only saw the rain
So I figure
There’s no amount of hurt on earth could break my lonely heart
Coz I’m never fallin in love for a muthafuckin start
I might use ya for affection
I Might peep the story show
But I’m not slow
Quick to a occassions
Still
It’s all been done befo
Just me ya know
Low key
Simplicity
Nothing fancy
Just a fuck
Sure it feels good
So does crack
So does all that illicit stuff
But when push comes to shove
When shit be really wild
When ya go nowhere to go
Nobody calling up prince charming and his wife to save a life
So now you can be ugly because I’ve seen your deepest whims
I know all kinds of things
The lengths that you’ll go to to sin
And I’m just trying to wade in Satans shallows
Keep my head up in the midst of this tryst I call a nightmare that usually ends with a big fist
STRUGGLING TO KEEP IT REAL IN A WORLD FULL OF FAKES
 

Ebony Bree Caple

Re: Locked Up In The Psych Wards Again
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2020, 01:02:32 AM »
Can’t think of no one or nothin to love
Apparently my affectionate sides a joke to the tough
Apparently I’m a clown for having ideals where it’s ok to want something simple
Where it’s ok to feel
So fuck it
I’ll be rough
I’ll go back down that road
Where if some cunt approaches I’ll give em a load
Of resentment
Bitter hate
Despise them
Neglect
Forgoe the romance
Get ready to get checked
Disrespect every derelict that look in my direction
Coz obviously a celibate bitch gives a fuck bout erections
Only loony toons believe in a touch you can’t feel
And only idiots take on fuckin men made of steel
So I’ll kill it
Every part of me that wanted some soft
I’ll just act butch
Won’t be hard
I mean look at this dog
Might of been pretty once upon long ago
Fast forward cunt
Those days are long gone
Nevermind
I can do it
Be happy too
Coz I don’t need anotha let alone you
Been doin it my who gatdamn life
I’d have 7 kids now if I was meant to be a man’s wife
I’d have never worked a day in my life
I’d have never committed a crime
Sung or write
I’d have never been abused if it wasn’t for men
What the fuck was I thinking fantasizing bout them
It’s cool
I’ll just maintain as well as I can
Solo
One out
Fuck family and friends
Fuck love, hate, desire, envy and loss
I already know the cost
None of y’all Boss
I’ll go back to God
He’ll bless me
I’m sure
When I’m at my wit’s end
Feeling insecure
When they creep through the door as I’m sleep on the floor and rob me of what’s left then treat me like a whore
And even if God don’t save the day
At least they can’t touch him
So it’s to him I pray
A man I can truly look up to
Maybe God thinks I’m too precious to touch or suck up to
Maybe God sees all this and sheds the tears I refuse
For all the lies, conspiracies, manipulation, abuse
Maybe God will excuse what I won’t
Which is repeatedly being taken for a useless joke
STRUGGLING TO KEEP IT REAL IN A WORLD FULL OF FAKES
 

Ebony Bree Caple

Re: Locked Up In The Psych Wards Again
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2020, 01:29:24 AM »
I just wanted to be left alone
Repeatedly he’d ask what I want and I said I was happy with the thoughts
So many men have wandered through my mind
I wasn’t trying to find anyone
It’s kinda like being found
But I’ve been found wanting and others speak on my behalf
I’ve not evidence
Just a cold and collous heart
I can’t care
Because nobody cares for me
I try to invest
Countless times I’m taken advantage of mercilessly
So be it
This may not be a first
Yes it hurts
But it’s superficial
If I can just make it through this life
Alone
Rather than be dragged to the end
If I can make peace with God alone
If I can just save and savour all my love for me
Without calculatedly scheming on somebody else’s free
If I can just strive towards a betterment
As useless as it seems
Maybe God will let me in
Just gotta rid myself of sin
Like lust
It’s prideful
Thinking there’s someone who’d see value in my soul
Instead of profit in my pain and the stories still untold
I just gotta be mindful
Sincere
Staunch
Respectful
Hopeful
Chaste
Don’t matter what I look like
Matters what I go through
My suffering has paved a way for favour in the good eyes of the Lord
He knows I’m earthly
They just see hurting
They just see another flower to mangle
They laugh at my good nature
They berate my strengths
I’ll never satisfy them so why try
And the few good men who know my worth are best kept away from me
So many Devils hell bent on robbing me of anything that could help me see the beauty they assume I’d sell my soul for
I got nothing in this world I would consider a tether other than this life force that seems to be a liability
I don’t know what they’re trying to rob me of
They don’t Believe in love or God
STRUGGLING TO KEEP IT REAL IN A WORLD FULL OF FAKES