Justifyable Jokes (2nd Attempt) - 30/7

[.:N-Imy:.]

Here is my second attempt to try and get a laugh from people after my furst set of jokes were called week.

Joke 1 - One day, a boy asked his dad:"Dad, where's my name came from?"
His dad replied:"well, in our place, we all name our kids with the first things we see. like your bro, i saw blue mountain when he's born, so i named him blue-mountain; and your sis, i saw birds flying when she's born, so i named her bird-flying~"

His dad paused for a while, and asked,"why are you asking me this for, dog-fucking


Joke 2 - conversation between a mother and a daughter
mother = when a guy touches your boobs say don't
daughter = okay mummy
mother = oh yeap and if a guy touches your ass,say stop
daughter = okay mummy

one day the daughter came home from school and told her mother about an incident

daughter: = mummy,someone touched both my boobs and my ass
mother = and what did you do?
daughter = i did as you told me.i screamed DON'T!!!!!STOP!!!!!


Joke 3 - A US WW2 Veteran called Greenberg came in to this chinese restaurant. When the waiter came to take the order Greenberg slapped him. "what was that for?"said the waiter. "That was for Pearl Harbor" said Greenberg. "But Pearl Harbor was destroyed by the Japanese!" the wiater replied. "Chinese Japanese, all the same" he said.
After dinner Greenberg paid wif his credit card. THe chinese waiter saw his name and slapped greenberg. "what was that for?" Greenberg asked. "that was for the Titanic" the waiter replied. "but the titanic was sunk by an iceberg" Greenberg replied. "Greenberg iceberg they're all the same"


Joke 4 - One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children!"

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, "Come with us."

"But sir, I have a wife and six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall."


Joke 5 - A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go about and have sex for the first
time. Well, the boy was ecstatic, because he had never had sex before.
So he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist
helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is
to know about condoms and sex. At the register,the pharmacists asks the
boy how many condoms he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be
busy, it being his first time and all. That night the boy shows up at
the girls parents' house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so
excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside
and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The
boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes and
the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass
and the boy is still deep in prayer. Finally, after 20 minutes with his
head down, the girl leans over and whispers to him, " I had no idea you
were so religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist!"


Joke 6 - Britney and Christina were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks.
Christina: I think these are deer tracks.
Britney: No, I think these are horse tracks.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

[Ro J. Simpson]

not funny dude...

ive got some canny funny jokes but ive forgot em all...just off the top of my head...9 ethiopians round a campire...one takes a shit...wat do the other 8 do?...grab spoons

LOL my ucs told me that one and i was rolling around on the floor yo