Little Johnny's Sex Education

[Sikotic™]

***Sex Education***

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age, rather curious. He has been hearing quite abit about ''courting'' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.

''Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, the he turned off the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty son both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide towards the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I knew it was a fever, because sis told him that she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick---a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it with one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she got really scared--her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down by the lake by our house!!! Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eelss head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squeling and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead!! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats--they have nine lives or something. This time, sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.''

[Hittman]

lol@Little Jonny

Heres another one:

***Indefintely***


A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word 'indefinitely' in
a sentence. Well, Little Johnny has his hand raised in the back of the
class.

But the teacher knows he's a trouble maker and that he doesn't know the
answer, so she calls on Jim.

Jim replies, "Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely."
"Good" the teacher replies.
"What about you Jenny?"
Jenny says, "Since the bus broke down, transportation was stopped
indefinitely."

The teacher then says that the sentence was too much like the other
one, and she asks if anyone can use it in a different way. So there's
Little Johnny waving his hand. And the teacher thinks ... (Maybe he
really does know the answer), so she calls on him. Johnny stands up
and says,

"As I felt my balls slap off her ass, I knew that I was in definitely!

[Sikotic™]

[.:N-Imy:.]

LMFAO at both stories  

Poor little Johhny  

[Flurry]

hahahahahaha thats the funniest shit ever lol,
hahaha the eel was dead, hung limp LOL

[Tecknine]

I heard that shit before but it still cracks me up everytime...hahaha