Author Topic: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place..........  (Read 364 times)

.:N-Imy:.

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Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place..........
« on: July 17, 2001, 05:42:15 AM »
Ok so I tried the 500 post thing and that kinda failed because I got bored after like 20 posts or summin' so instead I have opened up this topic for the public. Like if you have a funny story or you wanna tell people summin' or your just plain bored and just wanna blether absolute shit in a topic then this here is the place to do it. Cause this is the "Bored Topic". I know it sound a little crazy but I know you'll post in it sooner or l8r.
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"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven" - Tupac {June 1996}
 

Don Seer

Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2001, 09:56:26 AM »
moo
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

.:N-Imy:.

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2001, 11:52:48 AM »

Quote

moo


Now see that's the shit I'm talking about.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven" - Tupac {June 1996}
 

Rud

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2001, 12:06:01 PM »
OINK

*O SHIT IS THIS NOT THE FARMYARD THREAD?!?!?*

SORRY!  ;D


peace
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »

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DreSnoop00

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2001, 01:34:51 PM »
lol
right now im chillin just got back a lil while ago and bought tha kurupt cd
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Don Seer

Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2001, 01:57:15 PM »
wibble
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2001, 02:39:06 PM »
Do you know when you go to sleep at nights that if you wake up with a bruise the next morning it's cause little small kangaroo's were punching you while you were sleeping. It's a known fact. They live under your bed. They be called Bekanmon (science name) which makes out to be Bed Kangatoo Monsters and they're like Pokemon only smaller and they can't shot electrivit out of their arms or blow flames from their mouth and they don't have a master that is the end of a cigarette, Ash. Their master is called Dave because dave is a boring and pointless name just like this story I just told you.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2001, 03:12:42 PM »
If your bored then read a book.

Ah, How about "Great Expectations". This book is so exciting it put me to sleep.

enjoy
------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

MY father's family name being Pirrip, and my christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.
I give Pirrip as my father's family name, on the authority of his tombstone and my sister - Mrs Joe Gargery, who married the blacksmith. As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like, were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, `Also Georgiana Wife of the Above,' I drew a childish conclusion that my mother was freckled and sickly. To five little stone lozenges, each about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside their grave, and were sacred to the memory of five little brothers of mine - who gave up trying to get a living, exceedingly early in that universal struggle - I am indebted for a belief I religiously entertained that they had all been born on their backs with their hands in their trousers- pockets, and had never taken them out in this state of existence.

Ours was the marsh country, down by the river, within, as the river wound, twenty miles of the sea. My first most vivid and broad impression of the identity of things, seems to me to have been gained on a memorable raw afternoon towards evening. At such a time I found out for certain, that this bleak place overgrown with nettles was the churchyard; and that Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and also Georgiana wife of the above, were dead and buried; and that Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger, infant children of the aforesaid, were also dead and buried; and that the dark flat wilderness beyond the churchyard, intersected with dykes and mounds and gates, with scattered cattle feeding on it, was the marshes; and that the low leaden line beyond, was the river; and that the distant savage lair from which the wind was rushing, was the sea; and that the small bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning to cry, was Pip.

`Hold your noise!' cried a terrible voice, as a man started up from among the graves at the side of the church porch. `Keep still, you little devil, or I'll cut your throat!'

A fearful man, all in coarse grey, with a great iron on his leg. A man with no hat, and with broken shoes, and with an old rag tied round his head. A man who had been soaked in water, and smothered in mud, and lamed by stones, and cut by flints, and stung by nettles, and torn by briars; who limped, and shivered, and glared and growled; and whose teeth chattered in his head as he seized me by the chin.

`O! Don't cut my throat, sir,' I pleaded in terror. `Pray don't do it, sir.'

`Tell us your name!' said the man. `Quick!'

`Pip, sir.'

`Once more,' said the man, staring at me. `Give it mouth!'

`Pip. Pip, sir.'

`Show us where you live,' said the man. `Pint out the place!'

I pointed to where our village lay, on the flat in-shore among the alder-trees and pollards, a mile or more from the church.

The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside down, and emptied my pockets. There was nothing in them but a piece of bread. When the church came to itself - for he was so sudden and strong that he made it go head over heels before me, and I saw the steeple under my feet - when the church came to itself, I say, I was seated on a high tombstone, trembling, while he ate the bread ravenously.

`You young dog,' said the man, licking his lips, `what fat cheeks you ha' got.'

I believe they were fat, though I was at that time undersized for my years, and not strong.

`Darn Me if I couldn't eat em,' said the man, with a threatening shake of his head, `and if I han't half a mind to't!'

I earnestly expressed my hope that he wouldn't, and held tighter to the tombstone on which he had put me; partly, to keep myself upon it; partly, to keep myself from crying.

`Now lookee here!' said the man. `Where's your mother?'

`There, sir!' said I.

He started, made a short run, and stopped and looked over his shoulder.

`There, sir!' I timidly explained. `Also Georgiana. That's my mother.'

`Oh!' said he, coming back. `And is that your father alonger your mother?'

`Yes, sir,' said I; `him too; late of this parish.'

`Ha!' he muttered then, considering. `Who d'ye live with - supposin' you're kindly let to live, which I han't made up my mind about?'

`My sister, sir - Mrs Joe Gargery - wife of Joe Gargery, the blacksmith, sir.'

`Blacksmith, eh?' said he. And looked down at his leg.

After darkly looking at his leg and me several times, he came closer to my tombstone, took me by both arms, and tilted me back as far as he could hold me; so that his eyes looked most powerfully down into mine, and mine looked most helplessly up into his.

`Now lookee here,' he said, `the question being whether you're to be let to live. You know what a file is?'

`Yes, sir.'

`And you know what wittles is?'

`Yes, sir.'

After each question he titled me over a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of helplessness and danger.

`You get me a file.' He tilted me again. `And you get me wittles.' He tilted me again. `You bring 'em both to me.' He tilted me again. `Or I'll have your heart and liver out.' He tilted me again.

I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him with both hands, and said, `If you would kindly please to let me keep upright, sir, perhaps I shouldn't be sick, and perhaps I could attend more.'

He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll, so that the church jumped over its own weather-cock. Then, he held me by the arms, in an upright position on the top of the stone, and went on in these fearful terms:

`You bring me, to-morrow morning early, that file and them wittles. You bring the lot to me, at that old Battery over yonder. You do it, and you never dare to say a word or dare to make a sign concerning your having seen such a person as me, or any person sumever, and you shall be let to live. You fail, or you go from my words in any partickler, no matter how small it is, and your heart and your liver shall be tore out, roasted and ate. Now, I ain't alone, as you may think I am. There's a young man hid with me, in comparison with which young man I am a Angel. That young man hears the words I speak. That young man has a secret way pecooliar to himself, of getting at a boy, and at his heart, and at his liver. It is in wain for a boy to attempt to hide himself from that young man. A boy may lock his door, may be warm in bed, may tuck himself up, may draw the clothes over his head, may think himself comfortable and safe, but that young man will softly creep and creep his way to him and tear him open. I am a keeping that young man from harming of you at the present moment, with great difficulty. I find it wery hard to hold that young man off of your inside. Now, what do you say?'

I said that I would get him the file, and I would get him what broken bits of food I could, and I would come to him at the Battery, early in the morning.

`Say Lord strike you dead if you don't!' said the man.

I said so, and he took me down.

`Now,' he pursued, `you remember what you've undertook, and you remember that young man, and you get home!'

`Goo-good night, sir,' I faltered.

`Much of that!' said he, glancing about him over the cold wet flat. `I wish I was a frog. Or a eel!'

At the same time, he hugged his shuddering body in both his arms - clasping himself, as if to hold himself together - and limped towards the low church wall. As I saw him go, picking his way among the nettles, and among the brambles that bound the green mounds, he looked in my young eyes as if he were eluding the hands of the dead people, stretching up cautiously out of their graves, to get a twist upon his ankle and pull him in.

When he came to the low church wall, he got over it, like a man whose legs were numbed and stiff, and then turned round to look for me. When I saw him turning, I set my face towards home, and made the best use of my legs. But presently I looked over my shoulder, and saw him going on again towards the river, still hugging himself in both arms, and picking his way with his sore feet among the great stones dropped into the marshes here and there, for stepping-places when the rains were heavy, or the tide was in.

The marshes were just a long black horizontal line then, as I stopped to look after him; and the river was just another horizontal line, not nearly so broad not yet so black; and the sky was just a row of long angry red lines and dense black lines intermixed. On the edge of the river I could faintly make out the only two black things in all the prospect that seemed to be standing upright; one of these was the beacon by which the sailors steered - like an unhooped cask upon a pole - an ugly thing when you were near it; the other a gibbet, with some chains hanging to it which had once held a pirate. The man was limping on towards this latter, as if he were the pirate come to life, and come down, and going back to hook himself up again. If gave me a terrible turn when I thought so; and as I saw the cattle lifting their heads to gaze after him, I wondered whether they thought so too. I looked all round for the horrible young man, and could see no sings of him. But, now I was frightened again, and ran home without stopping.












« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2001, 03:15:21 PM »
Chapter 2

MY sister, Mrs Joe Gargery, was more than twenty years older than I, and had established a great reputation with herself and the neighbours because she had brought me up `by hand'. Having at that time to find out for myself what the expression meant, and knowing her to have a hard and heavy hand, and to be much in the habit of laying it upon her husband as well as upon me, I supposed that Joe Gargery and I were both brought up by hand.
She was not a good-looking woman, my sister; and I had a general impression that she must have made Joe Gargery marry her by hand. Joe was a fair man, with curls of flaxen hair on each side of his smooth face, and with eyes of such a very undecided blue that they seemed to have somehow got mixed with their own whites. He was a mild, good-natured, sweet-tempered, easy-going, foolish, dear fellow - a sort of Hercules in strength, and also in weakness.

My sister, Mrs Joe, with black hair and eyes, had such a prevailing redness of skin that I sometimes used to wonder whether it was possible she washed herself with a nutmeg-grater instead of soap. She was tall and bony, and almost always wore a coarse apron, fastened over her figure behind with two loops, and having a square impregnable bib in front, that was stuck full of pins and needles. She made it a powerful merit in herself, and a strong reproach against Joe, that she wore this apron so much. Though I really see no reason why she should have worn it at all: or why, if she did wear it at all, she should not have taken it off, every day of her life.

Joe's forge adjoined our house, which was a wooden house, as many of the dwellings in our country were - most of them, at that time. When I ran home from the churchyard, the forge was shut up, and Joe was sitting alone in the kitchen. Joe and I being fellow-sufferers, and having confidences as such, Joe imparted a confidence to me, the moment I raised the latch of the door and peeped in at him opposite to it, sitting in the chimney corner.

`Mrs Joe has been out a dozen times, looking for you, Pip. And she's out now, making it a baker's dozen.'

`Is she?'

`Yes, Pip,' said Joe; `and what's worse, she's got Tickler with her.'

At this dismal intelligence, I twisted the only button on my waistcoat round and round, and looked in great depression at the fire. Tickler was a wax-ended piece of cane, worn smooth by collision with my tickled frame.

`She sot down,' said Joe, `and she got up, and she made a grab at Tickler, and she Ram-paged out. That's what she did,' said Joe, slowly clearing the fire between the lower bars with the poker, and looking at it: `she Ram-paged out, Pip.'

`Has she been gone long, Joe?' I always treated him as a larger species of child, and as no more than my equal.

`Well,' said Joe, glancing up at the Dutch clock, `she's been on the Ram-page, this last spell, about five minutes, Pip. She's a coming! Get behind the door, old chap, and have the jack-towel betwixt you.'

I took the advice. My sister, Mrs Joe, throwing the door wide open, and finding an obstruction behind it, immediately divined the cause, and applied Tickler to its further investigation. She concluded by throwing me - I often served as a connubial missile - at Joe, who, glad to get hold of me on any terms, passed me on into the chimney and quietly fenced me up there with his great leg.

`Where have you been, you young monkey?' said Mrs Joe, stamping her foot. `Tell me directly what you've been doing to wear me away with fret and fright and worrit, or I'd have you out of that corner if you was fifty Pips, and he was five hundred Gargerys.'

I have only been to the churchyard,' said I, from my stool, crying and rubbing myself.

`Churchyard!' repeated my sister. `If it warn't for me you'd have been to the churchyard long ago, and stayed there. Who brought you up by hand?'

`You did,' said I.

`And why did I do it, I should like to know?' exclaimed my sister.

I whimpered, `I don't know.'

`I don't! said my sister. `I'd never do it again! I know that. I may truly say I've never had this apron of mine off, since born you were. It's bad enough to be a blacksmith's wife (and him a Gargery) without being your mother.'

My thoughts strayed from that question as I looked disconsolately at the fire. For, the fugitive out on the marshes with the ironed leg, the mysterious young man, the file, the food, and the dreadful pledge I was under to commit a larceny on those sheltering premises, rose before me in the avenging coals.

`Hah!' said Mrs Joe, restoring Tickler to his station. `Churchyard, indeed! You may well say churchyard, you two.' One of us, by-the-bye, had not said it at all. `You'll drive me to the churchyard betwixt you, one of these days, and oh, a pr-r-recious pair you'd be without me!'

As she applied herself to set the tea-things, Joe peeped down at me over his leg, as if he were mentally casting me and himself up, and calculating what kind of pair we practically should make, under the grievous circumstances foreshadowed. After that, he sat feeling his right-side flaxen curls and whisker, and following Mrs Joe about with his blue eyes, as his manner always was at squally times.

My sister had a trenchant way of cutting our bread-and-butter for us, that never varied. First, with her left hand she jammed the loaf hard and fast against her bib - where it sometimes got a pin into it, and sometimes a needle, which we afterwards got into our mouths. Then she took some butter (not too much) on a knife and spread it on the loaf, in an apothecary kind of way, as if she were making a plaister - using both sides of the knife with a slapping dexterity, and trimming and moulding the butter off round the crust. Then, she gave the knife a final smart wipe on the edge of the plaister, and then sawed a very thick round off the loaf: which she finally, before separating from the loaf, hewed into two halves, of which Joe got one, and I the other.

On the present occasion, though I was hungry, I dared not eat my slice. I felt that I must have something in reserve for my dreadful acquaintance, and his ally the still more dreadful young man. I knew Mrs. Joe's housekeeping to be of the strictest kind, and that my larcenous researches might find nothing available in the safe. Therefore I resolved to put my hunk of bread-and-butter down the leg of my trousers.

The effort of resolution necessary to the achievement of this purpose, I found to be quite awful. It was as if I had to make up my mind to leap from the top of a high house, or plunge into a great depth of water. And it was made the more difficult by the unconscious Joe. In our already-mentioned freemasonry as fellow-sufferers, and in his good-natured companionship with me, it was our evening habit to compare the way we bit through out slices, by silently holding them up to each other's admiration now and then - which stimulated us to new exertions. To-night, Joe several times invited me, by the display of his fast-diminishing slice, to enter upon our usual friendly competition; but he found me, each time, with my yellow mug of tea on one knee, and my untouched bread-and-butter on the other. At last, I desperately considered that the thing I contemplated must be done, and that it had best be done in the least improbable manner consistent with the circumstances. I took advantage of a moment when Joe had just looked at me, and got my bread-and-butter down my leg.

Joe was evidently made uncomfortable by what he supposed to be my loss of appetite, and took a thoughtful bite out of his slice, which he didn't seem to enjoy. He turned it about in his mouth much longer than usual, pondering over it a good deal, and after all gulped it down like a pill. He was about to take another bite, and had just got his head on one side for a good purchase on it, when his eye fell on me, and he saw that my bread-and-butter was gone.

The wonder and consternation with which Joe stopped on the threshold of his bite and stared at me, were too evident to escape my sister's observation.

`What's the matter now?' said she, smartly, as she put down her cup.






« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2001, 03:16:11 PM »
`I say, you know!' muttered Joe, shaking his head at me in very serious remonstrance. `Pip, old chap! You'll do yourself a mischief. It'll stick somewhere. You can't have chawed it, Pip.'

`What's the matter now?' repeated my sister, more sharply than before.

`If you can cough any trifle on it up, Pip, I'd recommend you to do it,' said Joe, all aghast. `Manners is manners, but still your elth's your elth.'

By this time, my sister was quite desperate, so she pounced on Joe, and, taking him by the two whiskers, knocked his head for a little while against the wall behind him: while I sat in the corner, looking guiltily on.

`Now, perhaps you'll mention what's the matter,' said my sister, out of breath, `you staring great stuck pig.'

Joe looked at her in a helpless way; then took a helpless bite, and looked at me again.

`You know, Pip,' said Joe, solemnly, with his last bite in his cheek and speaking in a confidential voice, as if we two were quite alone, `you and me is always friends, and I'd be the last to tell upon you, any time. But such a--' he moved his chair and looked about the floor between us, and then again at me - `such a most oncommon Bolt as that!'

`Been bolting his food, has he?' cried my sister.

`You know, old chap,' said Joe, looking at me, and not at Mrs Joe, with his bite still in his cheek, `I Bolted, myself, when I was your age - frequent - and as a boy I've been among a many Bolters; but I never see your Bolting equal yet, Pip, and it's a mercy you ain't Bolted dead.'

My sister made a dive at me, and fished me up by the hair: saying nothing more than the awful words, `You come along and be dosed.'

Some medical beast had revived Tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence. On this particular evening the urgency of my case demanded a pint of this mixture, which was poured down my throat, for my greater comfort, while Mrs Joe held my head under her arm, as a boot would be held in a boot-jack. Joe got off with half a pint; but was made to swallow that (much to his disturbance, as he sat slowly munching and meditating before the fire), `because he had a turn.' Judging from myself, I should say he certainly had a turn afterwards, if he had had none before.

Conscience is a dreadful thing when it accuses man or boy; but when, in the case of a boy, that secret burden co-operates with another secret burden down the leg of his trousers, it is (as I can testify) a great punishment. The guilty knowledge that I was going to rob Mrs Joe - I never thought I was going to rob Joe, for I never thought of any of the housekeeping property as his - united to the necessity of always keeping one hand on my bread-and-butter as I sat, or when I was ordered about the kitchen

on any small errand, almost drove me out of my mind. Then, as the marsh winds made the fire glow and flare, I thought I heard the voice outside, of the man with the iron on his leg who had sworn me to secrecy, declaring that he couldn't and wouldn't starve until to-morrow, but must be fed now. At other times, I thought, What if the young man who was with so much difficulty restrained from imbruing his hands in me, should yield to a constitutional impatience, or should mistake the time, and should think himself accredited to my heart and liver to-night, instead of to-morrow!If ever anybody's hair stood on end with terror, mine must have done so then. But, perhaps, nobody's ever did?

I was Christmas Eve, and I had to stir the pudding for next day, with a copper-stick, from seven to eight by the Dutch clock. I tried it with the load upon my leg (and that made me think afresh of the man with the load on his leg), and found the tendency of exercise to bring the bread-and-butter out at my ankle, quite unmanageable. Happily, I slipped away, and deposited that part of my conscience in my garret bedroom.

`Hark!' said I, when I had done my stirring, and was taking a final warm in the chimney corner before being sent up to bed; `was that great guns, Joe?'

`Ah!' said Joe. `There's another conwict off.'

`What does that mean, Joe?' said I.

Mrs Joe, who always took explanations upon herself, said, snappishly, `Escaped. Escaped.' Administering the definition like Tar-water.

While Mrs Joe sat with her head bending over her needlework, I put my mouth into the forms of saying to Joe, `What's a convict?' Joe put his mouth into the forms of returning such a highly elaborate answer, that I could make out nothing of it but the single word `Pip.'

`There was a conwict off last night,' said Joe, aloud, `after sun-set-gun. And they fired warning of him. And now, it appears they're firing warning of another.'

`Who's firing?' said I.

`Drat that boy,' interposed my sister, frowning at me over her work, `what a questioner he is. Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.'

I was not very polite to herself, I thought, to imply that I should be told lies by her, even if I did ask questions. But she never was polite, unless there was company.

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2001, 03:16:33 PM »
At this point, Joe greatly augmented my curiosity by taking the utmost pains to open his mouth very wide, and to put it into the form of a word that looked to me like `sulks.' Therefore, I naturally pointed to Mrs Joe, and put my mouth into the form of saying `her?' But Joe wouldn't hear of that, at all, and again opened his mouth very wide, and shook the form of a most emphatic word out of it. But I could make nothing of the word.

`Mrs Joe,' said I, as a last resource, `I should like to know - if you wouldn't much mind - where the firing comes from?'

`Lord bless the boy!' exclaimed my sister, as if she didn't quite mean that, but rather the contrary. `From the Hulks!'

`Oh-h!' said I, looking at Joe. `Hulks!'

Joe gave a reproachful cough, as much as to say, `Well, I told you so.'

`And please what's Hulks?' said I.

`That's the way with this boy!' exclaimed my sister, pointing me out with her needle and thread, and shaking her head at me. `Answer him one question, and he'll ask you a dozen directly. Hulks are prison-ships, right 'cross th' meshes.' We always used that name for marshes, in our country.

`I wonder who's put into prison-ships, and why they're put there?' said I, in a general way, and with quiet desperation.

It was too much for Mrs Joe, who immediately rose. `I tell you what, young fellow,' said she, `I didn't bring you up by hand to badger people's lives out. It would be blame to me, and not praise, if I had. People are put in the Hulks because they murder, and because they rob, and forge, and do all sorts of bad; and they always begin by asking questions. Now, you get along to bed!'

I was never allowed a candle to light me to bed, and, as I went upstairs in the dark, with my head tingling - from Mrs Joe's thimble having played the tambourine upon it, to accompany her last words - I felt fearfully sensible of the great convenience that the Hulks were handy for me. I was clearly on my way there. I had begun by asking questions, and I was going to rob Mrs Joe.

Since that time, which is far enough away now, I have often thought that few people know what secrecy there is in the young, under terror. No matter how unreasonable the terror, so that it be terror. I was in mortal terror of the young man who wanted my heart and liver; I was in mortal terror of my interlocutor with the ironed leg; I was in mortal terror of myself, from whom an awful promise had been extracted; I had no hope of deliverance through my all-powerful sister, who repulsed me at every turn; I am afraid to think of what I might have done, on requirement, in the secrecy of my terror.

If I slept at all that night, it was only to imagine myself drifting down the river on a strong spring-tide, to the Hulks; a ghostly pirate calling out to me through a speaking-trumpet, as I passed the gibbet-station, that I had better come ashore and be hanged there at once, and not put it off. I was afraid to sleep, even if I had been inclined, for I knew that at the first faint dawn of morning I must rob the pantry. There was no doing it in the night, for there was no getting a light by easy friction then; to have got one, I must have struck it out of flint and steel, and have made a noise like the very pirate himself rattling his chains.

As soon as the great black velvet pall outside my little window was shot with grey, I got up and went down stairs; every board upon the way, and every crack in every board, calling after me, `Stop thief!' and `Get up, Mrs Joe!' In the pantry, which was far more abundantly supplied than usual, owing to the season, I was very much alarmed, by a hare hanging up by the heels, whom I rather thought I caught, when my back was half turned, winking. I had no time for verification, no time for selection, no time for anything, for I had no time to spare. I stole some bread, some rind of cheese, about half a jar of mincemeat (which I tied up in my pocket-handkerchief with my last night's slice), some brandy from a stone bottle (which I decanted into a glass bottle I had secretly used for making that intoxicating fluid, Spanish-liquorice- water, up in my room: diluting the stone bottle from a jug in the kitchen cupboard), a meat bone with very little on it, and a beautiful round compact pork pie. I was nearly going away without the pie, but I was tempted to mount upon a shelf, to look what it was that was put away so carefully in a covered earthen ware dish in a corner, and I found it was the pie, and I took it, in the hope that it was not intended for early use, and would not be missed for some time.

There was a door in the kitchen, communicating with the forge; I unlocked and unbolted that door, and got a file from among Joe's tools. Then, I put the fastenings as I had found them, opened the door at which I had entered when I ran home last night, shut it, and ran for the misty marshes.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2001, 03:19:38 PM »
And thats just two chapters of this 59 chapter novel.

A THRILLING piece of English literature by Charles Dickens.
;D :D ;D :D ;D :D
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2001, 03:21:04 PM »
Quote
BRING ME WITTLES BOY! WITTLES AND A FILE


^^^^^Classic shit
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2001, 03:21:12 PM »

Quote

If your bored then read a book.

Ah, How about "Great Expectations". This book is so exciting it put me to sleep.

enjoy


AIGHT AFTER THAT IM GOIN
GOIN AN AM ASLEEP

AIGHT GOT A JOKE
ER...
OK
RITE
WHATS THA DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WANK AND AN EGG?
................................
..................*drum roll please*
u cant beat a wank
haha tell me u didnt laff??
ok anuva1 .........
er........think laura think
oh yeah
wats tha similarity between a rubix cube and a cock??
....................................................
...........................*dum dum DUM*

they both get harder tha mo u play wit um  

haha aight u gotta av laffed........
er.....cant rememeber no mo as i seem 2 hav lost even more brain cells 2nite
lesson 2 all
dont tak eup kb if u want 2 b able 2 get a job usin yo brain cos after a cpla months ya wont av 1 no mo trust me i know

er.......well......dats da end of ma message of a loada bollocks ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2001, 03:22:08 PM »

Quote

If your bored then read a book.

Ah, How about "Great Expectations". This book is so exciting it put me to sleep.

enjoy


AIGHT AFTER THAT IM GOIN
GOIN AN AM ASLEEP

AIGHT GOT A JOKE
ER...
OK
RITE
WHATS THA DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WANK AND AN EGG?
................................
..................*drum roll please*
u cant beat a wank
haha tell me u didnt laff??
ok anuva1 .........
er........think laura think
oh yeah
wats tha similarity between a rubix cube and a cock??
....................................................
...........................*dum dum DUM*

they both get harder tha mo u play wit um  

haha aight u gotta av laffed........
er.....cant rememeber no mo as i seem 2 hav lost even more brain cells 2nite
lesson 2 all
dont tak eup kb if u want 2 b able 2 get a job usin yo brain cos after a cpla months ya wont av 1 no mo trust me i know

er.......well......dats da end of ma message of a loada bollocks ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2001, 03:23:59 PM »
Ah hell nah, someone slap me with a fish and tell me he didn't jus post some shit from a novel up in here. I detest books. They are one thing that put's me to sleep when I don't wanna.

I especially hate when we reading a book in class. I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up until all books have been burned.

The only books I read are people's autoboigraphy's like Scottish International Goalkeeper Jim Leighton's book or West Ham Striker Paulo Di Canio. Jim Leighton book is a classic and I've only read one paragraph of the Di Canio book so no comment on it there.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2001, 03:24:29 PM »

Quote

Do you know when you go to sleep at nights that if you wake up with a bruise the next morning it's cause little small kangaroo's were punching you while you were sleeping. It's a known fact. They live under your bed. They be called Bekanmon (science name) which makes out to be Bed Kangatoo Monsters and they're like Pokemon only smaller and they can't shot electrivit out of their arms or blow flames from their mouth and they don't have a master that is the end of a cigarette, Ash. Their master is called Dave because dave is a boring and pointless name just like this story I just told you.

WOW I DID NOT KNOW THAT
THANKS FO TELLIN US

AIGHT AM OFF 2 GO TWAT DEM LIL KANGAROOS BEFO I GET SUM SHUT EYE
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2001, 03:29:34 PM »

Quote

Ah hell nah, someone slap me with a fish and tell me he didn't jus post some shit from a novel up in here. I detest books. They are one thing that put's me to sleep when I don't wanna.

I especially hate when we reading a book in class. I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up until all books have been burned.

The only books I read are people's autoboigraphy's like Scottish International Goalkeeper Jim Leighton's book or West Ham Striker Paulo Di Canio. Jim Leighton book is a classic and I've only read one paragraph of the Di Canio book so no comment on it there.


hell yeah am feelin that
espesh wen da fuckin teach is like tryina get u 2 read sum fuckin poncy play "an inspector calls" wats up wit dat shit??an ur like 4 pages behind lol
ah shit he just posted 2 chapters lol
i only read books on kb like by pat o'keiffe an boxers biographies n autos like now am readin nigel benns autobiography.tis thrillin stuff lol, ah actually i aint read dat fo like 2 months imma go read it lol also sum book called er.....cant remember bout boxin er...... sum guy becomes a boxer over 2 years n its his story man i cant even remember who its by aw fuck it i gave up on dis brain a long long time ago
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2001, 03:33:35 PM »
Just glad I could be of assistance cause people don't know about them Bekamon's.

Also yeah I read "The Inspector Call's" last year and it was the worst load of pish ever. And the film on it makes the book interesting.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2001, 03:33:44 PM »
aaaaaaaaaaahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAH FUCKIN HELL!!!!!!!
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCH
FUCK ME OW OW OW OW OW
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

er......sorry am in great pain
man dat hurts aaaaaaaah
i fought it wud b brill idea 2 put ice on ma lip rite 2 bring sweelin down
well er........ did u know dat wen u put like dry ice on yo lip it kinda sticks?????
WELL I FUCKIN DO NOWWWWWWW OWWWWWWWWWW N RITE ON DA SPLIT AS WELL Y'OUCCCCCCCCH N THEN HAVIN 2 PULL IT OFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAH DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THIS
learn from this please aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2001, 03:37:26 PM »

Quote

Just glad I could be of assistance cause people don't know about them Bekamon's.

Also yeah I read "The Inspector Call's" last year and it was the worst load of pish ever. And the film on it makes the book interesting.

AHAHAHAH FO REAL??
THAT BLACK N WHITE FILM MAN THAT WAS A PISS TAKE N AT THE END WEN DA CHAIR IS LIKE ROCKIN ON ITS OWN IN DAT ROOM, HAHAH I WAS LIKE EH??SO HES A GHOST DEN?? FUCKIN BOOOOOORING
ACTUALLY I ONLY SAW DAT BIT CUZ I JSUT WOKE UP  ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2001, 03:38:42 PM »

Quote

aaaaaaaaaaahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAH FUCKIN HELL!!!!!!!
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCH
FUCK ME OW OW OW OW OW
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

er......sorry am in great pain
man dat hurts aaaaaaaah
i fought it wud b brill idea 2 put ice on ma lip rite 2 bring sweelin down
well er........ did u know dat wen u put like dry ice on yo lip it kinda sticks?????
WELL I FUCKIN DO NOWWWWWWW OWWWWWWWWWW N RITE ON DA SPLIT AS WELL Y'OUCCCCCCCCH N THEN HAVIN 2 PULL IT OFF AAAAAAAAAAAAAH DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THIS
learn from this please aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


Everybody know that ice stick to your lip if you leave it for a while. Man r u really that stupid? No wonder you were like 4 pages behind when reading a book in class. YOu sure it wasn't more than 4....... j/k  ;D
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2001, 03:41:04 PM »
Well if you go to bed then you won't be bored.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #23 on: July 17, 2001, 03:41:52 PM »

Quote


AHAHAHAH FO REAL??
THAT BLACK N WHITE FILM MAN THAT WAS A PISS TAKE N AT THE END WEN DA CHAIR IS LIKE ROCKIN ON ITS OWN IN DAT ROOM, HAHAH I WAS LIKE EH??SO HES A GHOST DEN?? FUCKIN BOOOOOORING
ACTUALLY I ONLY SAW DAT BIT CUZ I JSUT WOKE UP  ;D



THE INSPECTOR IS A GHOST??????  :o :o :o :o :o

I always had him pencilled in as "The Ghost Of Christmas Past". Dayum I was so wrong and way of the mark.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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Re: Bored Yet????? If So Then This The Place......
« Reply #24 on: July 17, 2001, 03:42:36 PM »

Quote



Everybody know that ice stick to your lip if you leave it for a while. Man r u really that stupid? No wonder you were like 4 pages behind when reading a book in class. YOu sure it wasn't more than 4....... j/k  ;D

AHAHAHA
u callin me stupid???
eh eh eh
actually u gotta point there

p.s say dat u laffed at my jokes, i betcha did
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 05:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
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