a tale from jake's doggy dogg world....

[Don Jacob]

i have alot of fucked up view points on life. some of y'all might agree with some and some may not. anyways i HATE mayonase!!! it's gross and smells like arm pit juice. i don't know why people consume this crap, god if you want the lingering taste of pit sweat in your Dagwood sandwich, run around the block twice and wipe your self off with 2 pieces of bread, hey it sounds nasty but it's alot healthier and it's all natural----no preservatives!  speaking of mayo ---that reminds me of a story, i was walking home one day with one of my friends, and he was telling me about his over weight cousin Lorenzo. he said that he was over there one day and his mom yelled "SNACK TIME!!!!" well lorenzo wattled his chubby self to his second bedroom AKA the kitchen where waiting for him was a lovely jar of Mayo, he said that lorenzo finished the jar off and started on the peanut butter jar. with those kinds of habbits gee no wonder the kid is senor lardo---gay ass heffer---it's not like i hate fat people  after all i'm no Ally Mc Beal myself, but HEY! i spent a good deal of time at Taco Bell Shaping my manly physique and to get where i am today, but i think that's good i can admit what i am, i'm a tad chubby i can live with that it ain't like it's affecting my sex life any   but i can't stand those piggy ass mooo cows who bitch and moan and make excuses, seriously i can't stand it when fat people say " oh it's in my genes...i can't help it!" BITCH  THE ONLY THING THAT'S IN YOUR JEANS IS A POCKET FULL OF FRIED CHICKEN AND A BUCKET OF LIQUID LARD TO DIP IT IN!!!
but you know what's even worse than fat people? fat MEXICAN people......i mean damn! i'm mexican but damn us mexicans don't get enough respect as it is but being mexican AND fat, c'mon now , you know them can't go to sleep at night with a clear concience.  but you know i gotta tip my feathered pimp hat to them fat black women  NO MATTER WHAT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE IN SOCIETY THINKS in their mind, they're THE shiznizit!
IN their mind EVERYONE wants them. they all wanna "ride that pony"  when the reality is this, AIN'T NOBODY GONNGA TAP YA ASS! for fear of a fucking earthquake. Bitch get it thru ya head that NOBODY wanna fuck you. They might get lost!!!!!!....lost of squashed! shit after a couple minuites you be sayin' " hey baby....baby...why ya ain't breathin'?"  ok enought about the overly robust fat...i'm starting to feel guilty but while were on the topic of fucking i feel it nessisary to tell all you men out there you NEVER wanna hear

1. "ok that's nice but where the rest of it?
2. " is it in yet?"
3. " Deep throat?!? it didn't even reach my tounge!"

Homie, if you ever hear any of those things being said about you i'm gonna tell you what to do. hit the ground and pray for a mirical and while your at it , get yourself some MIRICAL GROW! --mirical grow, viagra, and some milk---now i know half of y'all are lookin' at me like "this nigga's crazy what the fuck is milk gonna do for my junior cherry poppin' machine?" first of all i'm not a "nigga" ----wetback or beaner is more apropreiate and second MILK HELPS BUILD STRONG BONES!!
   one time one of my bitches was tellling me about her first time fucking (when she was like 7 or 8 ) well she said that her other pimp was a selfish bunny fucker....she wipped out a ribbed condom "for her plesure" and that camel cocker turned it inside out! selfish selfish bastard...i'm 4 real playas these days don't got no respect for a bitch , they got as much respect for bitches as the Head Dragon master leader of the KKK does for Wheezy on the jefferson's, they do shit to them that shouldn't even be legal. sendin' em out to go fuck while you sit on your lazy a-double-z watchin' some 99 cent porno pork fest and then when the bitch gets paid you take a good 60-70...hell somtimes a full 100 % that ain't playalike. i'd like to see you go sell your hairy poo poo factory then give the money away, but i guess it's kind of ok,  i mean you get the pleasure without feeling the pain, becuase by this time your so loose in the goose, you can't feel a damn thang AND you get your paper stack, so i guess prostitution has it's highs and lows....mostly highs since every hooker and their mom shoots up the arm like allen iverson shoots the basketball.
but to be completely honest ho'in shouldn't be outlawed until somthing gets done about them fat bitches...gosh i can't stand going up inside of a fat bitch and getting sucked in like a was a whopper with cheese---with MAYONASE...nasty ass bitches!

[.:N-Imy:.]

rotf-lmao  

Man that is sum funny shiznit you got there but it all true about the fat people and bitches. That all true.

[So Much Style]

good shit (thumbsup

[Don Mega]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

[Sikotic™]

I'm laughin out loud for real. You should be a comedian man. Thats some funny shit right there.

[Tecknine]

funny shit dogg

[Flurry]

HAHAHAHAHAHA U JUST DESCRIBED ME..........JOKE!!
LOL SUM FUNNY SHIT

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

That was pretty funny...we need more of these kind of topics on our boards...

[Doggystylin]

hahahha, jake sounds maadd,

jakes the "hardest mutha fucka from the Weeest Cooooast Affiliatez gaang"

[Don Jacob]

lol i wrote that out cuz i was bored in class one day and just started writing some stuff in my note book, so i found it and put it on the net...anyways i'mma hook another one up tonight or tommorow

[cremedelaclem]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hillarious.

[Top-Dogg2001]

lol, good shit yo