quick keystyle

[C-Bizz]

Imma clean up tha streets as if I was ajax, like way back/
In the days I was looking for payback, so I paid blacks/
To give them what they need, for the weed/
Coz I agreed, that there is nothing but the greed, and the green/
In everybody or being, im doing what you aint seeing/
Immaculate, its time to calculate the life leading/
And keep proceeding to tag teaming with my blood brothers/
To keep it undercover, you going down, im going underground/
Creeping straight to town, I didnt say I was a black boi, my skin is brown/
In case be, replace me, but you know you cant erase me/
Or fade me, my grace be, laid out so lazy/
You made me, but now im ghost like Patrick Swayzee/
Like a baby, I cry at night it drives me crazy/
But maybe there is time for me to recover/
I keep writing these rhymes, its just me and my brother/
Ignyte, its time to fight the hype, its your life/
Its not what your donig wrong, its whats your doing right/
And one day you just might, fulfill all your dreams/
Turn around and think nothin about the C.R.E.A.M/
Girls if you know you aint pretty, dont be mad, life can be mean/
There are ways for you to change your life and replace your face/
But id rather be with a real girl, a girl with real human grace/
Dont really know when you sigh, about what you feelin/
Coz life is hard, I been with niggas who do drug dealing/
Just to get a meal, and it goes that way, if you dont have enough money you know you gotta steal/
But its all about free will, its not about being out to kill/
Or to think your ill, dont be up yourself and face the real deal/

feedback please

(edited to add more)

[abstruse]

Nice keystyle man. I can see your skill is elevating from the previous keystyle you posted. Keep spittin, practice makes perfect... Ya should try workin on some multi's, they always help . Check out this link

http://www.dubcnn.com/connect/index.php?board=11;action=display;threadid=30431;start=msg349203#msg349203

[C-Bizz]

Thanks for the advice, nice to see feedback that can be helpful.

[abstruse]

No problem yo, juss here to help. Hit me up with some feedback on my new keystyle.

[Reef]

Abtruse pretty much hit the head on the nail.. I dont usually use many multiz so id be a hypocrite to say that.. but try and make it a bit more complex... shit is nice no doubt.. keep spittin