Author Topic: Life Story, Long or Short  (Read 790 times)

infinite59

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Life Story, Long or Short
« on: August 05, 2002, 10:28:39 PM »
As A Kid

Around age 10 I had a few bad teachers and started having problems at home.  I started to think that I was ever going to be shit in life.  I never developed any picture of what adult life could be like, I just knew I didn't want to be an alcholic like my dad.  

Jr. High

So I just played basketball, chased women, listened to music, and ran around all day with friends.  My jr. high years I truly believe were as fun and exciting as anyone elses, anywhere.

High School

Then highschool, friends and girls started changing for the worse.  So I latched onto this one girl I felt was better then all the rest and figured if I could be with her, then I could have a happy adult life.  After we broke up, I couldn't get over her.  

College Dropout

I wasn't getting any smarter, and my life was just heading downhill chasing after a girl I would never be able to truly work things out with.  I was failing miserably in college, just like I'd done in highschool.

Rock Bottom/Conversion

Then I hit Rock Bottom at 18.  I was at work one night and I sat down for a second and was overcome with an engulfing state of depression, that left me paralyzed.  I couldn't move, I didn't want to move, I didn't ever want to get up ever again, I just sat there, on the clock, doing nothing, in a complete daze, not wanting to live.  It's curious and ironic to point out that in this moment of complete hopelessness, only then did I finally have the courage to make a change I'd thought about making several times before.  And in that moment, I converted to Islam.  (Although not technically until I performed Shahada)  

Early Days As A Muslim

So I'm a hardcore Muslim for 2 straight months, mosque every friday, trying to convert friends, praying 5 times a day, the works.  All my friends pay it no mind and I feel all alone and alienated in my religion...

More Failure

so I try to figure out a way to be a Muslim and still blend in with everyone else.  I run into some more problems in life trying to start a computer business at 19 with a guy who I'd later find out was completely dishonest.  I began to lose all respect for the people in my life.  I lost some of the college money my grandmother saved for me in the business.

Retreat/ Starting Anew

I retreated back to my parents house fall 2001, to save money and try to get my life back on track.  I didn't want to hang out with any of the people in my life and I ended up spending most my time reading books, studying Islam, and hanging with ya'll on the internet, here at the WCC.

The Present

Now it's 8-5-02, I'm 20, close again with all my old friends, I'm cool with my family now, I'm doing very well in college 30 hours completed and a 3.0 GPA.  I'm out of my parents house, on my way to getting 60 college hours so I can substitute teach as a part time job.  I'm slowly running out of my grandmothers college money because a couple weeks ago I got fired from my nightstock job, and I don't have much motivation to start working again.

Who Knew

I guess things are good, just not what I would have ever expected in my life, I would of never predicted any of this.  Peace.
 

HBKid_Jr

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2002, 08:53:17 AM »
Quote
As A Kid


I guess things are good, just not what I would have ever expected in my life, I would of never predicted any of this.  Peace.


life is never how u expected.  its better not to think like cuz if dont happen tha way u planed shit than u get more depressed.  jus go wit tha flow
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2002, 09:10:37 AM »
AS A KID

Born in Kuwait, grew up there in a nice neighbourhood. Pops was making money, i was being educated in a private school.
Saddam sends his army into Kuwait while we're driving into Kuwait. Kinda sucks seeing Tanks pass by you.  Anyways we drive from Kuwait into Iraq (Airspace closed).  Have yall ever slept in the Iraqi desert? Yall should try it. Then we drive to Jordon where we live in utter poverty. Pops scrapes some money and we fly to Canada.

JR SCHOOL

Played sports and developed a sense of humour, developed my personality and gained some self confidence. Met alot of people Im still very close with. Went on vacation to Afghanistan after grade 6.

HIGH SCHOOL

Fuck, I ran my school. Had fun, fucked girls, drank, smoked weed, chilled, hung out, met aLOT of people.

And now Im counting down the days until Sept 3 when i start University.

So theres a VERY BRIEF outline of my life.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

- Lewis Carroll
 

Trauma-san

Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2002, 09:13:46 AM »
^^ You left out the part where you were persecuted by the Western Christian movement, thereby making u.s. civilian deaths alright in your mind.  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

infinite59

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2002, 10:26:57 AM »
Quote
^^ You left out the part where you were persecuted by the Western Christian movement, thereby making u.s. civilian deaths alright in your mind.  


Naw, you mean, he left out the part where he matured faster at the age of 14 then you have in 25 years!!!!!!!
 

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2002, 10:33:49 AM »
Quote
AS A KID

Born in Kuwait, grew up there in a nice neighbourhood. Pops was making money, i was being educated in a private school.
Saddam sends his army into Kuwait while we're driving into Kuwait. Kinda sucks seeing Tanks pass by you.  Anyways we drive from Kuwait into Iraq (Airspace closed).  Have yall ever slept in the Iraqi desert? Yall should try it. Then we drive to Jordon where we live in utter poverty. Pops scrapes some money and we fly to Canada.

JR SCHOOL

Played sports and developed a sense of humour, developed my personality and gained some self confidence. Met alot of people Im still very close with. Went on vacation to Afghanistan after grade 6.

HIGH SCHOOL

Fuck, I ran my school. Had fun, fucked girls, drank, smoked weed, chilled, hung out, met aLOT of people.

And now Im counting down the days until Sept 3 when i start University.

So theres a VERY BRIEF outline of my life.


Uniquely impressive life story... It's admirable that you've seen all the sides of the cultural sphere, and you should feel very blessed for that.  

You've seen the highs and lows of the Western and Eastern World, and through it all you've came out a very smart, strong, self-assured, articulate brother.

 

There will be those that close their eyes, and plug their ears with their forefingers, and later swear upon their Holy Bibles to have seen no evil and heard no evil.  

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In America, the Jews (in power) sap the very life-blood of the so-called Negroes to maintain the state of Isrea
 

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2002, 10:35:34 AM »
Quote
^^ You left out the part where you were persecuted by the Western Christian movement, thereby making u.s. civilian deaths alright in your mind.  


LMAO!!!!!

That was funny, Infinite don't take it so seriously
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

infinite59

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2002, 10:37:02 AM »
Quote


LMAO!!!!!

That was funny, Infinite don't take it so seriously


No.  I don't think it was said in jest, Trauma intentionally tried to discredit my brother Tech, and Trauma can only imagine the things Tech has seen first hand, so he's in no position to speak!!!!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

HBKid_Jr

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2002, 08:31:51 PM »
as a kid-  dope as fuck growin up in queens.  as a lil kid i saw a lot. i lived right across tha street from a school yard so everyday i was play b-ball or hand ball.  it was coo cuz thats where all tha older kids were chillin so i was always playin ball wit them.  i was like tha lil shorty ther all knew.  i saw a lot of shit find crack pipes an shit.  seein tha cops chase down some guy an tackle him.  at age 8 i was doin grafitti wit my friend irving an this kid he knew.  we didnt kno what we were doin so we were jus spray painting fuck u an pic of bart simpson,  lol.  jus a lot of fun.  than in 5th grade i moved to hicksville,  i still went to queens all tha time tho cuz my dad was still workin so he would drop me off at my friend jerrys's house i would chill over there.  a lot of fun an i cant front tha 1st year in hicksville was fun even tho i did get dissed for wantin to be black i still made some friends

JR HIGH-  shit started changing,  tha friends i made in my 1st year in hicksville werent in any of my classes.  an by tha time i would see them durin tha day they would be chillin wit some1 else.  i was gettin made fun for wantin to be black an a lot of other shit i dont wanna get into.  i couldnt say shit back cause no1 had my back.  thats when i learned them peeps out here cant fight for themselves so they get all there friends backs.  than in 7th grade i became friends wit some i was mad coo wit back in 5th.  we were chillin all tha time.  than my dad became paralyzed that year.  in one instance u do a lot of growin up an maturing a 7th grader shouldnt be going through.  but i survived tho.  I still had peeps i talked to but not tha type of people u hang out wit.  8th grade was alright.  but personal life sucked.  i was gettin food stamps,  my parents marrage ended,  an when ur like 13 years old an see all tha shit kids got u dont got it makes u feel like god hates u.  i started becomin bery shy an 2 myself.
Thing wit jr high is where i stopped bein myself stopped listenin to rap an became ashamed of who i was.  an there was one thing peeps said that has completely fucked me over to do this confidence an self-esteem wise an i dont plan on tellin any1,  that shit has completely fucked up my life 2 this day
HIGH SCHOOL-  9th grade was alright wasnt that bad.  10th grade sucked,  try having no1 to talk to in any of ur classes.  u basically sit there starin at tha board,  group work comes a long u dont work wit any1,  only class that was coo was wood working an lunch.  but 10th grade is where i became really shy an jus tha whole fuck tha world attitude got hates me so why should i try,  also since 10th grade i wanted to drop out an if i could do it again i would of dropped out an got my G.E.D.  11th grade started out tha same.  11th grade was weird,  had some real bad times an some real good times.  tha best times were proberly at tha end of 11th when i became made coo wit kane.  i knew him since 10th when he first moved up here.  12th is when i became really depressed tho.  by this time i realized god does not hate me an i need to change but this whole feelin of depression was all i knew since 8th grade,  i didnt kno how to make a change i was 2 affraid to make a change.  i saw every1 else havin fun enjoyin there last year in highschool.  there i was gettin angry an depressed. i did nothing at all except get angry.  no1 said anything to me cuz i never talked an always looked angry an if any1 said anything to piss me off i would snap on them. school ended i was happy 4 a week an than i got extremely depressed an wanted 2 die.  i let 4 of tha my best years fly by an i can never have them back.  i was now at my lowest.  my best friend kane was on vacation,  he finally came back so i was happy i finally had some1 2 chill wit jus 2 find out my only friend is movin back to north carolina.  theres no1 2 blame its like some1 was kickin me while i was already down.

NOW:  now i dont know,  im depressed an dont really care anymore.  jus awaiting my mediocre future.  I have no urge 2 go to college cuz i kno im never goin change.  i got no firends,  i got a piece of shit car i take to tha station to get fixed once a week cuz theres alway suptin wrong wit it.  as a matter of fact its at tha station right now cuz it keeps overheating.  i see no hope in my life what so ever.  i kno im never goin change.  theres a briefe outline
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Doggystylin

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2002, 10:28:57 PM »
tom your life is so depressing it makes me happy
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Woodrow

Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2002, 11:49:37 PM »
Quote
^^ You left out the part where you were persecuted by the Western Christian movement, thereby making u.s. civilian deaths alright in your mind.  



Ive never used this term before, but here would be a good place to start:

LOL
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

Political Gangsta

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2002, 02:57:01 AM »
Quote
as a kid-  dope as fuck growin up in queens.  as a lil kid i saw a lot. i lived right across tha street from a school yard so everyday i was play b-ball or hand ball.  it was coo cuz thats where all tha older kids were chillin so i was always playin ball wit them.  i was like tha lil shorty ther all knew.


It was not by coincedence or by accident that you were placed into your unique position on this Earth.  Your childhood was in preperation of fullfillment of a plan far greater then yourself.  You were blessed with the oppurtunity to biuld with the older cats in your hood, and understand a side of life that those you would encounter later in your life, could only imagine.  

Quote

 i saw a lot of shit find crack pipes an shit.  seein tha cops chase down some guy an tackle him.  at age 8 i was doin grafitti wit my friend irving an this kid he knew.  we didnt kno what we were doin so we were jus spray painting fuck u an pic of bart simpson,  lol.  jus a lot of fun.  than in 5th grade i moved to hicksville,  i still went to queens all tha time tho cuz my dad was still workin so he would drop me off at my friend jerrys's house i would chill over there.  a lot of fun an i cant front tha 1st year in hicksville was fun even tho i did get dissed for wantin to be black i still made some friends

Quote


It may be that Allah at first granted you respite in your new home at Hicksville, a brief interval of fun and excitement, before the suffering you would later endure.  And while under this protection from Allah you came to an understanding that life was to be enjoyed and that you had a place in this life.  Although the attitudes of others would later frustrate you into questioning your previous understandings and aspirations in this world.


Quote

JR HIGH-  shit started changing,  tha friends i made in my 1st year in hicksville werent in any of my classes.  an by tha time i would see them durin tha day they would be chillin wit some1 else.  i was gettin made fun for wantin to be black an a lot of other shit i dont wanna get into.  i couldnt say shit back cause no1 had my back.  thats when i learned them peeps out here cant fight for themselves so they get all there friends backs.  than in 7th grade i became friends wit some i was mad coo wit back in 5th.  we were chillin all tha time.  than my dad became paralyzed that year.  in one instance u do a lot of growin up an maturing a 7th grader shouldnt be going through.  but i survived tho.  I still had peeps i talked to but not tha type of people u hang out wit.  8th grade was alright.  but personal life sucked.  i was gettin food stamps,  my parents marrage ended,  an when ur like 13 years old an see all tha shit kids got u dont got it makes u feel like god hates u.  i started becomin bery shy an 2 myself.
Thing wit jr high is where i stopped bein myself stopped listenin to rap an became ashamed of who i was.  an there was one thing peeps said that has completely fucked me over to do this confidence an self-esteem wise an i dont plan on tellin any1,  that shit has completely fucked up my life 2 this day


It appears that in highschool, the brief and narrow vision of your Hicksville peers was incapable of understanding another student who grew up a little different from them.  In an effort to ascribe to their alien standards of behavior, you tried to take on their pretentious, self-effacing way of life, but found that path to repulsive and disgusting to continue.  You were therefore left with no choice but to go without the friendship and even the respect of your peers.  Sometimes we are placed in no-win situations.  In these situations, we must not see these  fragments of lives truths and equate them as the total sum of our existence.  The scope of Allah's plan is much larger then this, and be patient, because later his plan will be fully developed and actualized.  Be humble in your struggles, for Allah is preparing you for the fullfillment of his ultimate plan.  And there is justice in His will and plan.

Quote


HIGH SCHOOL-  9th grade was alright wasnt that bad.  10th grade sucked,  try having no1 to talk to in any of ur classes.  u basically sit there starin at tha board,  group work comes a long u dont work wit any1,  only class that was coo was wood working an lunch.  but 10th grade is where i became really shy an jus tha whole fuck tha world attitude got hates me so why should i try,  also since 10th grade i wanted to drop out an if i could do it again i would of dropped out an got my G.E.D.  11th grade started out tha same.  11th grade was weird,  had some real bad times an some real good times.  tha best times were proberly at tha end of 11th when i became made coo wit kane.  i knew him since 10th when he first moved up here.  12th is when i became really depressed tho.  by this time i realized god does not hate me an i need to change but this whole feelin of depression was all i knew since 8th grade,


Here you describe your true nature, your inclination to the God that created you.  The religious urges that exist in man should not be recognized as a mere passing phase of one's intellectual, moral, and physical development.  But rather, it should be assimilated into his character, and made the ultimate source of all his thoughts, actions, and concepts of morality.

Quote


 i didnt kno how to make a change i was 2 affraid to make a change.  i saw every1 else havin fun enjoyin there last year in highschool.  there i was gettin angry an depressed. i did nothing at all except get angry.  no1 said anything to me cuz i never talked an always looked angry an if any1 said anything to piss me off i would snap on them. school ended i was happy 4 a week an than i got extremely depressed an wanted 2 die.  i let 4 of tha my best years fly by an i can never have them back.  i was now at my lowest.  my best friend kane was on vacation,  he finally came back so i was happy i finally had some1 2 chill wit jus 2 find out my only friend is movin back to north carolina.  theres no1 2 blame its like some1 was kickin me while i was already down.


Brother El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (Malcolm X) once said, "I think it is far greater a crime to teach one to hate himself, than it is to teach him to hate someone else."  You became angry, and you had been taught to turn the other cheek against those that transgressed against you, in doing so, the blade of that anger was turned inward, this self-hatred often takes the form of a death wish, with many elusive manifestations.  The death wish, is really a wish to control ones own destiny, a deeply emotional desire to dictate your own existence, and no longer be living to act out a play in which your part was not written in the script.  To no longer be at the mercy of the wims of another.  

Although Islam gives an allowance that the victim may transgress likewise against the transgressor, in many ways you were up against a faceless, and amorphous oppressor.  Therefore, the only solution was to have patience and faith that Allah's plan would be fullfilled and that those pretentious, self-effacing, narrowminded upper class snobs in hicksville, and the various social agents of American society that put you in a no win situation, will not go unpunished.  Patience is learned from fasting, prayer, faith in the God that created you.

Quote


NOW:  now i dont know,  im depressed an dont really care anymore.  jus awaiting my mediocre future.  I have no urge 2 go to college cuz i kno im never goin change.  i got no firends,  i got a piece of shit car i take to tha station to get fixed once a week cuz theres alway suptin wrong wit it.  as a matter of fact its at tha station right now cuz it keeps overheating.  i see no hope in my life what so ever.  i kno im never goin change.  theres a briefe outline


Understand that the struggles you've encountered at a young age were not imagined, and that you were not created in vain.  There is a great purpose in his grand design for you.  Understand that you are not mediocre because you are great because the God that created you rules high above, and has a like unto none.  It may be that you will find hope one day in your hopelessness, and you have already succeeded and you are already great for surviving through your life struggle and still staying true to yourself.  

May the peace of Allah be unto you.  1 (God)
 

There will be those that close their eyes, and plug their ears with their forefingers, and later swear upon their Holy Bibles to have seen no evil and heard no evil.  

Eldridge Cleaver

In America, the Jews (in power) sap the very life-blood of the so-called Negroes to maintain the state of Isrea
 

Jay ay Beee

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2002, 05:04:31 AM »
Tom, beware, because you will soon recieve a package from Political Gangsta containing a plane ticket to the Middle East to help bolster the revolution!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

budsmokeronly

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2002, 06:40:41 AM »
Quote
NOW:  now i dont know,  im depressed an dont really care anymore.  jus awaiting my mediocre future.  I have no urge 2 go to college cuz i kno im never goin change.  i got no firends,  i got a piece of shit car i take to tha station to get fixed once a week cuz theres alway suptin wrong wit it.  as a matter of fact its at tha station right now cuz it keeps overheating.  i see no hope in my life what so ever.  i kno im never goin change.  theres a briefe outline


Tom cheer up man.  Why stay all depressed and feel sorry for yourself and dwell on the past.  Ain't a damn thing you can do about the past.  Just forget it and move on.  Concentrate on the now.  Of course your never going to change if you keep the attitude you have.  Do what the fuck you want to do in life.  Do whatever the hell makes you happy.  Don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of you.  You constantly complain about your town- so fuckin move man.  Why would you stay in a place that you truely hate.  You say you don't have any friends, well go to college man, it is a great place to meet many people.  You got to change yourself dude, ain't no one gonna do it for you.  Your life is all up to yourself.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

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Re: Life Story, Long or Short
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2002, 06:55:50 AM »
Quote

You got to change yourself dude, ain't no one gonna do it for you.  Your life is all up to yourself.



One of the most intelligent things ever said on this board

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »