Wrongly structured sentences ;D ;D

[Z the laidback Virus]

You can quite often come across these sentences wich are to say one thing but are written so fucked up they get to mean something completely different.Some I found (translated from dutch):

Christmas Present Tip: A complete shrubbing and cleaning job for your car or your friend,girlfriend,father,mother,spouse or partner.

Dead horse stalks Anky von Grunsven

'Kickboxing was her passion.Thanks to her 3-year older twin brother.'

Fraudproject of Finances (ministery) allready has a 70 million euros profit.

'Be extra careful with Methotrexate
-when your kidneys work less efficiently
-when you have an infection
-when you're weakened
-when you're either very young or very old

Find help from your doctor when one of these warnings applies to you or has applied to you.'

Biographer puts view of Nero on his head

Participants are guaranteed to be part of the game.

'Sorry,we're busy changing our windows for 2004 and thus don't look too well.'

'Remember he's an old man..he should be in a nursing home 20 years ago!'