First time around...Salas shyt

[The Ghost When I Zone Off]

Aight this is my first time doin this thing but theres alotta shit on my mind lately I felt like spittin about.

yo yo yo/
When we get out the car fuck the trunk it ain't pop up/
already got the heat in the belt u gettin shot up/
and yo it ain't a threat matter fact it's a promise/
get the rock from P.Y. and yayo from Thomas/
chop it up make a buck lay low in the Bahamas/
I ain't there yet so I gotta pack alotta llamas/
cuz theres still drama, I try and stay away but I'll still bust your muthafuckin face like a pinata/
and that's just instinct/
I dont give a fuck what you really think/
try and play me I'll let your body stink/
and no ozium can cover up that smell/
I only rock that when Im burnin an L/
it ain't hard to tell/
norte red flaggin fuck scraps gotta problem I'ma see you in hell
you cocksuckers...

[*Z* - The Queen of Dubcc]

aint bad for da FIRST

but look after da flow dont miss it and think about a topic, no1 talked bout!
and make yo rhymez more complex, and look for a rhymesheme...if u want to write once again!
thants all! good luck!
WincedSpell
but i aint all good 2, i just practice this time .....

[Inspectah]

Piece was aight, i felt the topic, and the flow was good.. lyrically was good could always be better from anyone.. Keep elevating.