4th verse phrom my homie's song

[Suffice]

so we pulled up to this club, right?
I knew twas gonna be a long and passionate night
cuz i saw a certain light in the dark black sky
thinkin "Damn, i must the be the luckiest guy"
that ever walked the earth, wishin i would just die
cuz her presence makes me so weak i might just cry
but at the same time i know that she's truly benign
i wanted to thank God for makin' her parents multi-ply
resulting in perfection that i see with my eyes
enough with that... we danced to this beat a thousand times
moving our bodies to the rhythm, her movement truly divine
i couldn’t get enough of her heavenly beauty shrine
but then... something happened that made me go blind
a stray bullet fired from the back of my mind,
penetrated her heart and made her image die
i lost everything in that instant
my world collapsed and my future shattered
and everything that i used to love and care for
no longer mattered

This is the first song i'm posting on this board, lemme know what ya'll think

[Inspectah]

I liked this verse, you should extend it, coz i think its agood story based verse. Props to ya man.. Lyricall content, average, but simplistic is the key to a dope ryhme!

Peace