1 Verse PLZ leave feedback

[A_X_E]

ayo this my part of a collab im doin with my boy, its over a deep, reflective beat, what yall think? leave feedback plz

What’s crackin? Shit is tragic, this madness it saddens, addicts keep blasting/
Gun shots passing mine, everlasting crime we ride/
You wanna stay behind and hide? That’s fine/
But me and mine aint fine so we grind, GOD give me a sign/
Are we blind to the truth, in my youth I would loot/
And distribute loop, but yo this blow, this snow/
Giving me a cash flow, I know it’s wrong/
But what’s right is gone, as I write my song/
I’m thinking how you grinning from sinning/
And children is beginning to stop listening/
And I’m making my figures, pulling back triggers/
But Back to the rap at hand, man understand, shit is tragic/
Check what’s happening, bombs can get dropped on ya moms/
In Salvador, police corps can bust down ya door/
Treat ya mom n ya sisters like whores/
And if you object they’ll make a mess with a slug through ya head/
This is real, stop complaining I’m painting a picture of what pain is/
Quien habla? Soy y mis parablas son de mi Corazon/
You aint promised nada not even manana, say bye to ya mama/
Lets talk dawg, we all part of the same game/
Rock thru the same pain, man we need a change/
My son is nearly 3, and he aint near to me/
I aint never met the lil vato, pero es siempre caro para mi Corazon/
He’s my own, cant wait till he’s grown even if I never see him/
I hope he eating, hope he always breathing, hope he’s being a good kid/
Grow up good in the hood kid, don’t touch drugs, shit will fuck with ya luck cuz/
Everybody tryna act hard, tryna act raw, but truth is you useless, you can get dropped gawd/
Fuck the law, they holding us back, I’m loading the gatt ready to blast/
I’m Acadian raging against racist, face it, I made it, still alive 2 thousand and five/
Son don’t touch that gun, you bigger than that, this bigger than rap/
Figures get stacked but for what price? The cost of a life/
I’m getting my cake up, ready to get made cuz…shhh baby don’t wake up/
Can’t tell you where I was love, but you know you fuck with a real thug/
Street love, the only thing holding me up cuz, so its familia para la vida/


paz y gracias

[oglocdogg]

its decent man not bad at all try and get it rhyming properly if you get me. like when im rapping it to myself i seem to have take pauses n shit for it all to fit together n rhyme but maybe you are ok rapping it anyway nice man keep it up keep goin

[A_X_E]

yea i see ya point, thx for the feedback

keep that shit comin!

paz