RAPPERS E-40 AND KEAK DA SNEAK ARRESTED!!!

[marochick510]

WASHINGTON, March 10, 2006.

Lyrics by Bay Area Hip Hop artists E-40 and Keak da Sneak have led to their arrest today, after cryptic messages directly addressing Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden have been discovered in their music.

In one song among many others, "Tell me when to go", the CIA have discovered what they believe to be a detailed and demented plot instructing Al Qaeda members how to kill the President's wife, and inside jokes about the failure of the United States government, and rap fans to pick up on their plan.

Keak da Sneak, whose real name is Mohammed Kekdasnik, is actually a Russian-born, long time Al Qaeda member, who was long thought dead after bombing a factory in Glasgow, but apparently has changed his identity and moved further up in the ranks of the terrorist organization, "raps" this in the afforementioned song/death plot:

"aghliijbragui........aweuighabligbhlrguaug...wife yy, wifeyy...aguohgaulahiga;gg;ful...eohugar...hypheyy y, hypheyyy.....wearoiggggggggggggahlahrguruhgaagruli iiiiiiiiiiiiiihuuhuhuh uhuharaajdndghlkahg.................yaknowwhadimsa yintho?"

What appears to be nonsense is actually code, (devised by Ezatullah Farhad a.k.a. E-40). The lyrics/code when translated say:

"Good Day fellow warriors for truth. We will launch the assasination attempt on the President's wifey. That dumb b*tch must die. We will further expand the reaches of this hyphey bullsh*t, in order to recruit naive young Americans for terrorist purposes. I have already enlisted some real douchebags on a Hiphop messageboard-I can probably get them to blow themselves up by Monday...Tuesday the latest...yaknowwhadimsayintho?"

The horrifying revelations do not end there. Ezatullah Farhad was among the most dangerous men in the world when in the 1980s he mysteriously disappeared. Long thought dead, it is now believed he relocated to San Francisco. There he created a new identity, E-40, and began communicating with Al Qaeda via an invented an invented and impenetrable code.

Only recently he began to slip up, becoming arrogant. In his latest music video Farhad holds a toy yellow school bus (a signal for Al Qaeda to bomb an actual school bus). He also instructs the terrorists to leave the doors open when they kill the First Lady in her car, ("doors open mayne") so he can see the blood of this American infidel pour throught the streets of their doomed city. In Farhad's most arrogant move yet he repeatedly calls the U.S. government and the rap fans who fell for his "hyphy" plot, "stupid" and "dumb".

John T. Donaldson formerly of the CIA's code-cracking division had this to add, "In my time at the CIA, I learned this...any code can be cracked. This fella was good. He had some real nonsense words, but he got sloppy. And that's when we got him."

Donaldson went on to say, "what we have here is a master of disguise, Ezatullah Farhad was an athletic man in the late 70s, early 80s. This is a man who dined on Fatburger six times a day to hide his identity. If he wasn't an evil terrorist, why, you would have to admire dedication such as that."

Maybe we can all learn something from these men. You can't spell "death to America" without the 'd'. And the 'd' stands for dedication.

Tony Danza reporting,

Fox News

[mrtonguetwista]

*yawn*

[ThA KiD]

uhhh that was whacc, and E-40 is from vallejo not the sco

[youngmessnucca]

you know you got this from the siccness, you should post your sources dumbass

[J$crILLa]

horrible.

[QCDutch]

You can't spell "death to America" without the 'd'. And the 'd' stands for "dat's a load of bullshit"

[westkoastanostra]

fuckin dumbass...keak's real name is kunta kinte bowens...

[DaWgG]

this is a fucking joke right? 

[evan the dude]

fucking recockulous

[coola]

it had me until this part:

"aghliijbragui........aweuighabligbhlrguaug...wife yy, wifeyy...aguohgaulahiga;gg;ful...eohugar...hypheyy y, hypheyyy.....wearoiggggggggggggahlahrguruhgaagruli iiiiiiiiiiiiiihuuhuhuh uhuharaajdndghlkahg.................yaknowwhadimsa yintho?"

What appears to be nonsense is actually code, (devised by Ezatullah Farhad a.k.a. E-40). The lyrics/code when translated say:

"Good Day fellow warriors for truth.

[marochick510]

OF COURSE ITS A JOKE YOU STUPID ASS MUTHAFUCKAS..GOT DAYMN LIGHTEN UP ALL YALL NIGGAS GOT CHA THONG'S IN A BUNCH..LMAO!!

[truedupbluedup]

the TONY DANZA part didnt give it away to anyone?