Author Topic: Bums say the darnest things (Read 129 times)

R-Tistic · « **on:** October 15, 2006, 01:19:24 AM »

What are some of the dumbest, funniest, most ignorant things you've heard a bum, wino or crackhead say?

I've been between L.A. and Florida, and I've been to visit a grip of cities, so I've heard a lot...but I still hear somethin new every once in a while.

Here are a few dumb azz things I've heard in the last few months.......

Bum (in L.A.): Hey man, can I get some change?
Me: All I got is my Credit Card
Bum: Oh it's cool, I take debit or credit!

Bum (in Tallahassee): Excuse me, do you happen to have some change? I need to get something to eat
Me: [Gives change] Here you go...just make sure you are buyin food with it and not drugs
Bum: Ohh....um yeah, I'm gonna buy some food....I mean, it's not like I do CRAAACK or anything!

Wino (Atlanta): Can you give me some money for a burger? I dance and rap, I am a entertainer!!! [does a 1982 Mixmaster Spade style rap and dances]
Me: Man, you earned ya money, here goes two dollars!
Wino: Thanks man!!
##5 minutes later....after we DROVE 5 minutes to get to the gas station##
Me: [Sees bum walkin out with two beers in hand] Heeey, you said you were goin to buy some burgers!!
Wino: [Looks in shock, then looks at beers]....Oh shit!! I can't believe I forgot to get my burger!!!

ecrazy · « **Reply #1 on:** October 15, 2006, 01:29:28 AM »

There is this dude in front of my school, he is there every day, he tells people "please give me some change or im going to yell" and when they pass by, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and slams his canister, it freaks people out, but i think its fuckin hilarious

R-Tistic · « **Reply #2 on:** October 15, 2006, 02:01:25 AM »

Quote from: Quas E-Loco on October 15, 2006, 01:29:28 AM

There is this dude in front of my school, he is there every day, he tells people "please give me some change or im going to yell" and when they pass by, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and slams his canister, it freaks people out, but i think its fuckin hilarious

LMFAO, hahahahha wow. I would be dyin!!! LMAO

ecrazy · « **Reply #3 on:** October 15, 2006, 02:02:57 AM »

Quote from: R-Tistic on October 15, 2006, 02:01:25 AM

Quote from: Quas E-Loco on October 15, 2006, 01:29:28 AM
There is this dude in front of my school, he is there every day, he tells people "please give me some change or im going to yell" and when they pass by, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and slams his canister, it freaks people out, but i think its fuckin hilarious

LMFAO, hahahahha wow. I would be dyin!!! LMAO

yeah, the cops come by and they tell him to stop and he walks away, but he is always around the school for some reason (Hollywood & Highland, thats his area, you'll see him if your there during midday)

Chief · « **Reply #4 on:** October 15, 2006, 09:28:48 AM »

haha i used to enjoy talking to bums... nowa days they just give me the shits... every time i see a bum i think of wyclef... hell no mother fucker, you cant have no money from me.

QuietTruth · « **Reply #5 on:** October 15, 2006, 01:26:20 PM »

Quote from: R-Tistic on October 15, 2006, 01:19:24 AM

Wino (Atlanta): Can you give me some money for a burger? I dance and rap, I am a entertainer!!! [does a 1982 Mixmaster Spade style rap and dances]
Me: Man, you earned ya money, here goes two dollars!
Wino: Thanks man!!
##5 minutes later....after we DROVE 5 minutes to get to the gas station##
Me: [Sees bum walkin out with two beers in hand] Heeey, you said you were goin to buy some burgers!!
Wino: [Looks in shock, then looks at beers]....Oh shit!! I can't believe I forgot to get my burger!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!