Whats the dumbest thing you have done while drunk

[Boo-Yaa †]

Got my dick out on the dance floor and slapped a bitch in the ass with it, bouncer flung me out.

[MANBEARPIG.]

This one isnt as good as others but here it goes


last march, My work had a BBQ to send off the Winter Quarter.  I dont know a whole hell of a lot of people there and a lot of people there no eachother pretty well so I think "I'm gonna get drunk before I go".  so I mix a vodka sunrise and sit down to drink it.  Then I realize i got a couple hours I might as well play some Wii to kill time.  So I go to play and my fucking console isnt working, turns out one of my hosuemates dropped it and tried to lie to me about it.  Then I tell him he's paying for it and mix another drink.

2 hours pass and I'm on the phone with Nintendo of America trying to get info for the repair.  This whole time I stop drinking.  So I think to myself "I should go now" but I realize im still pretty sober, so I grab a bottle of Gin I had and pound about half a cup of it.  Im instantly feeling happier.  So I hop on my bike and go out to the pad where the BBQ was happening its 4pm mind you, say wassup to everyone and start drinking  I start making the weirdest drinks, like Triple Sec and Beer and callin people.  I call my best friend and she says all she heard was me screaming "fuck I lvoe Triple sec and beer, and I just wanted to talk to my best friend!!!" like screaming on the phone.  Well an hour or so passes and I take 2 shots and about 3 or 4 beers and people start leaving.  Everyone's like yea we're gonna come back tonight, there was gonna be a party at the same place.  so I cut out too. I hop on my bike and start goin down the road and I hit the curb, i cant keep my balance for shit.  next thing I know I'm cruisin into my backyard, fuckin time travelled home.  Then my neighbor upstairs is on her balcony and shes like "hey come up"  This is the same chick from the true girl story thread mind you.  So I say ok but hold on.  I puke all over my porch and got some on my shorts.  run into my apartment and see my roommate and I play sober goin into my drawer and pull out a condom and run up stairs.  apparently I went in and asked what she wanted then said "well if we arent gonna fuck I'ma go home, I'm really drunk."  I go back to my pad and fall into bed and knockout for a couple hours then I wake up and puke all over my bed.  and immediately spring up and pull all my sheets off and run to the laundry room to wash them.  I ended up staying up till about 2 am that night and went through all the stages of drunkness including the hangover in one night.

[Doggystylin]

I have one for Lambosv21 - he took a fire hydrant, indoors with about 8 other roommates asleep and sprayed that shit all over the house, the whole place was fogged up, passed out in the fog and powdery shit. Good one jackass.