Funniest Character on Scrubs

[Meho]

^^ Pirceless

Listen Vanessa Janice Tiffany Amber (in a sing-song voice) Thiessen. I'm gonna go ahead and give ya a little something I call Perry's Perspective. One, if the guy in front of me in the coffee shop can't decide what he wants in the 30 minutes it takes for him to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill him. Two, I'm fairly sure that if they took all the porn off the Internet, there'd only be one website left, and it would be called Bring Back The Porn. Third, and most important, to be respected as a doctor, nay a man, you must be an island. You're born alone, you damn sure die alone, (looks over and speaks to a cadaver rolling by) isn't that right Spike? My point is, and you may want to jot this down... only the weak need help.

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything every-everything that exists, past, present, and future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! ...Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

Do you want me to give you my "Things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything.

[Mac 10 †]

too hard to pick, thats what happens when a show is that good

[Teddy Roosevelt]

More random stuff.

Julie: This drug is the best one on the market. The only side effects are nause, impotence and anal leakage.
Dr. Cox : And, I'm getting two out of three, just from having this conversation.

J.D.: I was wondering if you knew that I have a date this weekend?
Dr. Cox : Really? Well, newbie, I'm glad that you finally found a woman who enjoys the benefits of a same sex relationship

J.D. : The doc here has been telling me that you have some great stories. I wouldn't mind hearing one sometime.
Dr. Kelso : Oh, what the hell. Back in '68 I don't like you. The end.

Dr. Cox : Lassie, in response to the bestiality rumors circulating about you, I have decided to forgo calling you by the usual girl's name, and instead I am going to refer to you as whatever famous dog I can think of. I have gone with Lassie because of course it satisfies the criteria of being both a girl's and a dog's name, thus helping you to ease into the transition
J.D. : I was just running kissing drills.
Dr. Cox : Oh, that is completely normal then.

Carla : What are you guys talking about?
Turk : Nothing, guy talk.
J.D. : Bitches and hoes.

J.D. : [Thinking] Just tell him how you feel without sounding like a woman.
J.D. : [to Turk] I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.


J.D. : Elliot, he didn't say goodbye to a lot of people. Just me, Dr. Cox, Carla, Doug, Snoop Dogg Intern...
Elliot: Who?
[J.D. points to intern]
Snoop Dogg Intern: Where my hoes at?
J.D. : I haven't seen them.

Dr. Cox: Captain Clip-On? Did you go ahead and tattle on me?
Ted: Oh, please, with the shocked look. Newsflash -- I'm sterile! [Cox and Kelso look at him] I mean gutless! ...My guys swim in circles. I--I think it's the bike-riding

Dr. Kelso : And I'll be damned if he doesn't disagree with everything I say just because I said it.
J.D. : Sir, I don't think that's true. [Kelso turns over] Dr. Kelso : It's hotter than hell in here, Perry!
Dr. Cox : Freezing!
Dr. Kelso : Great coffee, though!
Dr. Cox : Rat piss!
Dr. Kelso : Dr. Murphy here is an incompetent suck-up!
Dr. Cox : No, Bob, in fact he's one of the finest young doctors I ever had the good fortune of working with.
Dr. Kelso : [to J.D] Your witness.

Ted : I feel I'd be more productive if my phone dialed out.

Turk: Where's my lucky "Tabasco" rag?
J.D. : Why don't you use "Power Rangers"?
Turk: How are "Power Rangers" as lucky as "Tabasco"?
J.D.: Do you remember when communications with Zordon went down and the Megazord was destroyed?
Turk: How did I miss that episode? Oh, right. I was making love to a woman!

Dr. Kelso : Son, do you think I got to be Chief of Medicine by being late?
Dr. Cox : Noooo, Bobbo, you got there by backstabbing and ass-kissing.
Dr. Kelso : Maybe so, but I started those things properly at eight!

Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.
Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.
Elliot: ...We're not looking for *dead* Carla.
Janitor: Atta girl. You stay optimistic.

J.D. : Hey there, research buddy!
Dr. Cox : We're only four seconds in and I'm already regretting my decision.
J.D. : [hits a bell] Things Jordan says during sex!
[drops giant stack of carefully sorted files]
J.D. : ... there's a good chance I'm gonna kill someone.
Dr. Cox : [hits bell] Things you say when you talk to your patients.

Nurse Carla Espinosa : Christopher!
Chris Turk : Christopher? You only call me Christopher when you're mad or when we're having sex... Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Sometimes.

Dr. Cox : You're a wonderful and passionate person, and that's why I can see myself with you when I'm 70 and you're 65 and your face is 40 and your boobs are 29.

Dr. Cox : I don't necessarily buy all this new-agey crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan. And d'you know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.

[K.Dub]

^^^ haha, lol. funny

Shiet, i'm downloading all 5 seasons as we speak

[Meho]

ROFL, Scrubs really are the best, if it wasnt for the weak season 6 so far, Id say theyr even better than Seinfeld.

[K.Dub]

ROFL, Scrubs really are the best, if it wasnt for the weak season 6 so far, Id say theyr even better than Seinfeld.

Is season 6 weak?
I found a torrent with seasons 1-5 complete

[Meho]

Well,I'd still advise you to watch it but yeah its weak. Too serious, its like Tedd, Todd, Janitor and Coxs speaches disapeared.

[Eddie G.]

That's such a hard question, there's the pussiness of JD that's just so hilarious, or Cox being a complete tool, or Kelso who's just fuckin hilarious too.  Those are my top 3.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

I had to do it.

Kelso: Ted, you know my rule about personal problems--I'm not interested unless it involves my loved ones. Or possibly my wife.

Cox: (to Elliot) Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartels & James and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.

Cox: [to J.D.] I believe in team-building, too, Newbie. And I'd make my interns agree with me, but they're in a time-out right now because one of them used the phrase "let's rock and roll."
Kelso: Son, when you're an intern, you get treated like crap; and then when you're in a position of power, you do the same thing to them. It's inevitable! Like the tide, or the awkward toast I'm going to have to give some day at my son's big gay wedding. Mark my words: Eventually you'll treat them like dirt like the rest of us do.
J.D.: Sir, I'd love to chat, but it's already eight -- I gotta rock and roll.
Dr. Cox: I beg your pardon?
J.D. [standing at the wall with Cox's interns] I'm an attending!
Dr. Cox: Tell it to the wall, Newbie!

Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: I think you mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wus'UP

[blueberry]

i'd have to say dr cox and jd

[gav09]

All of em r funny, but I had 2 go with JD on this 1! U can always rely on JD 2 make u laugh!

[acgrundy]

hilarious show, one of the best on tv...I voted The Tod, although I could argue for the janitor, JD, and Dr. Cox...classic show, excellent writing.

[7even]

After long and intense thought Im going to pick Dr. Cox

[Teddy Roosevelt]

After long and intense thought Im going to pick Dr. Cox

Me too. JD is funny because the show is centered around him, so we are exposed to his funny ways the most. Janitor is hilarious, but there are no real characteristics about him. He just shows up, torments JD, and pretty much that's it. That's what's so funny about him. Cox on the other hand is just plain hilarious. His rants and wordplay are genius. John C. McGinley is an excellent actor too.

[Mac 10 †]

To be honest I find the script and the dialogue and the ideas funnier than any individual character.

Every person says funny stuff, even Elliott at times.