Now this is how you treat a cheating bitch.....

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

The 1st part is a girl's apology email for cheating.

2nd is his hilarious reply which was forwarded to HIS entire address
book
and is now circulating everywhere.


Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly
truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the
whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever
want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that
happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too
much
to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me,
I
absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were
exchanged
between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a
different
person. It is weird, The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack
a
smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and
I
am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I
am
also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it
sounds
totally crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is
totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my
behavior
didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate
me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible
person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to
take
back what happened.
I am so sorry.

Elizabeth


RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for
"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to
carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of
whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes
while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you
ate
too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is
grounds
for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
span,
or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him"
somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if
the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves
around
blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it
must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone
else's
feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends
don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average
run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as
your average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching
sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

[Certified]

damn..hahah..what a hoe

[big mat]

TRICK ASS BIAAAATCHHHHHH

[es-jay]

wow, just wow.

[Chief]

ouch

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

LOL! How did you get a hold of this?

[StevenQBosell]

I liked the response, witty.

She must feel like straight shit now... nice     

[Bones01]

LMAO! put that bitch in her place 

[Sanford - V. President of the Dangerous Crew Movement]

LOL

[-CaliKid-]

LMAO! the response was great 

[The Watcher]

watching sea lions mate? hahaha

stupid hoe

[MontrealCity's Most]

2ice in 2 hours !!!! damn

[Chief]

why is it every time i read a well crafted response, i think its j bananas?

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

why is it every time i read a well crafted response, i think its j bananas?

That sounded like banana boy to you?

[Chief]

he did post up as brad piff at some point...