Author Topic: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...  (Read 472 times)

Natural_Instinc

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an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« on: June 14, 2002, 11:20:34 AM »
sittin riddled at my ma's crib...fueled..bedroom thinkin~ l shrinkin, smolderin the mood, cruel livid/
flip it vivid...freshen time with a peppermint mind~ spillin v.class moves as a letterman a rhyme/
pressin fine, break the strain...gainin off the line engaged~ pavin way into motion off the stillness primed in fate/
if its great, catch me poppin...gotta second? watch me rock it!~ try to question what im spittin -n you'll only lose ya noggin/
shoot the honest, and i plummit..speakin easy underground~ peakin everest, climbin mountains jus to get to the clouds/
call me proud, kick the confidence...broke -n still leechin~ a scholar a the rythem but a kid who hates readin /
follow reason..yes a student...unemployed..conscious fuedin~
clenchin hard on the real and gettin chills from the music/
middle class rooted, seperate, combine....flop the minimal~
twinin..call it stuck ...jus a knock away from pitiful/
no ridicule untypical....obliterated literal ~ poundin past the prescense to escape -n change the visual/
a rigid pull lingering inside the cracks im quakin~ drivin charged off the grind, when all i really want is paticence/



« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

PakiGangsta

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Re: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2002, 12:54:00 PM »
that was really very nice...good use of multis...and it was really very good......
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

ChildOfMuthaNature

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Re: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2002, 01:12:25 AM »
nice rhyme but hard to decipher
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

'Illicit'

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Re: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2002, 12:38:42 PM »
yeh I agree, create a line order so its easier to follow.

but dope piece dawg.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

:.Da6shoota.:

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Re: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2002, 11:16:09 PM »
That shit was wack!

Brush up on them lyrical skillz or U'll get ripped  :o
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »
 

'Illicit'

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Re: an untitled drop....give feedback pleez...
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2002, 06:25:42 AM »
at least he tryin man, he wanted feedback,  that wasnt wack, it may not have been good but def not wack compared to some shit bein dropped on this board.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 04:00:00 PM by 1034398800 »